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You just learned why you should not buy a house unless you are married. Can you go ahead and buy it without him? Cause then you have a house – bonus! – and lose a jerk. Also bonus.
I don’t even have to read the post to say leave the fucker.
He did delete everything after she saw it
We married in February after only dating for a few months and this year has been amazing!!
Except for the fact that he is apparently involved with someone else. It takes time to get to really know someone. Maybe next time slow down and enjoy the ride of getting to know someone and avoid having to say “I just feel all alone and it’s a horrible feeling.”
Are you a troll?
I mean mistreating someone who looks to you for love, acceptance, and support is a guaranteed way to kill their confidence, dude. If you'd like a gentle relationship with someone, be gentle??? If you want your girlfriend to know her worth and be more confident, maybe try boosting her confidence more, and teaching her how to be more confident, and realize that THE WAY YOU TREAT SOMEONE SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU THINK THEY'RE WORTH You can't say you love someone and then show them the opposite. People who lack confidence are usually scared to try or make decisions choices or they feel defeated unheard etc
Not saying she does feel those things and I'm sure there are things she could do to improve the relationship as well and ultimately she is the only one who gets to decide the kind of person she wants to be and I think both of you would benefit from therapy
This is coming from a 28f who's dealt with similar shit in a couple wild and toxic relationships/working on coping w/ the physical stuff as well and therapy seems to help
I guess what I was getting at originally just to sum this all up and put it into one stupid, simple lil saying is this:
Stop crashing your Tesla and you won't have to ride the bus as much ??‍♀️
FWBs don't last. If you're just upset you lost a sex buddy, there's not much you can do. If you do however have feelings for her (which, tbh I doubt if you're still happy to sleep with other people while she takes some space), then wait for her, because it's the respectful thing to do if you really want things to work out.
I can overpower the guy if it ever need to be.
OP… she is NOT THINKING ABOUT HER KIDS OR BEING RESPONSIBLE! I am honestly more disappointed in you that you will not do the right thing. This “friend” has crossed a line and is starting to exhibit predatory behaviors or manipulations to get what she wants. You tell and it take a lot more for CPS to generally take kids away. If they are, then there was more going on than you knew
It’s not going to be easy, trying to stop yourself from comparing to others will be very hot. But she chose you. Did she communicate to you that she wasn’t looking for anything serious? Did she say she just wanted to date around? If she didn’t say those things, then there’s a chance that she does want something serious. Again, she sees something in you. Just go with the flow and keep up the good work.
Is your boyfriend six years old?!? Why are you ordering for him and taking him to the bathroom?!?
You’re not his friggin Mommy.
Dump this loser.
Call the cops and only talk to these people with police or judge present.
He works construction- to reiterate he doesn’t pay for my school he just pays all the bills in the home we both live! in so I didn’t have to pay rent and such at my apartment
He was not cheating on you, you tool.
Also just saying I feel like it's a bit concerning that you're bf went to a football game and was supposed to come to dinner with your family but hasn't contacted you in 12 hours and missed dinner, and your reaction is straight to how could he do this to me?
Maybe because his phone location is showing at his friends house rather than the side of the road somewhere. Thats a pretty clear indication hesitate avoiding OP.
“I understand that you think our shared history entitles you to my friendship. However, I do not want to be friends. I want you to leave me alone.”
Not making any excuses. I'm trying to figure out what the issue and the dymamic is here.
It kind of sounds like OP has presented herself as an organizer and someone who enjoys hosting (and all that goes along with that), when in reality she's not onro taking care of her man that way. But I could be misinterpreting the situation entirely, we have very little info.
Agreed.
That doesn't absolve the op of probably trolling and/or karma farming, tho.
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« An old man is telling me what I can or cannot do with my body because he thinks I’m very hot. What should I do? Such confusion. »
Bruh.
End this relationship now. It'll hurt, but it will hurt a lot less than staying together and then getting dumped and possibly exposed to an STD when he inevitably cheats.
So, my partner and I are both in our 40s now. I have kids, he doesn't. He has friends and family members with serious health issues and he is active in helping them.
