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thats what i’ve heard but he says he’s read articles and such on it and it’s really 50-50 on whether it’s actually reversible
I think his vagueness as to what was actually said and their actual division of labor is a red flag. I think that since she didn't work, or hasn't been working while pregnant, he expected her to do everything. I think that she expects a more equal distribution of chores in future since she probably anticipates doing most of the childcare. This is what I think the issue is. He doesn't see why he should have to do more than he did before she got pregnant.
CPS will get involved, but that’s a good thing. They will help you remove the both of you from this situation. If you can get your husband to acknowledge what he’s done over text, this will help ensure it goes your way.
Don’t trust someone who you’ve never known to be trustworthy
I would have gone for a NO, without discussion. When my wife had fit of rage, I don't replace what she break. We have a wood plank for an inner window for more than 10 years. I can point to it everytime she deny having fit of rage.
The fact that you are asking internet strangers how to talk to the person you've been with for 10 years says a lot.
Do you two talk outside of couples counseling? Do you go out on dates or spend time together? Really, the right time to do it is as soon as possible. There is no way to really soften the blow.
Things you could do. Ask her if she is happy with how things are. Ask her if she still wants to get married. If she says yes, ask her why. Find out why she still wants to be with you. If she agrees that she is unhappy, just tell her that you don't think it makes sense that you two marry for the sake of marrying.
Stress to her that you want to focus on being good co-parents and that you have no intention of abandoning the child or leaving her with all the childcare.
Tell her that instead of spending effort planning a wedding that it seems neither of you are really into, it makes more sense to put your energies toward figuring out how to be good co-parents. And becoming friends again.
Tell her what you want. Ask her what she really wants. Listen to her. Be honest with her that you don't even know how to talk to her about really important things right now and that is a big problem.
It really sounds like one of the biggest things is that you two don't know how to talk to each other. Your post seems completely blank in terms of you having any idea what she thinks or feels about any of this. It also could be that she has checked out of the relationship for reasons you don't know. You've been together since you were kids. It's difficult to make that transition when people grow into adults in different ways. Also, sometimes these relationships keep us from growing, especially when we keep childish patterns in our relationships where we use passive-aggressiveness and teasing instead of just coming out and saying what we want, feel and mean. I hope you can start talking to each other for real. Make sure you really hear what she has to say. She may be becoming a different person than the one you think you've known.
There’s a thread up now of a screenshot of all the rejection based murder headlines that have happened this year
It took like four screenshots to fit them all. 111 headlines, many of them multiple people being murdered.
It’s a genuine fear that has basis in fact, sadly
Welp good luck keeping a bf with that girl around you.
Do you really think he is ever going to meet her in real life? Does he private message her on any platforms? Are his comments on her posts inappropriate? If you answered yes to these three questions you might have to worry. This is a life lesson for you don't ask stupid questions that will make you doubt. You don't want to know what he spanked it to before you. I'm sure now you are together he is happy with you and he let that fantasy go. Which is why he felt comfortable enough to tell you about it.
All these therapists who only have one side of the story! Yes, the way your wife handles conflict is a problem but trying to find answers when she is feeling depressed or anxious probably won't be successful. Just give her some space, enjoy yourself alone, and when you get back to shore look for a couples counselor that can help the two of you learn how to communicate.
She thinks she is communicating her needs, for example her need for alone time, and you think you're communicating your needs, the need to understand her. But neither of you are getting your needs met, nor are you understanding each other.
For now give her her space, enjoy yourself, let her know that you're willing to talk when she's ready.
If she went back because she was afraid for her friends, wouldn’t she have wanted to text you to tell you where she was in case something went bad? She said she knew you’d be upset- that means she knew you’d disapprove. She has trouble setting appropriate boundaries and alcohol seems a common thread- so she regularly goes out drinking and dances with other guys when you’re not there? She’s 36, not 17. At a minimum she is extraordinarily immature. You’re better off alone