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I say cut the boyfriend loose. Especially with your dad being your only family. It’s not okay for him to isolate you like that.
What do you want from her? To acknowledge that you were in an accident? Or are you looking for her to have some empathy for you? Empathy would be understandable, but like I am a little curious as to what you’re expecting from her?
So like a suit and tie?
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Lmao your both 20, have been dating for one year and are at different unis and you think you wanna marry him. This story has played out a million times before. Be realistic and a bit more mature. It is not surprising your bf doesn’t want to potentially promise to commit to something as serious moving to another city to study for someone he hasn’t even been dating for a year. And this is not even a slight on you or your relationship it could be great and might last. Unless you have both been open on the page about it and discussed this is how you both feel which it doesn’t sound like from how you phrased it – being at this stage and having the mentality of “ I’m in it for all or nothing, I’m looking for someone who’s willling to do ANYTHING for us to workout”. That is not at all reasonable for this and he is almost certainly not on the same page on you as this and that is perfectly fair. Your advice really shouldn’t even anything – if your relationship is going strongly and isn’t going too badly long distance there is nothing to change – that’s is a reasonable response he gave. But if this is a deal breaker for you good luck to you in your future long term dating endeavours.
First off, I think you should start looking at it as being in the same boat instead of her being in a different boat asking for you to throw her a life raft. You are also in this situation because you didn't think through the consequences of having children, and to project that right on to her for doing the same thing you did seems unfair.
It sounds like neither of you is going to get exactly what you want in this situation, so the conversation that needs to be had will revolve around compromise and what kind of family you both envision having. Were her grandparents involved in her life as a child? If so, is she trying to recreate that for her child, and if not, could she be trying to give her child something she never had? This hypothetical grandchild will shortly be a fully-fledged human being, and whether you chose for them to exist or not, your presence or absence in their life will have an effect. What you do get to choose is what kind of effect it has.
Staying for a few months is objectively a lot and I wouldn't do it either, but is a weekend here and there really outside the kind of relationship you envision having with your grandchild? That's your prerogative if so, but it is outside the norm, as your daughter has mentioned, and it sounds like you haven't mentioned your true reason for wanting to maintain your independence. Everyone has a right to do what they want, but other people have their own right to respond to those actions, and I definitely think you should consider how it sounds to just say “I'd rather travel than spend time with my grandchild”. If she doesn't know how strongly you feel about being able to be independent for the first time since you had your own children, you are not understanding each other and that will make any conversation harder. I would avoid trying to compare the situations though, because not having help as a stay-at-home mom is not the same thing as not having help as a working mom.
Her expectation that you would help was short-sighted, and if that was her plan in advance of getting pregnant, she should have discussed it with you, but it also sounds like you harbor a lot of resentment toward your own children (or at least toward the trauma of motherhood, if not toward them specifically). My grandma and aunt had a lot of success going to family counseling, so maybe that's something you could look into to get an outside perspective. You are in a place now where you can focus more on healing yourself, and I think that's what you should focus on moving forward. Just be careful about maintaining relationships while you go through that journey, you don't want to get to a point where you feel whole again and have a desire to be in their lives but are no longer welcome.
I may be old fashion – but – WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL? No. You see the red flags already – you just don’t want to accept them. This isn’t good for you nor your daughter. Until they are divorced and living separately, you need to spend your spare time working on yourself to figure out why you think it’s ok for you to be treated like this. You deserve so much better. So does your daughter. How would you feel if you were watching your daughter go through this exact thing with her boyfriend when she gets older? He is still married, still living at home and still playing family.
I would commit mutiny so fucking fast ?️
Are the concessions you're making having sex when you don't want to? Is it selfish to say no to sex? Im not quite sure I follow your train of thought here.
You trying to catch a case dude
You waited years to introduce your children to friends? Cautious little one, aren’t you?
So what? Let him enjoy himself. I don't see a problem with it. You say you don't like it but you're still going with him. I wonder why.
Your body, your choice.
Then she already picked him. You’ve been dumped, just nobody told you.
Maybe me showing him a loving couple is worthwhile
But, you're not. You're showing him a couple dominated by control and insecurity and a huge lack of trust.
Jesus Christ I’m so sorry. That’s just shocking.
She doesn't have to be out for you to just… not have sex with her.
Weird. Its just a hair color and a pretty common one. and he shouldnt think about his ex when he is looking at you. Do what you want with your hair and he will just have to get over his ex
This is disgusting. Ew. Better be a troll post.
Ps, if this was AITA I’d say YTA
Yeah that’s true. I just don’t understand it, and it’s just not fair to me
Something bullies and abusers never understand: YOUR VICTIM DOESN'T WANT YOUR APOLOGY! THEY WANT YOU TO LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE!