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Seems like she’s a bad partner if she’s gonna just go cold on you because sex goes poorly one time. I would expect it to end but that’s probably a good thing tbh. If she gives up that easily with sex imagine what will happen with a real problem in the relationship. Find someone who can actually communicate and work on things with you.
I'd send him a simple text. Pick a different name for your new daughter, or we are officially done. If you want contact with me, the baby can't share my name. Period. Then don't respond to anything until the name is changed. Past that, after the baby is born, ask to see the birth certificate. If they refuse to show it to you… The physical original copy, in person, then let him know you're done. If they show it to you and the name Lilly is on it, tell them you're done and walk out. I'd include the middle name in this as well. Tell them this is nonnegotiable.
Also, I suspect, if he wasn't in much contact before he got engaged to Laura, he only got in contact more to win Laura over. This is all shady as f**k.
She has a right to her boundaries, you also have that same right.
Having to ask for consent every time, that sounds weird especially since you said you’ve kissed multiple times/ I would tell her that it just sounds like things wouldn’t work out.
Honestly, sounds like some friend(s) convinced her that she’s doing it wrong and needs you to ask for consent.
This is already an emotional affair, he’s the exciting forbidden option and you’re the boring steady dependable bf, only way to change that is to walk out temporarily so she realizes what she might be missing and u actually become unpredictable and hence interesting again (atm u can’t compete with him)
Updateme!
You may not be doing it intentionally, but using her as a placeholder u til that fictional someone shows up isn’t great.
It seems like you’re both in a codependent relationship based off of neither of you thinking you can get anyone else/can’t bear the idea of being alone. That by itself is enough to foster some serious resentment on both sides.
If you want to end up despising her, by all means stay together. If you honestly do think she’s at least a friend, you owe it to her to set her free.
There are so many red flags in this post, I don't even know which is the biggest.
(Yes I do, it's that she had a suicide attempt TWO WEEKS AGO that you sort of mention as a throwaway item?!?)
Neither of you is ready to get married.
If you are financially secure for the rest of your life and you are disabled, just tell people you are retired.
It tells people you aren't working and you don't plan on going to work.
And it tells people you are financially secure.
Now if that's not the case, don't say retired.
Take the job. It's short term so you can easily do long distance.
She has nothing to do with you. Any “reaching out” should be to your husband.
So you want all the attention? You want everything to be about you?