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I see it being a “ him” problem, Can I call him archaeologist, because he dig up the past. I can see how is hurt about this bully had sex with you but that’s is his problem and he estuve gets over it or peace out.. I mean i am sure to know what to do.
Since she sounds like a person who will wait and won't take your feelings for granted then just continue going to therapy to process what has happened in past and with her go slow. When you feel you are ready tell her and just lean in. If it feels weird then you stop. Just be sure to express your feelings so she understand that it isn't her fault and that you just need slower pace.
Thank you for that. It was very helpful
Right it’s either on purpose, or negligent to the point of abuse.
I once flailed in a dream and smacked my wife while we were sleeping. I was mortified and felt guilty, apologized a dozen times. I was ready to see doctors and sleep clinics if it had happened more.
This guy hurts her and thinks it’s funny or cute or nothing? That shows a complete lack of care for her to the point she should be afraid.
I said TRUST ISSUES. Not insecurities. I’m not insecure about how I look. I have problems TRUSTING people. They’re completely different things. I don’t need to work on myself.
He either needs to drink less or get a bucket or something to keep on the floor by his side of the bed (which will be HIS to take care of). I don’t know if this is more of a guy thing or ? My parents told me stories of how there were a couple times in their younger years when Dad woke up, pulled the drawer out of the bedside mini-dresser thing, peed in it, then claimed he was in the bathroom when confronted yet Mom didn’t seem to have this issue.
Despite drinking heavily for ~half my life I have never peed on the floor. I’ve peed in a trash can a couple times but that was just because I didn’t want to leave the room + deal with people. No one has ever had to clean up my pee though + I wouldn’t expect them to. I took care of it. My Mom once emptied the little trash can in my room (it had a bag in it) because I had puked in it but I didn’t expect her to + told her I would take care of it myself but she insisted because she was a great mom (+ probably also because when she was my age she neglected to take out the trash in her room after having puked + lived to regret it).
It’s one thing to pee on the floor but to not even attempt to clean it up + instead have someone else do it, repeatedly, isn’t ok. If he keeps doing it + you keep cleaning up after him he’ll think it is though.
If it happens again let him clean it up. If your bedroom is carpeted he can mix 1 cup of white vinegar + 1 cup of water + 2 teaspoons of baking soda in a spray bottle then blot the area dry with paper towels to clean it up + get rid of pee smells.
I cant help but think, wtf happened then?
She spent three months working and being friends with two people who probably did nothing but tolk to her about poly relationships and their benefits. Like a lesser form of brainwashing.
Of course they never brought up the massive amount of negativity and downsides. So all she heard for three months was how good this is. Slowly, that starts to creep in her mind and she wants to try it out.
She doesn't view it as such a “bad big thing” when she sprung this on you, due to her friends and their 3 months. Not to mention that one of those friends was sitting next to her during that fated phone call probably making her parrot his words. It took you putting your foot down very hot for her to realize she fucked up. This was probably the first bad thing about poly that she experienced and it was obviously a very, very immense negative thing. She came to her senses.
I do have a small issue. What was she doing at that friend's place that he felt like crossing boundaries? Calling you insecure, limiting her sexuality and wanting you to let her? What happened when you cut the phone call and in that last week before she came back? Is she still friends with them? I'm going to assume she was loyal, because some people have some dignity left. But those friends have got to go NOW because it's painfuly obvious they want (and maybe even tried) to get in her pants.
Please keep us updated. Best of luck
I did. I'm cautious though because this was manipulative, and he might reappear and manipulate further. I will acknowledge this relationship might end messily. I feel like I'll take him back again. I'm trying to figure out how to develop the resilience to set a safe boundary if he suddenly reappears.
The partner before him would threaten to kill himself every time I tried to break up with him. It wasn't until I called him out on his lack of integrity to follow through with it that he dropped it. And found another way.
I guess I'm wondering if there is a way to go through this and put boundaries down. Or is manipulation unfixable? It could be that he stops, and then it resurfaces somewhere else.
If I say if I say “Hi” as in when you greet someone he will say “I am not high, I am low” and start laughing again as if he thinks he is funny.
Congratulations, your friend is now your dad and you will never go one day without hearing another dad joke.
In all seriousness, you can either grin and bear it or sit your friend down and tell him that you don't like his jokes. If you consider him a friend and would ideally like to continue to hang out with him, then those are your only two options.
In my mind, it would be stupid to stop hanging out with a good friend just because you can't muster up the courage to tell him how you really feel.
