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Definitely talk to her about it. Both of you will have to discuss the changes made due to the fact that she is a SAHM while you are going to be occupied with all the work necessary to keep the family financially stable.
My father was a stay at home dad. He had to do the housework while my mother worked as a radiology transcriptionist. Both had a discussion about who's responsible for what, how the handle getting the kids ready and dropped off. It's not just sitting around, but it is another job.
However, just like a job, expectations needs to be made clear. And the only way to get that done is to talk about it. I can't expect a new employee at a business to know everything they need to do on their first day and what they are responsible for simply by clocking in.
You and her vs the problem. Kick its ass together.
I wouldn’t dump him. I think I would restate that I am not ok with him looking at people he knows for that and that if he does that in the future, that’s going to cause me to seriously consider things
Based on your other comments, the type of sexual relationship you have isn't one I'd find enioyable. The most fun sex I've had has been with partners who make me feel relaxed and safe and have a equal focus on my enjoyment and theirs, and I will say I haven't found that to be uncommon in my sexual partners. That doesn't really seem like it's been your experience.
If he calls you fat you have no business staying with him, low self esteem or not. No human being should have to put up with that, it would CREATE low self esteem. And to say anythin looking at other women, or that you aren't enough, while he's on top of you? It's time to not walk, but RUN away. He's bad for you and he's trampling your feelings because he can and because I bet he likes seeing your reaction.
Numerous people have referenced the other bullying-wife-lawsuit saga and someone linked it. You are in danger of being jointly financially responsible for costs and compensation. I would straight up tell her that her behaviour is presenting an unacceptable financial risk to you and the kids and that you are considering divorce if she continues. Also, is this the behaviour you want modelled for your kids? Unfortunately it sounds like it’s approaching obsession levels so she won’t be able to completely stop without serious therapy.
You should probably get some indoor cameras for the common areas and tell your wife it’s for security. You need to be prepared if you split up that she’ll accuse you of terrible things and the cameras should help with that.
Some advice for the future, “when are you free for coffee?” isn’t the best thing to say. I would say “would you like to get coffee sometime?”. You kind of set yourself up for a harsh rejection imo
Him needing love is a personal problem that he should have considered before being abusive. That has nothing to do with her.
We can't know her thoughts till you bump into her and ask. Only you know the true details of everything, just start ready and simple with a hi.
All of that is figured out ! We will be double income each going into our own accounts. I have family and friends near by god forbid so does he. It’s not going to be for another 2 months roughly but yes if course we both acknowledge it’s early but there’s a lot of pros to it. But yes yes we both have incomes that will be for our independent needs.
Do you need to tell them? Genuine question. And if so then it sounds like you’ll need to sit down with them and explain the reasoning calmly and factually
if your and your partner's interests are in alignment, there's no need for compromise; if your interests don't align, that's when the need for compromise comes into play –
This is a succinct restating of the idea I was trying to communicate.
OP feels validated that she can establish compromise with her partner through effective communication techniques.
Yay! Good communication.
OP's partner feels disheartened because their non-alignment (of interests, menu choices, living arrangements, political affiliations, whatever it is as we don't know) necessitates communication to reach compromise. He would strongly prefer that he and OP were already on the same page.
Boo! Non-alignment of interests.