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it's this mindset that's toxic af. Have some self-awareness before posting something like this.
You both handled this appropriately so it's time to move on. Get help with those issues if you feel it hurt your relationship.
Have you read John Green’s Turtles All the Way Down?
Yes, and we can discuss “where to from here” without insinuating that the concerns OP has about the different decisions = OP thinks it's “acceptable” for their friend to give the dude an incurable disease. Like come on, that's not helpful. That's not being said out of actual concern for the dude. It's turning this thread into an AITA vote.
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Why would you want to be with someone who is biphobic and doesn't accept you as you are? Please respect yourself.
Please read the sub rules before posting.
The fuck is he on about?
If he succeeds in ending his life, it is absolutely nothing to do with you at all, it’s manipulation in the highest degree.
You shouldn’t have to give up your life and your happiness just because he doesn’t have the emotional strength to not be a scum bag and deal with that.
no need. block the whole family on everything
I agree…even if not adults…it's not bad talking about the parent. Just informing and moving my on the best we can etc.
I still don't understand how children are so invested in someone else's marriage, even their parents. My dad always taught me his marriage to his wife, my mom, has nothing to do with his relationship with his daughters or our relationship with our mother. It's his marriage. Also, we all know that parents are only as happy as their saddest child and children are only as happy as their saddest parent. Therefore, the kids already know mom and dad aren't happy together. We think we can hid things in a family…but kids are not that oblivious.
OP ffs his idea of communication at least partially involves physical abuse and THREATENING TO KILL YOU BY NEARLY CRASHING THE CAR. EVEN IF HE “didn't crash tho” HE WAS IN A STATE WHERE HIS REFLEXES WERE IMPAIRED.
That's just when he was “upset” at something probably less minor than a break up. Do you really think he wouldn't escalate accordingly? Move any belongings you care about away from his, and bring a buddy while you're doing it so there's witnesses. Safety in numbers. Don't get yourself killed over being the “bigger person”
Well grow a backbone and lay down some boundaries you both can agree too. If she can’t compromise then break up and move on. Whining and sounding helpless isn’t gonna help her respect you more.
People can't get anything off my phone.. not even my email. I don't feel the need to have my life on my phone. Just call, texts, takeing pics and browsing Reddt
The solution to the last name issue that you guys chose is great and, to my understanding, in Sweden (and I'm guessing elsewhere, just heard this from my Swedish uncle) it's actually an increasingly popular thing to do.
As far as FIL goes, it's really unfortunate, but he's giving you absolutely no indication he even wants to talk to you, so I don't advise making any efforts on your side. My best guess of his thought process is that, by not doing the “normal” thing of having your son be his last name, you are choosing to diminish his claim on him as grandfather, something along those lines. Maybe he'll come around eventually and it's up to you if you guys want him back in your lives (with a good apology, of course).
I agree with others who've said that giving in is the last thing to do and will just result in him trying to dominate over all of your decisions.
Idk but if I were you I wouldn't be able to not find out especially based on the whole “if he found someone with this attribute, everything else about them probably would not be attractive”.
How much damage would that do to her kids?
Realistically, probably not much. Her kid already has a father that is involved in his life, so the child doesn't necessarily need to have a third full-time parent.
Honestly, I've read lots of posts on Reddit about stepparents that tried to be too involved in their step child's life and ended up ruining the relationship. I don't know if I've read any cases of a stepfather that took a major back seat in parenting and that caused issues with the kid.
All that said, I don't blame the mom, if that's not what she wanted in a relationship but I don't believe that OP having a weekend to himself would ever be detrimental for the kid.
She needs to address this in her therapy ASAP, and you should never, ever, ever do what she asked you to do. She’s still struggling to come to terms with what happened to her.
For now just show your love for her, care for her, and make sure she continues to get therapy.
“I wish he was supportive and proud instead” oh I’m sorry he’s not following the script you had for him that he had no clue about. People aren’t going to fall to their knees because you volunteer. Listen to your partner you selfish person. Yes selfish because you fail to consider how traumatized he’d be if you were murdered or worse and he didn’t stop you. Thank your stars that someone in this world tolerates this level of stupidity.
Because I'd want to know if my future wifes face and body were plastered all over the internet for eternity getting railed by dudes. It's also difficult on children in the future if anyone was to find that out. Personally, it'd be information that would make me nope the fuck out of the relationship.
OP mentioning cleaning supplies as one of their major contributions makes me mighty suspicious too.
We are sexual, just not having actual penetrative sex,
Yeah, that's called cherry-picking. Just because there wasn't any PIV doesn't mean you're still a virgin….else homosexual people would be virgins for life.
and we know we’re definitely compatible
Given the situation you wrote about, there clearly are issues.
The chemistry is very strong. Like I said, our relationship is perfect, no major issues. It’s just the porn, and my concern over it.
Porn and sexual views can be a major issue.
We’re definitely not rushing into anything. Getting married young isn’t always an indicator of that.
You're 21 and have only been dating for 1.5 years….that's rushing for most. You barely made it out of the honeymoon stage.
He had gfs in the past he had sexual relationships with; none of them he knew he wanted to marry. We have the same goals, same values, and we respect each other. It makes us a great team, and our families support us and our endeavors to raise a family.
Sure, but in a few years, things might be completely different since you're still growing up. Looking at statistics, most people who marry
I left because of my kids. I couldn’t raise them believing it was okay to treat anyone as I was being treated. Best decision ever.
Right, I hate those memes and videos about how husbands/dads are so fun and carefree and wives/moms are naggy worrywarts.
Those men GET to be carefree because there is someone doing all the worry work for them!
Being a free spirit is a privilege.
I asked my boyfriend yesterday if he would ever consider swinging. I have no interest, I was just wasting time on Reddit and found the swinging subreddit and read a few posts.
Sometimes people ask questions with no reason.
Sounds like it's done my dude. Pick yourself up and move on.
I like the idea of saying something but keeping it vague. A little mental torture is good here. If you tell her you actually know you shift things into a different mode completely and while yes, right now you're figuring things out, you should get your ducks completely in a row before you explode things.