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If you can talk about that, you can ask about condoms. I would just say something like:
“Hey, so my overly-observant self noticed your condom stash looks like it shrunk. And since we dont use them…Care to ease my mind on where they went before my brain starts to jump to worrisome conclusions?”
My brain can over-think LOTS of things…so this would sound totally natural and not at all accusatory if I were to say it. But yeah, just ask. Preferably before you get too worried about it.
She’s a terrible person.
Girl, she tried to steal your man.
In front of you.
The only contact you should have with her is your foot on her ass yeeting her on a one way trip out of your friendship, for good.
You have to speak up. Don't be miserable to make a man happy.
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Perfect time to babytrap him and force him to work himself to death for her.
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Sorry but your not his teacher and he isn’t your problem. Woman always feel bad for letting men down and not fixing them. It isn’t your problem. Answer a few questions
Would you feel comfortable walking around him naked? Would you feel comfortable if you both were drunk and he wanted sex? Are you sure he’d respect your no? Do you feel bad about the relationship potentially ending because you can’t help him Or because you feel like your 100% compatible except for this?
Also, has he ever had sex?
I mean if she can't respect you as her equal partner I'd let her go too.
Setting boundaries in a relationship is for the couple to decide, one doesn't get to say “this is a boundary” and the other than has no choice in the matter.
Maybe it's the long distance. I don;t know
You need to just open up your heart to her and tell her how you feel. Don’t play games (playing naked to get etc) Be open. You also need to allow her to go where she wants with whomever she wants, it is her freedom to do so but she needs to know where she stands with you and that you do love her so she can make a more informed choice going forward. Then it is up to her and you need to respect her response , and if she’s not ready to take that chance you need to respect that and back off.
Over a year into the relationship.
The problem is your GF. She has no healthy boundaries and you said she has problems making friends, so she is willing to keep any “friends” even if toxic.
I don't see how asking her to cut them will make things better, since she'll make more toxic friends and then again, you'll have to cut them. You put your boundaries about the kiss chat, but she didn't follow through. She didn't see them but rather than realizing it was the right choice, she threw you under the bus and it's like you made the decision (which she disagreed with but was following).
Every boundary decision was made by you and she went with it. She is a grown woman who should be making better decisions, but she doesn't. At this stage, you shouldn't be the one having to tell her what to do. None of the boundaries you established were unreasonable and they should have been obvious to her! Kiss chat. No. Lingerie. No. Sending hateful messages to you. No! Left in the middle of a date to save her DnD character (obviously the couple knew and called her on purpose). No!
Your GF is the problem. I don't know. She needs extensive therapy or a reality check or it's a lost cause.
Bruh just save yourself the headache and pain.
Just break up
I guess that’s a fair point. It’s not a stranger. I guess if I were the one who was oblivious and a mutual friend was carrying on with my partner then I’d want to know.
Yeah. I’d want to know.
She adopted the cat unaware of its special needs. The cat has a complex medical situation causing her allergies to worsen. That doesn't make her a bad person. What makes her (and OP) bad people is ignoring the situation and just keeping the cone on.
It sounds like she wants to re-home the cat. OP is keeping the cat instead, so it's his cat. She shouldn't be responsible for the bills for OP's cat beyond what she would pay to re-home it.
I doubt it was the first time he ever did it. Just likely the first time he happened to be caught.
Technically, she’s an adult and you could help her. If anything got too bad she could come and stay with you and move out on her own. I had to do that when I was very young. I would keep in contact with her and as long as she’s not physically in danger,
I would help her plan her future to where she goes next help her determine how to find work or go to school help her make her steps forward as you do that later you can offer her therapy if you would like to but right now I would try to get her out of that house either by going to school or getting through to prepare for some thing she can do to make money.
If you dont set boundries now ,it will be bad for you and him. Cause he never learns that in a relationship you arent always in eachothers arms or working.
dont mask it tell it straight up , men dont see hints
He's even started telling me to make him food/snacks
This was your warning.
You need to leave. He's showing you who he really is – a sexist looking for a bangmaid
Ain't that simple
But you've clearly never followed through and actually planned a trip with him and gone together. Why not? Are you expecting him to do so, while you begrudgingly attend the “compromise” trip you're clearly resentful to have been dragged on?
If you're genuinely willing to reduce your solo trips to every other month, why don't you make the very obvious compromise of inviting him on your trips 6x/year and going on the trips solo 6x/year? Why are you so against the idea of letting him come with you? The fact that you insist on him planning different trips rather than joining you glamping even a single time in 2 years probably comes off to your boyfriend as if you think he's so horrible that he would completely ruin your “happy place” and you can't let him ruin it by joining you even once.
Honestly, the fact that you even consider it a huge compromise that you agreed to call your boyfriend for a few minutes before bed and that you finally agreed to go on trips with your boyfriend once in a while after many fights is a huge glaring red flag to me. It shows that something is either wrong in your relationship such that you're not really happy with him and need very regular alone time away from him in order to be happy, or you're just not compatible at all. Actually, either way, you're not compatible at all.
Most happy couples who enjoy traveling or getting away for the weekend, which you clearly do, would love to travel with their partner some weekends if they could. Viewing this as a huge compromise on your end is bonkers to me.
Don’t. Go. Get out.
What you see as her power, I see as your boyfriend trying to protect your feelings.
Seriously?? The boyfriend who responded to this girl propositioning him with “yes, whenever you want” is interested in protecting her feelings?
I think there was some confusion in my wording. I sent him multiple texts at once: one asking him how his morning was going, and another telling him about the grapes. Yes I do ask him questions about himself, we used to text back and forth with multiple messages but now he doesn’t answer the questions I ask.
Perfect is now. There is no, “it would be perfect if only X,Y,Z.”
There is somebody who wants to be committed to you as you are right now, and you're wasting time parking your butt with a guy who doesn't.
One day, God willing, you're going to be 63 or 4, and you will have had 20 years with the right person, And you will just shake your head at how easy it is with the right person and how naked you worked to put a square peg into a round hole.
The bf is gay, he has a boyfriend too and op is his beard. He is not a clueless victim
Girl, just talk to him. I don’t know how has this became a thing where partners can’t just point blank talk about shit. It can be good and bad but the point of being partners is talk it out. It is to the point we have to doubt our gut instincts and try our hardest to convince ourselves at times that there’s no need to talk it’s just me. But his job is to help clear doubts to strengthen and maintain the trust. Obviously you’d not go guns blazing but he has been dishonest in how the interactions has been with this Claire. So whatever it is something to worry about or not, talking about this is the right thing.