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Buy house where you are. Renovate the other one and rent it out till your ready to move there?
As a broken adult who does thus, she's been repressing emotions. Like holding in a fart and you made her laugh.
Domestic partnerships are marriage by another name. My point still holds that a legal arrangement has been entered into by the involved parties.
Insurance with named beneficiaries is a different beast and I made no mention of that.
There doesn't seem to be any harm in this…they are just enjoying each other company.
Yeah I understand this, but during this particular situation I was sitting on the toilet and honestly didn't want to be bothered. I just don't get why its my job to make her feel good in her clothes.
He didn’t suddenly catch feelings again. He never stopped.
Time to distance yourself. He can’t be friends with you so you’re going to have to break off the friendship.
And then it always happens again.
She was indeed upfront about not wanting an exclusive relationship, emotional or otherwise. Credit to her for that. The problem is that I *was* an option to hook up with before we both went out of town. We had a date scheduled at my place with heavy implications of a hookup going down, and she canceled it a few hours before she was going to come.
“Most likely, she wanted to have sex and it was offered to her by someone attractive, so why would she turn it down?”
I hope that I am someone who she finds attractive, but she still turned me down. Why didn't she turn the other guy down?
I asked her why she didn't hookup with me, and did hookup with the other guy (after asking her as politely as I could why she would share what she did with me, and how she thought it would make me feel). She told me that she was looking for just a hookup, and she saw me as more than that. Your reply echos some similar logic.
Here is where I'm stuck. I could never think that way. If an attractive female friend wanted to “just hookup” with me, I would be over the moon. The idea of *more than a hookup* implies to me that someone is at least good enough for a hookup. I feel like this is just an excuse to try to make me feel better and try to make this not feel like a big issue for me.
Because I'm stuck here, I'm also stuck with feelings of inferiority to whoever this guy was or being her 2nd choice. (Maybe this guy was a 6'5 professional athlete who fucks a new tinder date every week and had no intention of dating my gf)
tldr; I don't resonate with the *more than a hookup* idea, even though both my gf and you see reason in it. My guy friends who I have talked to, and most importantly myself, would never *ever* in a million years pass on a hookup with someone who we saw as more than a hookup. Now I don't know how to feel better. Is *more than a hookup* a real concept for women? Because none of my guy friends seem to think it's real.
Have you thought about couples therapy? Because resolving this will be a process, not a light bulb going off.
First thing to do is get yourself tested for STIs. End the relationship with this cheater, move out on your own. BLOCK him everywhere and move on. Do some reading on healthy relationships, setting/enforcing healthy boundaries.
No dear, this is an engagement ring, not costume jewelry. She chose the second one herself, end of. But from your comment to AussieBP, I’d take a serious look at the relationship itself.