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Birth Date: 1995-07-03
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I did urge him to do freelance last month but he said that it takes too long to get one. I kind of get passive with this issue because I really don’t want to say the wrong things.
Are you hoping to get different advice from the last two or three times this has been posted?
He doesn't have boundaries because you aren't setting any.
He doesn't get to “keep asking” until you have sex, that's coercion. Coercion is not consent. Not consent = rape.
Tell him to take a fucking hike. With the next guy set boundaries and if they try to cross them, shoot it right down
Oh, this goes much deeper than the sweater. Your current wife has some serious issues with your previous relationship. Why is that? What has happened before that she (right or wrong) has seen as inappropriate?
I already read some good advices here for your PE issue so I won’t add anything new.
Regarding your wife laughing at your biggest insecurity, you have to ask yourself if she was laughing exactly at your insecurity or laughing because of the way you are reacting to your own insecurity – which is very different. The former would mean that your wife is mean to you and disrespectful (which I don’t believe otherwise she wouldn’t be with you 8 years!). If it was the latter, then it makes more sense to me. Imagine this: your wife is absolutely flat and has no boobs. She then tells you she bought a book to learn how to pump her boobs while you both are commuting. Can’t you see this could be funny? Being funny doesn’t mean disrespectful. That’s why you have to understand very well your wife. I guess most likely she was the former. So you shouldn’t be upset or angry.
Of course she laughed, and no she’s not laughing at your problem. She’s laughing because her obsessive husband thought that after 8 years she needed to be told something she already knew, and like you said she’d never heard the phrases you used. Most people would laugh at that. You need to get a grip.
Have you actually spoken to a doctor about this or are you one of those annoying people that just Google’s their symptoms and assumes they have all the info they need?
It’s a bit concerning that your wife jumped straight to guilt tripping you when you didn’t accept her apology, and you might want to raise that with her at a later date, but I can also see why she got annoyed – why would you start someone’s day off on such a negative note so that when they get to work, that’s what they’re thinking about all day? Jesus dude again get a grip. This is the sort of thing you talk about after work, in a safe space like your living room. Not in a moving vehicle before work.
Lives alone and no he’s never lived with a woman
It already is a big problem. If he feels the need to hide it and lie about it, he already needs a lot of help. And you’re trying, but it seems like you probably can’t handle it alone. Talk to him one more time about if he’s serious about cutting back. And if he is, get him into AA
Is someone cleaning the cat box daily? Does the cat bury his poops? My housemate has a cat with rancid poops that she refuses to bury so we use the litter scooper and bury it for her to get rid of the scent. If you wake up to a “surprise” in the morning, leave it for your partner to clean; just because the mess is there doesn’t mean you have to clean it. I will say though, while the medications help him be “stable”, it worries me that he has to be force-fed multiple times a day. 🙁
Thanks for the reply, this is usually my plan because I am not perfect and have had to work on a lot of stuff and in general just mature and in a long term relationship that start when we were young I think its normal to have to keep working on stuff. I definitely want to keep working on letting things go and anger.
You broke up with her and now for the first time in her adult life she is able to spread her wings and see where they take her.
As others here have said, you broke up with her so if you have any regrets, they are your regrets and not hers. She is no longer in your life so you'll just have to get used to the fact that her life is no her own.
I'm sure she isn't the least bit concerned about what you do in your life.
Right? So now he'll buy her a shit ton of stuff for her birthday and when he reminds her about all these gifts he's supposed to be getting, she'll toss him a $5 McDonald's gift card.
Jesus Christ…. He's clearly being disruptive and making people uncomfortable. I'm not being stuck up. Congratulations on being born “upper class European.” I grew up poor and in poverty; I don't try to “appear wealthy”. If my significant other acted like this, I would be appalled.
Girl no! LEAVE. If you stay I promise you gone be in for a wild ride and not a good one cause do you know how evil you have to be to go cheat on your SO and just do what you want but when they ready to leave you threaten to off yourself!?!? He’s not right in the head. It’s gonna get worse. I’d be getting out of there.
He told me he hasn’t slept with anyone (we hung out one night recently and it was seemingly obvious he hadn’t, and we fought the urge and did not sleep together). But I can see how anything is possible.
Music means a lot to mean, and it's different for everyone. We all have our passions and those are definitely something we (usually) want to share. I rarely share my love of space with my friends but I'd hold in in higher value with a girlfriend I have. Music is the same for me, kinda. In my last relationship i could barely share any of my songs which made me feel sad because that meant we couldn't really sing/rap together, i had to play down my excitement about some new song because i knew she wouldn't care or like it. For me, therefore, I'd really wanna have someone who shares the same music taste as me and who also loves space. But not every couple shares the same passions. If you are struggling to find anything in common I'd say that's a bad relationship but if you have 999 things in common and just that one thing isn't there, you can still function. The important thing to remember is you shouldn't ever feel so held back by your relationship. Or don't change who you are and what you like because of your partner. Maybe he'll never come around to your music, or maybe he will, but it'll probably be more natural on his own rather than you pushing it onto him. And if you have lots of other reasons to stay together then stay together. But if you decide this isn't for you and you wanna find someone with more things readily in common, then yeah go for it youre still young and there's magnitudes of people with your similar tastes
I’m not in the US. We are looking into it but it appears my income is too high for her to qualify for disability benefits in my country.