He also values our relationship and chooses not to withdraw when things are difficult, even when that would be his natural tendency.
Your boyfriend has shown that his tendency is to withdraw and isolate from you during stressful times, rather than seek support and maintain the connection. That does not bode well for your future happiness, I'm afraid.
Whether or not this relationship is going to happen long term, your priority list for decisions needs to change. “Keep this relationship” cannot be your top priority. Your children's well being and your own come first. Rushing and scrambling to move when you're not ready does not sound like it's in anyone's best interest. Let him do his thing. You need to do yours. It may or may it not lead you back to him, but taking your time and handling this move more carefully and slowly will reduce the stress you're under, which will be good for you and the kids.
About my husband, I don’t agree with him. I don’t want him to abandon our daughter especially on her big day. She is hurting and hurting her even more isn’t the solution
He wouldn't be abandoning your daughter, he'd be standing up for his wife. I sure as shit wouldn't show up to my daughter's wedding, let alone walk her down the aisle if she was excluding my partner and her mother.
You are making too many excuses for your daughter. Or you're leaving out some key details.
If I were you, I'd have your husband call the fiancé and tell him why he won't be attending nor walking your daughter down the aisle. Even if it's only a bluff.
Ya you are using her for mental and emotional support. You are nothing but a parasite. She's lucky to not marry you.
No, son mormones. Siguen las normas y su iglesia es la de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Ăšltimos DĂas.
If you actually have an issue with that, you should press her on it. Don’t bring up this whole “I did this so you should do this” thing, but just tell her how it makes you feel that she still has him added. Be vulnerable. If she’s not able to remove him after that, then you should reconsider the relationship lease or not. Breaking a lease before you move in together is way easier than after.
That being said, the way you brought it up in your post makes it seem like you didn’t care about her having the ex added. You see it as a double standard now that she’s asked you to remove someone you slept with, but had she not asked that it wouldn’t be an issue. It’s okay if it is now and if your feelings changed, but it shouldn’t just be because you want it to be even. I do get not being okay with it though, I don’t think I would be either, you just need to understand your motivations and make sure you’re asking her to do it for the right reason.
Also, never ever call someone else’s feelings an overreaction ever again. It doesn’t matter if it factually is, it never ends well, never fixes things, and almost always makes them worse. Especially in a relationship. I’ve cried about dropping a piece of toast before, definitely an overreaction. If my partner told me I was overreacting, or even said it now later, I would be pissed. If their reaction seems strong to you, it’s probably because it’s important to them or because they’re dealing with something and they deserve empathy and support, especially from a partner.
Also, while you’re at it stop talking about your previous sex lives. In my experience there’s literally no benefit. Best case scenario the other person thinks your story is a little funny, worst case scenario it starts a huge fight or breakup. You can talk about dates and such, but sex with other people almost never goes over great. I would just stop bringing it up.
This is the right decision. You are going to feel light as a feather after you leave him.
Yes it's long distance
Get out of that relationship NOW. Understand you are not his girlfriend anymore!
I was the same way. I wanted a boy so bad that I was a little heartbroken when we found out it was a girl. My wife was afraid I wouldn't love her like a proper dad should because I was disappointed in having a girl.
When she was born(there was a lot of trauma during the birth) and the doctor handed her to the nurse to get a thorough check out and get her cleaned up. Then they finally said after what seemed like an eternity ( probably 5 minutes) to come over and meet her. When I looked down at our beautiful baby and reached down to touch her, she grabbed my finger and held on tight. My heart just completely melted and I started low key crying that I was a dad to this beautiful girl. She became my best pal and we did everything together. She now lives across the country but flies home for us to go to football games or whatever.
After her birth, it changed my whole outlook on having kids. While I did want to have a boy, we ended up with 3 girls and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Some guys will have a preconceived notion about what they want out of parenthood, but that is all erased when the kids show up and steal your heart.
And if you don't break up, you'll be with a cheater the rest of your life. Enjoy!
