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Hey, I’m a guy and it sounds like your boyfriends cheating on you or if you are cool with him banging other chicks then he’s at least treating you poorly in the bedroom
That's a tough one but I'd probably block her. She's not worth your effort.
english is not my native langue so sorry for the grammar. i will try to help as much as I can. what is your job? what do you do? not like others Redditors I do judge both sides and try to find what are the missing things in the post.
in my opinion, the fault is on the two of you. did you try to learn and help in the family business? from what I know about restaurants it is really unforgive and hard work over the first year. most of them can't handle the first year. so it makes sense what your husband is going through. it must be hell. when did they open?
but after all that, his problem is that he doesn't know how to build boundaries, the irony is that he really needs to start to learn if he wants the business to succeed. he needs to start to find a way to balance his life with the business if he will put too much into that and it will not pay off he will lose his health. (from depression to even suicide) I saw it happen to a lot of people in the corona time. I believe that a family is a unit, not an individual so he needs to try and trust you and share with you as much as he can to help him with the restaurant. you need to find a way to learn about what is going on in the restaurant and by doing so maybe it will help him make more free time for you.
but as for your problem and blame that I see from the post is that you want something from him that he can't give because you don't try to understand his pov. learn what he is doing and talk to him about that ask him to teach you as much as he can and that will help him make you a priority in his life.
“If you feel like you are currently doing too much for our kids then I think we might need to put our engagement on hold.” Or just straight up take a vacation and let him shoulder the full weight of what you do to serve as a wake up call. I personally couldn’t remain with a selfish person, so imo there is nothing YOU can do to save this. HE needs to step up or you shouldn’t shoulder his dead weight. You CANNOT change anybody except yourself, HE has to want to change for him to do so.
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Go get tested, if he’s having unprotected sex with you he’s having unprotected sex with other people too.
I understand what you are saying completely on the telling best friends thing, but I do hope you realize not everyone thinks that way. I am a very reserved person generally and also introverted, so going around announcing something very near and dear to me to every single person in my life is honestly pretty draining. I get why he was upset, never once did I care about him being a little bummed about that, it's more the fact that he chose to go about telling me by being extremely passive aggressive and then choosing to straight up ignore me when I attempted to have a mature conversation with him about it where things didn't stoop to that level. And apologizing was actually the first thing I did. I told him that I was sorry that it upset him, but to know it wasn't anything personal on my end and that I simply chose not to reach out to every single person I know because quite frankly it would have been overwhelming to me. The social media post was more to do that for me and us because we know how people get about knowing these things.
Also, I'm sorry if you misinterpreted it this way, but I wasn't BRAGGING about saving his life. I was just using that to make a point that I have literally put myself in danger out of love for this friend to save his life, and now I am hurt that he has basically dead'd me over something as simple as not finding out directly about our engagement. And truthfully, life has been insanely busy since the engagement so it didn't exactly cross my mind like that. We recently bought a house, got a puppy and the holiday season was insanity with things to do. I had definitely planned to tell him when I saw him next and hung out, but it's been really tough to do that with any friends for a couple of months. Had he not stopped talking to me, I probably would have hung out with him in the past couple of weeks.
And yes, I very much do not only like but also love this friend. I care about him A LOT and we get along in a lot of ways. However, he unfortunately is one of those people that you always feel like you are walking on eggshells with, because he is always ready to pounce on someone for something and he gets a rise out of trolling people and making them feel like shit. He's very strange to me because part of his personality is so calm and chill, but then there is a part of him that likes to act like a bully with people. A Jekyll and Hyde personality if you will. He recently also ruined friendships with two other friends in my friend group because he was basically being an asshole to them over nothing, and I even had to stick up for one of my friends at one point and directly say something to him about it. He did apologize but that was after being a massive asshole about it first. Of course I accepted his apology but now I've been seeing this pattern of him trying to go at people and blow things out of proportion. So do I like this friend? The answer is yes, but only when he's being his normal and calm self. I do NOT like the part of him that acts like a bully to others, especially because I know he can be better than that. I hope this clears things up for you, I know my post was a little messy and truthfully it's hard for me to collect my thoughts well when I'm feeling emotional about something.
You should’ve had the abortion. Sorry. You need to take drastic measures now. Hire a lawyer. This is going to get worse if you don’t take control of it. It’s terrible bc this is a human life now we’re discussing but she deserves better and needs to be put up for adoption. You need to get a lawyer and figure this out. Never ever let another person tell you what to do with your body and if you do, get it in writing.
Wooooo boy, there's much to dissect here……and none of it positive, imo.
Let me ask you something. How would you feel if you and your gf were going through a rough patch and she was constantly emotionally leaning on another guy? You wouldn't feel good, right? You would feel that it's disrespectful, right?
That's what's happening now.
She's telling you of how horrible her boyfriend is, but the truth of the matter is that you can't say for certain that it's the whole truth. You don't know what the boyfriend's side of the matter is.
She can try to paint her bf as such a bad guy all day long………but at the end of the matter, she's inviting another guy to stay at her place MULITPILE times. Let's not pretend to know whether that was an innocent offer or if she was hoping for something to happen. The bottom line, is that it's extremely disrespectful to this relationship that she currently has.
Do what you want, but I'm telling you, dude, something feels “off” about this. If you ever get in a relationship and find out that she's hanging out with another guy more than you……don't say it's unexpected or feign some sort of outrage, seeing you were that other guy as well once upon a time.
A deadman would suck it up and make it work. If your parents are giving you money then they may always have a vote. Just remember that. You are lucky to have that extra income too. Be careful
So here's the deal, I've never had a friendship or relationship, or even family member, where I have had to tell them where they are on the priority list. Most of us would of course make a choice if let's say, our friend and partner were both drowning and we could only save one, but we don't have to make those choices on a regular basis.
I treat all the people in my life with love and respect. I don't make my friend wait an hour for me while I chat with my partner, and I don't make my partner feel like he isn't a priority. I make plans with everyone I want to, and sometimes that means saying no to my friend as I already have plans, or it means saying no to my partner. I don't have to “prioritize” anyone, I just act like a decent human.
Just break up. You are only 4 months in and this guy is letting you know he doesn't value your time (rude to make you wait an hour) and has for no reason at all, felt the need to tell you that you are lower on the priority list than his friend. Listen, we all know in our hearts who we value more if we HAD to decide (work over a friend's party, seeing your boyfriend over going to a family function) but we don't need to say it out loud.
Because he’s talked about it before.
You don't get it.. and you never would, you're prejudging and you don't know the half of it, I'm deleting this shit and dealing with it on my own
It sounds way more like SA than cheating to me. Horrible that this guy would take advantage of her like that.
Keep in mind that you only have this guys account of what happened, and if I were to guess I bet he made himself sound better in the retelling. You don’t even know if she was conscious while this was all happening.
I am glad she has stopped drinking though.
My birthday was the last straw, because all I wanted was to go out to dinner. It was “it's all about you” Well yes, on a birthday, it's supposed to be
The choice is yours you have to choose.
Yeah I'm not saying EVERY age-gap relationship is bad but a lot of them are sadly. But the age gap isn't really the main thing here 'cause I'd still be saying the same thing even if you were the same age as him: the real issue is that your bf is an immature man-child who just wants a bang maid.