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I'm sorry you're going through it. Do you know for sure the child is yours? I would request paternity test. If the child is yours, she is correct, you need to step up to the plate. Depression or not. Maybe seek out the services of a therapist and possibly meds to help you out. If after all that, you still dont want to be involved, you will have to help financially support the child. It takes 2 to make a baby. Good luck OP
Yeah no.. shes probably embarrassed/ upset by her potential infertility and is using you as an excuse. Also, she might just want attention.
ALSO ALSO… …
Does he realise he can’t catch a UTI from you ?
She has to be willing to compromise somewhere. If she isn't, then that isn't a healthy relationship. It sounds like literally all of the compromise for the sleeping arrangement is coming from you, which will make you resentful.
You need to let her know how big of an issue this is to you, and work towards a solution that works for you both. If you can't or she's unwilling, then… do what you gotta do to get some sleep
There are many people who are happy being in committed, relationships where marriage is not important. His girlfriend is not one of those people. She has made it clear that she values marriage, and it's a requirement for continuing the relationship.
If marriage isn't important to him, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that, but it makes them incompatible, and he needs to tell her that, and let her move on.
he is a good man
*proceeds to describe an abusive, ableist, homophobic, controlling narcissist*
Sure, Jan.
Seriously, you are in your sixties. You made a decision long ago to stand by your nasty creep of a husband and destroy your relationship with your children. Now you're thinking you may have been wrong but you still can't bring yourself to “disobey” him, like you're some child. Like you've been brainwashed by decades of emotional abuse, and make no mistake, you have. But your kids broke free, and you can too.
It's one or the other. You can change your mind now and hope they'll be receptive to rebuilding trust, but there's no middle ground here. Time to choose.
lol and you’re 31??
Is he willing to seek help on his end? I don’t know if they have Alcoholics Anonymous in your country but they’ve got it here in the US and I’ve known a few people who swear by it. If he isn’t willing to get help for an obvious alcohol dependency then I don’t know where you’d start
Not that he simply thinks that he’s single, he is.
This is your way in. Tell him that it makes him look ethnocentric and ignorant to act like his dialect is the only valid dialect. It makes him seem like he’s never been anywhere and like he’d be an absolute embarrassment to take anywhere. If he is acting dumb, tell him he’s dumb.
It kind of sounds like he's not necessarily creepy, he just literally thinks you're already in a relationship. Communicate and clarify.
unless you had a discussion about this before hand saying you were fine with this, which, given by your post, im assuming you did not, this it is rape. please. leave him as soon as possible.
Oh I misunderstood a little. Well, you can still be happy with who you are and still appreciate how she helped you become that and move on (nothing is wasted if you learned something) But you shouldn’t lead someone else on. It honestly all takes time, and a shift of focus. It can be really very hot and painful to “get over” a relationship. One thing that has helped me in any break up situation, is focusing solely on myself and exploring my interests/maybe finding new ones. And becoming closer with my friends.
Don’t accept this type of behaviour. He isn’t treating you right. You deserve to feel loved, appreciated and respected. You will find that but not with this guy. Move on, and don’t settle for less ❤️
Your partner is staying in a relationship with someone she thinks is a pedophile? That's odd.
Ah, so date rape, then.
Coercive sex.
And did my comment say anything about planning for 50 or that I think OP or anyone should? No. So I don’t know why you think that’s what I think.
I question why in the face of OP talking about the group text enough that they’ve had several fights that it seems his only response is that everyone is an adult. Not “we’ll plan out food and everything together” not “I usually meal plan with bob and jerry and figured you’d join unless you had other thoughts” not “as long as you pack hiking boots and a swimsuit you’ll be covered for any activity we’d do there”. He just mentions self reliant adults. And him mentioning self reliant and saying a date and a place is all we need and no mention of even his own plans makes me wonder if he’s planning to rely on himself.
You're going about it wrong. It's stupid to pay for everything and then resent it. Sit down together with paper and pen and write out what everyone earns and spends, and figure out what she can reasonably be asked to spend. You shouldn't be paying for everything.
If this offends her and she dumps you, consider yourself lucky to find out now what she is all about.
I’m not trying to be snarky. I’m trying to learn so I can do better. Genuinely trying to understand.