At some point, when you're far enough away from this guy emotionally to see it, you'll truly believe what everyone in this thread is telling you, and it will like a blindfold falling from your eyes.
Yeah, no. This is not about you. If it were he should have said something a long time ago. This is about him lying about another woman and sneaking around with her behind your back.
I would take a few days to yourself to process this. If he’s not physical with her I might consider trying to salvage the relationship but don’t make that call right away while things are raw. If you still fill weird about it after a few days it may be time to move on.
You're a bitch who blames other people for your lack of control and use the spectrum as a reason to be a shitty partner. Kudos.
Thanks. Sorry to clarify, are you saying that no contact is reasonable right now?
For full context, we need to know what the “personal issues” were that caused you to break up in the first place.
!remindme 2 weeks
Pay attention to what she does, not just what she says. Words don't mean much if the actions are the opposite.
Just gonna upvote this cuz this is about as pleasant as I would get
My man's 24 and not getting any sex.
What's the point of being in your 20s at all?
You definitely shouldn't tell him. That's very disrespectful to his relationship and he and his girlfriend could rightfully be upset with you.
There's nothing for you to apologise for as you haven't done anything wrong. I know it might be difficult but trying to distance yourself is a much better plan than this.
Maybe he was looking for an excuse to break up?
A 10-20% is a no. She’s trying to be kind. She does not want children. She’s 35 years old and wants a 8 year IUD so she doesn’t have to worry about becoming pregnant. She doesn’t want children. You do. You’re at a crossroads. Children are amazing. And you should be with someone who wants them. And she shouldn’t be pressured into changing her mind if she’s content childless.
She's actually very hot? Like boobie? Pfaff?
​
Actual nudity is actually terrible, lol dude, I'm sorry. Don't bring it up with her, bring it up with HIM.
Found 70 deleted messages this way. Husband of 7 years and 2 kids. I feel apple probably revealed thousands of affairs with this update
OP is it a common occurrence for your husband to act first and think later?
I mean that’s exactly the thing right. I don’t have a kid and I would very much like to not be surprised with a kid especially if I am forming a connection with someone.
You want to date for fun, you want to keep the kid hidden for a long time, sure that’s on you but damn, y’all really out here going out on dates every night stringing along people. Like I feel that’s too much. Spend that time raising the kid instead of going out on dates with people you don’t want to keep in your life for long.
She should of send out a warning before she fuck her sisters man;)
Jfc get your head out of your ass. This man is dangerous. You need to leave.
Only you can determine if you want to stay in your marriage. But you need to confront her asap. And you also need to send the info to your friends wife. She needs to be able to make an informed decision about her future.
Don't worry if she gets upset that you saw her messages. Just tell her in no uncertain terms does she get to be the one that is mad. I would probably determine my future with her based on her reaction to your discussion. Don't rug sweep this. That would be the worst thing you could do.
Why is your wife not considered your best friend? You married her, you made children with her, dude, why are you not getting a babysitter and taking your wife to the museum for lunch?
It will only hurt you if you find out.
This says far more than anything else
If she wouldn’t do that, why would she speak of it as a reasonable scenario? If this was me, the conversation would go like this:
“You will NOT believe this! [Name] is now suggesting we go on vacation together. This is getting out of hand!”
Which actually brings me to believe that he’s talking to him and spending way more time than she leads on. Unless the guy is completely unhinged or a borderline stalker, he shouldn’t feel so comfortable with her to suggest extended periods of 121 time.
Autism is not about being aggressive.
Syndrome de la Tourette would be a far better pretext.
I don't understand why you want the “relationship.” She is demanding, ungrateful, manipulative, and controlling. She is using you, and you let her. She's not grateful. She's entitled. You'd have to change her entire personality to get what you want.
I would have called him insecure and such, but he did ask you NOT to tell him because he didn't want to know. For that, the wrong is on you OP. You pushed forward and didn't respect his wish here at all. When it comes to past partners, often insecurities shows or just bad experiences. Even if his count is less, I don't think it's the issue here. He doesn't want to compare and you actually forced this upon him.