Sure is gay, but meanwhile he brushes her face with his balls. Next step: a friendly blowjob.
No, I would be forced to return home and be miserable. I do not seek out rich men.
That's Pick Up Talk from 10 years ago. Time to grow up.
Damn I’m a woman and that was very hot. Definitely storing these for my husband
Dude. Get a grip. It took her a lousy 'couple of months' to start cheating and has fucked 2 other men already? And thinks you should just get over her still being around these people and partying with them?
Respect yourself man. She's trash and has nothing to offer you but turmoil and STD's.
What account?
Maybe he enjoys female attention and the idea of other girls fantasizing about having him because posting me may means he is “off market” and decrease his appeal.
Or he maybe simply doesn't WANT to post me? Or maybe he doesn't take me as a priority.
Yes
She is 29 yo and want to progress the relationship. Clock is ticking for her and you need to chose what you want. Kind of unfair to you but that's part of dating a woman her age.
Dude, run.
I'm doing my best being supportive and looking for options to help him feel better. The sex was just an issue, I see we have something deeper in hands and the sex has become something else here
Male. I have literally only had sex with my wife. We started dating at 17. No regrets. Not embarrassed.
I don't have a dick so I could be mistaken, but my understanding is that dick-havers generally enjoy having their dicks touched by someone that they are attracted to. Or so I've been led to believe by the dicks I've interacted with.
Stop overthinking. Stop it.
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Again be well
Were you pressured & manipulated into having that baby? Or was it just unplanned? Because this kind of coercion is a seriously toxic thing.
Buy her a gun? ???♂️
Thank youuuuu
Your husband even making that joke to the doctor is screwed up considering some doctors would actually listen. You married a douche bag
A bit of 2 cents from a 40 year old. If the attention of your crush is causing you to reconsider your current relationship you probably aren’t ready for a relationship.
This is classic “grass is greener” mentality. Wondering what it would be like with another is not fair to your current. Maybe some time to consider who/what you want in a relationship is warranted.
People are entitled to believe what they want so if he’s uncomfortable with it he should just move on. There’s no sense in him holding something over your head, that’s just manipulative.
Looks like an emotional affair; if not already physical, it will progress that way. I think you should consider a divorce.
Kids are better off having divorced parents than having two parents in the house with a disfumctional relationship.
What “thought” was really put into a gift that your daughter wasn’t interested in receiving?
Your girlfriend is over reacting and throwing a hissy fit
Honestly that might just be a worse case scenario thing though. Honestly you expect the worst once the deadline has passed.
Come on OP, have you not read any posts on here from people who's parent chose their stepparent over them or let their stepparent treat them like crap? Guarantee that will be your kid in a few years. It's a wound that doesn't really heal. You're messing up your kid and for what? Some bitch who's jealous of a kid? You can't even buy your own child a birthday card?? Where the hell is your backbone? Your wife is a grown woman! Your child is the one who needs protecting and needs her father. Your wife thinks your daughter is the brat? Your wife is the one acting like a brat and you allow it. You make decent money but don't save any for her college? Wake up OP, your child will soon have nothing to do with you when she's 18.
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Right!? Ew this man is gross
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WHY ARE SO MANY YOUNG WOMEN LACKING IN BASIC SELF PRESERVATION???
We get 5+ posts a day about “I'm [16-23] and my boyfriend that is much older and controlling treats me like shit but he's totally the best guy in the world! What should I do?”
I'm so done with this. Surely this many have to be fake posts? Kids are taught from a young age to not date older people because they can abuse you. Do this many kids seriously not listen?
So, one pattern I'm seeing is that many of your activities are with her people, which naturally is going to feel like it's more of her obligation. For example if my best friend and her husband planned a trip and invited me and my boyfriend on it, I'd probably end up doing the logistics like ticket-booking and accommodations and packing lists as well as coordinating with them on all this since they're my friends. I'm not sure if that's how it goes between you but something I noticed that may tie in to how she's feeling.
How many date nights would you say you came up with and planned without her involvement over the past year, if you had to ballpark it?
You should've really considered this BEFORE making an ultimatum to blow up your family. That was a stupid move. Now, you will either have to follow through and split up or stay in the relationship but proving that your threats are vapid and empty. Either way you're screwed.
If your relationship doesn't have any other problems I think you should stay together. This time around how about you actually talk to your partner about it? Like, does he even WANT a marriage or is he content with how things are now? Some peopole wanna get married and some people don't. You should've genuinly talked before puttting yourself in this situation.
