OP never asked if their partner should have known they didn't want sex. OP is asking about if and how they should bring this issue up.
So I'm hard-core baffled by your statement “You can and should take control of your life.” LOL they are taking control of their life. They have acknowledged an issue and are asking for advice, not back-handed victim blaming.
I have literally NEVER met a person with PTSD who wanted to be f****d while they're being triggered back to a horrific moment.
I’ve accidentally hit my boyfriend in the balls during sex, cuddling, play wrestling, and even at a water park! While he has obviously either yelled that it hurt or bitched about it upon impact, he accepts my apology and doesn’t yell or break things. That’s how it should be. Your boyfriend is a piece of abusive, manipulative trash and you need to just move on. Whose name is on the lease?
You need to stop being a panty waist. Stand up for yourself. Don't allow her to interject. Don't allow her to change the subject. Don't allow her to interrupt.
“No, you're not talking. I am talking. You need to stop interrupting and listen to me.”
“No, we are not talking about that. I am trying to communicate with you which means you need to stop talking and listen to me for once in your life.”
Communication in healthy relationship is essential and if it stops, the relationship is damaged or over.
Giving a partner the silent treatment is not ok. Telling your partner you need some time to process before talking something out is good communication and a reasonable request.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Maybe. The first night I almost fucked her i was a bit drunk and she told me to just put it in (without condom) she later told me she's not on birth control. She tried getting me drunk numerous times since and fucking her but truth is I never came while fucking her. I wouldn't be surprised if she was poking holes in the condom but she kept asking if I came while fucking her but never did. In fact I have to take a sex pill to get hard most of the time. She said we'd have cute kids the first time we did it.
You’ve only been together 9 months. This is the best he will ever behave. Just leave him. Couple counseling makes sense if you have been married 10 years and have kids, but after 9 months? Hell no.
Leave, and also you need to get formal custody and child support arrangements. Maybe that will kick him into gear to get a good job and take care of himself (and his kid).
You have to be frim when she tries to cross that line, it will be tough and it can even seem cruel at the time (if she's as manipulative as you described, it definitely will, she'll make sure of that) but that's your boundary that's not to be crossed and that is sacred, trauma or not.
If there really is no one else then be there for her if you can, do your best and remember you're not a trained professional so there's only so much you can do, so don't despair if you can't pull your friend out of that hole.
If she hasn't already it's possible she will tell you straight up she needs to be close to someone in this time, again if you don't want to be that person there's absolutely nothing wrong with that (back to first paragraph).
I understand the need to help, that's a virtue thru and thru, but remember your life is just as, if not more, important as hers so if it seems like she's pulling you down and you can't pull both of you up you need to think about cutting that relationship off, for you own sake, but that's just a big IF.
I think that's the case. I feel like I lost a good guy because my brain fail to see that what he did was also fucked up. and that although I shouldn't have lied but there was no discussed boundary. and he just made me believe that all of this was solely my fault.
I don't usually talk to a lot of people nor go on dates so I think I got attached easily and it makes me feel like I'll never find someone who will like me the same way he did, before this whole thing broke down..
OP never asked if their partner should have known they didn't want sex. OP is asking about if and how they should bring this issue up.
So I'm hard-core baffled by your statement “You can and should take control of your life.” LOL they are taking control of their life. They have acknowledged an issue and are asking for advice, not back-handed victim blaming.
I have literally NEVER met a person with PTSD who wanted to be f****d while they're being triggered back to a horrific moment.
I’ve accidentally hit my boyfriend in the balls during sex, cuddling, play wrestling, and even at a water park! While he has obviously either yelled that it hurt or bitched about it upon impact, he accepts my apology and doesn’t yell or break things. That’s how it should be. Your boyfriend is a piece of abusive, manipulative trash and you need to just move on. Whose name is on the lease?
You need to stop being a panty waist. Stand up for yourself. Don't allow her to interject. Don't allow her to change the subject. Don't allow her to interrupt.
“No, you're not talking. I am talking. You need to stop interrupting and listen to me.”
“No, we are not talking about that. I am trying to communicate with you which means you need to stop talking and listen to me for once in your life.”
Communication in healthy relationship is essential and if it stops, the relationship is damaged or over.
Giving a partner the silent treatment is not ok. Telling your partner you need some time to process before talking something out is good communication and a reasonable request.
Hello /u/Suspicious-Swan1187,
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The statistics are in your favour, not his, about 70% of us cant orgasm from penetration alone
Kill him with a bomb. ???
Maybe. The first night I almost fucked her i was a bit drunk and she told me to just put it in (without condom) she later told me she's not on birth control. She tried getting me drunk numerous times since and fucking her but truth is I never came while fucking her. I wouldn't be surprised if she was poking holes in the condom but she kept asking if I came while fucking her but never did. In fact I have to take a sex pill to get hard most of the time. She said we'd have cute kids the first time we did it.
Your husband preyed upon one of his students, so he's in no position to determine how children should be raised.
You’ve only been together 9 months. This is the best he will ever behave. Just leave him. Couple counseling makes sense if you have been married 10 years and have kids, but after 9 months? Hell no.
Leave this person alone OP. If you're that worried have the police do a welfare check. You and Liz plan is horrible
Looking at your history…. You can't be that stupid can you?
You complain about your partner since the start of you relation yet you are still with him.
He doesn't love you, and won't defend you. Why should he?
You play game all long and seems to live in your own world. I mean : 'what is my chinese ID, I'm American' come on girl…
You are only 35 but you need to grow up, see the world and find someone else.
You deserve a better you, and a true relationship. You are still arguing with stranger on internet and you don't listen to them.
You need a pause.
Get ready for heartbreak Baby
Get on your own birth control right now. You can't trust him so protect yourself. You might INTEND to not have sex with him, but sometimes….
“I am not ready to father a child right now”
Then don't have sex.
Leave, and also you need to get formal custody and child support arrangements. Maybe that will kick him into gear to get a good job and take care of himself (and his kid).
Ok Karen
How the blistering balls did you make that determination?
Thank you
Very true. Hopefully she will be embarrassed and might offer you more of what she meant
If you ignore your girlfriend for a month straight she’s not going to be your girlfriend when she’s back from the trip, you do understand that right.
I agree and she knows she is
You have to be frim when she tries to cross that line, it will be tough and it can even seem cruel at the time (if she's as manipulative as you described, it definitely will, she'll make sure of that) but that's your boundary that's not to be crossed and that is sacred, trauma or not.
If there really is no one else then be there for her if you can, do your best and remember you're not a trained professional so there's only so much you can do, so don't despair if you can't pull your friend out of that hole.
If she hasn't already it's possible she will tell you straight up she needs to be close to someone in this time, again if you don't want to be that person there's absolutely nothing wrong with that (back to first paragraph).
I understand the need to help, that's a virtue thru and thru, but remember your life is just as, if not more, important as hers so if it seems like she's pulling you down and you can't pull both of you up you need to think about cutting that relationship off, for you own sake, but that's just a big IF.
Man kick this bible bro to the curb and get a guy who’ll give you some dick
I think that's the case. I feel like I lost a good guy because my brain fail to see that what he did was also fucked up. and that although I shouldn't have lied but there was no discussed boundary. and he just made me believe that all of this was solely my fault.
I don't usually talk to a lot of people nor go on dates so I think I got attached easily and it makes me feel like I'll never find someone who will like me the same way he did, before this whole thing broke down..
Search avoidant relationship behavior. Specifically “phantom ex”. Could be deeper issues. Especially the age gap is indicating this.
Relatable af
If you can find a womens shelter in your area they can help you organise an escape