You need to apologize to your bf and actually learn to respect him and his feelings. This was something you could avoid and you created an issue because?
OP, this has MURDER SUICIDE written all over it.
Leave him now and don't tell him.
Sounds like a very ignorant way of thinking.
Blah blah blah. All men are exactly the same. Blah blah blah. All women are exactly the same. Blah blah blah.
Are there issues? Yes. Will it ever be 100% fixed? No. Is it the same way for every man and woman on this planet? No.
As I stated beforehand, seeking professional help is not an option for me as I can't afford. My partner and I have been together for years and I've only really noticed the jealousy kick in more since I had something like ROCD
LOL, Your GF was right on the money for calling you out and if you dont agree with the truth, than you can take your “rightful Opinions and beliefs” and move along down the road.
LDR
LDR meaning? Also we have met. After speaking for a few months we decided to meet and spent 5 days together, it was amazing.
I had this.
I had a female best friend. I was there for her for 30 years. Through multiple marriages and boyfriends. We had our chances to date but we never did. When I say we were close I can tell you I was the one called by the police the night husband number 2 beat her up. I also told her when she was 20 not to marry husband number 1. He treated her badly too. When I told her she went mad at me in the pub. She shouted at me in public.
When she met husband 3 I told her my time was done. I don’t speak to her anymore and I don’t have any contact with her. It was my choice. Yes I loved her and yes I suppose I would have married her. But I married my beautiful wife and I didn’t feel there was a place in my heart for two ladies.
For me it’s clear your friend loves you and I expect he said something to your fiancé and it backfired.
It’s not easy being a man and having a female friend. These has to be some attraction in many cases and if your friend is with a man that you don’t like then it can cause friction. You may not see it but that friction can bubble and simmer. Sadly.
You are 100% in the right. No need for free drama, block her and move on. And if any of your “friends” pester yu about it, apply the same treatment and keep moving on.
Burning down your house because of a spider that used to be there before you owned it
Not even that. What a meh story is that?! Yuk.
UpdateMe!
If marriage is what you want, break up with him. He doesn't believe in marrying you. Find someone who does.
thank you for the kind comment and advice
You’re absolutely right. I am a political science grad and read about politics all the time. If you went to CNN website right now there’s probably 40 or so headlines on the main page. I’d wager 99% of them are negative. These news networks work off profits so they show what people think they want to hear. But it’s all negative and depressing.
There’s a lot of good that happens in the world, but the news doesn’t report on it.
Just tell him to stop talking about it all the time. You don’t mind hearing the occasional thing but to be drowned in negativity is annoying when mental health is a real thing.
He either respects your wishes or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, just walk away from him. You don’t have to turn miserable but just show him you aren’t going to play that game.
You talk about your boyfriend like he’s just a friend. Do the guy a favor and break up with him
If the problem is lack of quality time together, solve that problem. Introducing other people runs away from that problem, likely worsens it.
So, partners should support each other. Ideally, his response to you working very hot in school and being busy with studying should not be, whine, I'm not having enough sex, let's open up the relationship. Especially knowing that due to how busy you are and your anxiety, you probably won't even act on it. He isn't being a good partner. So, you can talk to him about that, or you can use this opportunity to continue being in the relationship, while also being open to finding someone who has similar work ethic and integrity as yourself, and maybe moving on in the future. Because it sounds like you would like Monogamy, which is fine. You aren't denying him anything with having 2-3 times a week. He is being very needy.
You need to open your eyes and understand someone who loves you and genuinely cares about you won’t make you feel the ways you have described. A person who doesn’t respect the other will never give them closure or tell them they aren’t their priority.
It’s important you understand this and read between the lines. If you’re not their priority, you’re simply an option.
Doesn’t matter. If you gotta go and there’s a shot, you go. Doesn’t matter if you think you can. You got all right to be annoyed
You are both exhausted, he needs to find work with no mandatory overwork, or you need to have more help around the house like a sitter during a few days so that you can get stuff done or a cleaner while you go to the park. You have to talk about this and work through this. Or not, but to not try and give up is a shame for your kids.