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definitely not going to happen. I wouldn’t want it, he would not want it. She would not want it.
About marriage: idk, here it’s not the norm to marry before like 28.
Writing to her how you feel could be a good idea. Maybe she stays away because she knows she can't be a good mom. It could be her way of showing you she loves you by staying away. I hope the letter gets through to her and you can have a relationship. But if it doesn't, it is not you. It's her.
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Because they are blaming the wrong person. It was not OP throwing 15 years away just for a kiss, it was his girlfriend who did this.
I think the key nugget of your dilemma is the monetary expectations. Especially the part about you asking him to go 50/50 on a vehicle to travel in. New and used vans can be incredibly expensive and fixing them up is a lot of work, so if he is already renovating then I can understand the apprehension for him to invest in a new project. So if you are asking him to drop everything and go with you and do a completely new project, it’s his right to say no.
However, it’s unreasonable if he were to not allow you to travel at all. Could you just take a trip with friends without the van and camp instead or a flight trip and use hostels or hotels?
Do you think it's worth finding out?
Violence escalates. Ask any DV survivor. They ignored the first time, and it got worse and worse and worse. Many only make it out in an ambulance and some in a body bag. It's just the truth.
He is not safe for your or your babies.
Call the domestic violence hotline, they can give you way more info and resources to safely get out NOW.
He sustained that he cannot cheat again, but the only way to gain your trust will be by him not doing the wrong thing. I would find a way to go with him to this meetings, saying something like you want to learn the language too, and making this whole thing something of the both of you.
I’m sorry about how some people have reacted here. You’re not weak, it’s how people like that make you doubt yourself and your own mind. They’re experts. Be safe!
No I’m a client dating other clients
Sometimes we outgrow relationships. This sounds like one of those relationships. This friend doesn't respect you and preferred you when you weren't as successful. It might be time to cut ties and make new friends.