I'm so confused here, why are you married to a teenager OP?
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Very true. I was so relieved in my last relationship when I could just say “I like sage a bit more, how do you feel about using sage instead of thyme there?” instead of beating around the bush and trying to mind read minds and determine who wanted their option the most. To me, at least, being able to ask straight out and get and tolerate a straight answer back, is healthier than dancing around it.
Amazed OP made it to 28 and still clueless af. No way he can't see the major issues here.
So he wants to date someone submissive who will just shut up and go along with whatever he wants and feels? Sounds like he doesn’t think women are actually people with complex thoughts and emotions.
As a 32yo woman who’s about to be single. I would not go after a 20 something at all unless it was just a fling. There’s too large of a maturity gap, and probably less common interests
I can never understand how people can have an open relationship ?? I just couldn’t. When I’m with someone, I expect it to be monogamous 100%. Each to their own I suppose. Don’t feel pressured into agreeing to something you don’t want to do. She’s opened a can of worms and unfortunately once something like this is mentioned, it never goes away.
Going to be very direct with you OP. It sounds like you struggle with asserting your needs, being manipulated, and having codependent tendencies. These things very well may contribute or be the causal factors for your PE. The anxiety responses associated with codependency and the underlying attachment traumas are intimately linked to your body.
This might sound wild to you and Reddit, but as a psychotherapist who leans heavily on family therapy based modalities, I wonder if there’s a chance that your PE is your body’s way to trying to keep your relationships together, in a confused way of course. Maybe this part of you needs something that it didn’t get during a vital / earlier part of your developmental years. How “safe” do you feel during sex or during intimate moments, for example. How closely is PE linked to “fear of loss” for you. Has your own personal pleasure become intertwined with loss of intimacy? I’m that context, can you see how your body might want that risk to stop asap?
Eh, just a thought considering some of the relationships dynamics that I get from your text and tone. Maybe some things to think about none the less.
My advice, see a therapist who knows how to work on deeper levels, psychodynamic for example or even a sex therapist, and dive in, brother. I think you’ll be ok and this PE thing doesn’t have to define you. Get the help though. Be bold in your exploration. Gl
You’re welcome! Also I noticed that you mentioned you’ve only had bad experiences with men – people who have past trauma/abuse are often very susceptible to love bombing like this. People like this are often clingy with everyone, it’s just most people with healthy boundaries keep their distance. It’s usually people who don’t really know what a healthy relationship looks like that are most likely to become enmeshed in a relationship with them because they don’t push them away immediately when they start being creepy/abusive. So this isn’t him being “normal” and you overreacting; this is objectively weird and your intuition is rightly telling you so.
I mean her friends aren't like that. So I should just break up with her rn?
clean equal to her and do laundry a little less than she does but I do it also
…this isn't “service”, dude. It's just doing your fair share of chores
It’s not crazy logic. The mom is just expressing how unfair it feels.
Oh dear, have some self respect. This is just desperate
You wait until she's healed up and you serve her divorce papers. Pretty simple equation here.
Maybe I’m dumb but is 230 pounds even “fat” for someone who is 6’5?
I just want you to know I'm into poop stuff – I hope you can respect me in this trying time.
Good Lord, end this already! Talk about a relationship being dead and buried and 2 people trying to still kill it. You both are playing mental and emotional games with each other and straight out of a low budget talk show episode.
Well at least your friends are helping out but your edits aren’t giving me much confidence in the future of your relationship. Go on that vacation and leave him to figure his shit out.
There's being nice then there's letting people exclude your partner while there there.
Yep. Having that many kids is insanely selfish. Parentification of children is awful.
well u don’t have a choice if u “love” her and respect her as much as u say u do
If you were serious about doing the right thing by your gf, you would stop seeing the other girl.
I think though that you should break up with your gf, move and then tell the new girl. She may want more or not but your current gf deserves better.
I will also add that you got together at 18, it is not wild to change in your 20s and drift apart and it is so common not to marry your first serious relationship.
Basically be honest but don't allow this situation to last.
Yep even though I really like her but I think I need to cut this loose before I get hurt
Wait did you only physically see him once? All this and only had sex once?
I know i will be okay but it just feels like jumping out of an plane blindfolded with no parachute. Lol
Good metaphor. No doubt it feels like that but I reckon you've got a fairly solid parachute there. You've done solo living before so it'll be familiar, plus from your posts you seem really clear headed on where you're at.