Her attitude is alarming she could easily fix this with some actual communication. She probably enjoys the rifts because it’s in her favor. Personally I wouldn’t enjoy being with someone who is ok with there family treating me this way.
She may get the idea when you break up with her. At then end of the day it’s been two years and it’s still get talked about. Ask yourself is this the family you want to marry into. Just remember when your wedding day happens it will be the joke they all love to tell. The sad part is your the joke to them
OP’s husband “I want to cheat on you, right in front of you, but I’m telling you about it beforehand, so its not actually cheating.”
OP reverse UNO!
Rooting for ya
I'm assuming this happened recently, like last night?
If that's the case, what I would do is send him one message in the morning saying you hope he has a good time at his event and apologize (if you think you need to) and tell him that you hope to hear from him after he's had some space to cool off.
It's simple enough that he knows you still want to continue on and shows that you thought of him and that you will respect it when he says he needs some space.
No one likes to feel suffocated or as if their partner doesn't respect a well-communicated need.
Even if it was a troll, it probably happened somewhere in the world and that‘s disgusting.
I think you should ask her if you can postpone the wedding until things improve and get to couples counseling. I went to couples counseling with a guy I had been dating for a year and was arguing with and we are now happily married for 5 years. I think your baby deserves one last try.
You want us to tell you how to persuade her to ‘let you’ show emotion, but you’re also saying you have spoken to her about this already and she won’t change.
What do you think we could say that you can’t or haven’t already??
Saying “I don’t see anything wrong with crying when I am remembering my dear friend ” ONCE should be enough for her to never behave like this again.
People are sometimes raised with different values, or strange ideas, but the brutal truth is if she respected you or loved you, she would have questioned her behaviour, if not her opinion, right away.
If she won’t listen you you – her partner, who is hurting – nothing we say can get her to listen either.
We CAN say you should get out of the relationship because it’s no way to online, unless you want to feel like you do know for the rest of your life. You are only 24. You have a world of opportunity and time to meet someone who doesn’t verbally and psychically assault you. This is a bad relationship. It will not get better, it will only get worse. Get out, because you deserve love and respect.
Losing someone, feeling pain, sorrow, sadness and loss are part of life – and I’m sorry to say they will all happen to you, many times. Can you seriously stand to spend the rest of your life with someone who will not be there for you through all of that? Or for their child?! And expect them to hide their emotions? Who lashes out when they don’t like a perfectly normal emotion? Who does not let someone react to even a sad movie?
This is a recipe for disaster, and statistically why many young men suffer mental health issues and resort to suicide. Nobody can contain their emotions indefinitely.
Humans – including men – cry for a reason. We evolved to cry because the act of crying is a mental reboot and a physical release. Ever heard of “crying yourself to sleep”, or wonder why you yawn when you cry?? It’s because it is soothing. Humans are designed to cry. If men were not supposed to cry, millions of years of evolution would have stopped them.
Seriously. Get out of this relationship. And run, don’t walk.
He raped you, and now despite you repeatedly telling him not to be recorded you during sex and I guarantee you he has deleted none of them.
Make him delete them, watch him do it and clear the cache, then kick him out of your life.
Absolutely. You do not owe her anything. Be a good person and let her down gently. Be the bigger person and give her that kindness that, apparently, she did not extend to you. You are older and wiser than she was when she hurt you. You got this.
You may think you didn't. But if you use the phrase you did, he will think you do
Yep they are… don't bother, just let them learn with time as they grow up, divorcing is not the end of the world, specially to young people without possessions yet.
She's not in love with you, just with your paycheck. She was using you for financial security. I'd say get a divorce now that you don't have assets to share with her She is the one not honoring her vows , for richer or poorer ” She hasn't even tried to get a job to help you
You need to get off the internet.
The dog has attacked 3 animals before even living with you, it shouldn't be around the cat ever. Or any other animals. Why cant it stay with Jane's mom when she's there?
ANY other option is better than a dead cat.
Normally, I would say the age gap is a problem, but in your case, I think an exception is appropriate.
I just wanted to drive that point home so that when you talk to her you can remember that. I hope it works out for you guys
“hey im pregnant, would you like to meet the baby daddy?” that should do the trick…you are an adult, shouldn't be this nude to tell your parents that you are having a kid.
As a woman, WTF did I just read?
This has to be satire…
How long did it take you to get a better ring to make her think your leaving her? How did it get so far as divorce? How do you say you wanted to get back with her but did nothing to do so?
If your gut says no don't do it, it's just a first date and frankly he doesn't seem like much of a catch
Her
Sounds like you're getting the responsibility of what you “hounded” for.