Best of luck on a soft landing. Once the benefits and freedoms of single living start to kick in you'll probably look back and wonder what you were worrying about.
He either has special needs or is an idiot….leaning towards idiot. Break up and RUN!!!
Is anger his go to reaction when you guys have a misunderstanding? Doesn't matter. Just weird that the first thing he'd do is get angry and call off your plans.
Personally, I'd bail.
I know it's been a while, but the last time hubby's ex texted him and I saw them chatting, he showed me everything. From her first message. We still fought (because I saw he cussed her out), but I digress.
Spidey sense is tingling? Believe Spidey.
Yeah ok that's a fair stance to have. However I did write in original post he was not Trans, so that was not something I wanted speculation on. Nor would I want anyone with those types of scars that aren't Trans to be told that they present that way. I also genuinely did not know that for males excess breast tissue was a common thing and that there was a surgery for that. I will say I thought it was abuse or a serious surgery so that concerned me. I am happy I posted this as I got more insight to the many things it could be. And that it may not be something to worry about as his girlfriend who is planning on spending the foreseeable future if not the rest of my life with him. Il end it at that.
My best male friend, sure I'll give him a hug when I see him but handholding? Nah. Something doesn't feel right. Me personally, I'd dump him. Just because his boundaries are different to yours doesn't mean he can't disrespect them.
The wires are mandatory, it doesn't work wireless. The last time that it was updated in my condo, they used lan cables, but it could be phone wires as well. Those locks are bigger in the outside only, it's installed on the outside of the door. Yes, I'm Brazilian. I don't know about options sold in Germany, I just know about those, sorry. Then, the only option for you, would be find an more suitable place, sorry.
I don't think paying fair rent is the issue, this isn't a fair arrangement in general. He's having you pay the split cost of a bedroom, which means you won't have any space to yourself. You're going to be living in a shared space with 3 other men, and how are they feeling towards this arrangement? They didn't agree to having the owners girlfriend living there when they moved in.
Also what does it mean by hours being more flexible? Are you working from home more (which might impact the other renters EVEN MORE) or just going in later? Are you factoring the cost of that extra travel into how much money you'll be “saving”? Honestly it just sounds easier to treat yourself to a private room somewhere else.
That's true. Should be able to fit in a few shifts in between.
It just hurts that I am willing to compromise so much and she's not I guess 🙁
Birth control comes in a blister pack. This story is fake.
I like to fix my problems before I talk about them. It drives my friends and family crazy but it is just how I function. I don't want to talk about it until I know what the resolution is. I get just needing some space
Some people have to rewrite history to make themselves feel better.
Anyone who is close to the situation will know the truth. Anyone who isn’t close to the situation really doesn’t matter.
My (ex) husband and I divorced because he was having an affair with a man and came out as gay (to me only). He told his family and anyone else who would listen that HE filed for divorce because I’m a raging alcoholic.
At first, it really bothered me. Then I realized that the people close to us had a pretty good idea what was going on. I didn’t need to defend myself.
I’d just remind her that what she’s saying isn’t true and you don’t want to hear it.
Child free here! I start by getting it out of the way ASAP when I was dating, and if our opinion on the matter wasn't the same then I wouldn't continue a relationship with them. I had several partners who assumed I would change my mind so lied in the beginning then got upset when I ended the relationship later down the line because of this deception/assumption.
Now been with my hubs for 12 years and he is also very much child free to the point when I had to go off birth control he got the snip without any hesitation. We have a several male friends who similarly are not interested in having kids.
These men are out there.
It's OK that you have changed your stance from maybe to deffo no. But you have to be honest with him that it's not on the cards and won't be and take the end of the relationship well. He is still able to go find a woman who can have that future with him. Best not drag it out.
Appreciate the feedback. I think my issue is now I’m insecure that she will just give her number out to any guy that asks because to say no or that she has a boyfriend will be “awkward”.
Learn how to cook. You're 25. My 12 year old can make himself a meal. Is she a stay at home gf?
What harm do you see it do?
He feels entitled to her body. Her body is there for his pleasure and now that it doesn't look the way he wants it to he's throwing a mantrum. This dude deserves to be single forever.
I realize you are talking about OP's GF & not other people's relationships, but this feels really dismissive. My partner & I went through a lot of shit with his parents & with my health in the first two years of dating. I knew how he reacts to stress & conflict pretty early on. That hasn't changed in the 10 years I have been with him. Plus, what you call puppy love has lasted all these years. My heart still skips a beat when I see him. I still think he is one of the best men I have ever known, which is why I married him. Don't get me wrong–I am aware of his flaws– but I am absolutely still smitten with him.
You have to realize you deserve better. We can’t do it for you. At the point you have to stop being considerate of her wants and needs. Take the card off her contract, change your phone number, and go where you want when you want. She doesn’t run you and she certainly doesn’t run or own the city you all on-line in. She’s a narcissist and a manipulator. People like that tend to think they can and will break people down to get what they want. You have to grow a backbone and stop taking her shit. Breaking up with you is the best thing she did for you because you don’t have to tolerate her abusive behavior anymore. Please look into seeking therapy because you have to work on your self-esteem and learn to not let people bully you.
Either she stops drinking or it will be her downfall. You cannot be responsible for either outcome.
I don't get this. You knew what she wanted after the last time, and called her up after knowing all this, then act surprised when she misunderstood your status on a relationship with her. Clearly she thought this second round was the beginning of something. You're wanting the milk without the cow. Just leave her be.
If you don't want to divorce you need to accept it or on-line full of bitterness and resentment.
Honestly, I would girl. I went through this and I’m way happier after I left him. He would be in these types of chats with his friends and honestly those men are the lowest type and you are only letting him drag you down. Find someone who respects women especially you.
As a nonbinary person, I can 100% assure you it’s okay. You’re using the pronouns he is okay with and that is all that matters.
If your friend doesn’t usually do this, you can talk about what made her react the way she did. She may be feeling disregarded by society and projecting that onto you. If she still insists that you are a bigot though, you need to set the appropriate boundaries.
Why do you want someone who doesn’t want you? Stop supporting his unemployed ass while he flirts with other women and move on to your best life.
If you aren't fully in love with someone then you should let them go, they deserve to have someone who loves them full stop as do you.
This comment is to the bf don’t put up with that dude. That is so disrespectful. Idgaf just because you’re not Igbo man that’s not a reason to dislike you. Also your girl isn’t defending you. Her dad did the absolute most disrespectful thing. Also good job for not punching him and just walking away. You deserve better king.
In all seriousness, I can’t think of a single reason why you should tell him.
Thankyou!
He's acting like he has no idea. He's been blowing up my phone but he didn't apologize for that night…
I’d tell her I want a divorce, and not change my mind. She’s going to lie to you over and over
Dear Reddit, my husband won’t let me get a job or see my friends anymore, and punishes me by withholding dinner when i don’t mop the floors very hot enough. He was so sweet last month though when we got married on my 18h birthday!
Bob sounds like an ass. Your friend Alice should know that too.
I don’t really know if I should stay in my dorm or go back to my father’s. Both are relatively close to uni so idk. He knows both addresses, but I haven’t heard anything back so idk. I genuinely am just lost rn
Garnish tax returns.
You know what her response would have been, so follow her own advice, and end the relationship.
Tell her that as she has shown herself to not respect you or your relationship, and that she is ungrateful for everything you have done for the last 2 years.
Then kick her unemployed arse out of your home.
Shoot your shot my girl!!
Ul never know until u ask. It might hurt being rejected bt its better than always wondering and being jealous because again he isn't aware of ur feelings.
Atleast ul know. Itl be awkward for a bit but ul get over it and can move on then!
Unfortunately for us men can't read our minds and if he's anything like my husband was he's not gonna get hints or shit.
Come on!! Ur a damn Ravenclaw go for it!!
Hey, I’m not 100% sure off of such a small story but losing the ability to emotionally cope and start acting erratic like that is a strong indicator of having an Autistic fit. It has all the triggers there for it and the outburst sounds like one as well.
A LOT of women go undiagnosed so that’s at least somewhere I would start.. or at least if you break up with her tell her to get checked it could save years of her trying to figure out why she can’t seem to control her emotions like that.
There are ways to manage the emotional outburst better once you know your triggers and such.
Thank you! Now I have to make a judgement call on when to have this conversation with her and how to start it. Hmm.
Leave lol, like come on..
It depends if the court recognizes sexting as cheating. I would find out. Regardless, I would break up you have a cheater there even if the court doesn't recognize it. You will never be able to trust her.
Do you ever want kids with this dude? If so, please don't. I can tell you right now he's gonna be the kind of partner that dumps all the work on you and you'll get real resentful, real fast. I've seen it a thousand times.
His daughters didn't get the dog. They aren't really the dog's caretakers. They're children. Your boyfriend is the ADULT AND PARENT. It is his responsibility to care for, train, and maintain the dog. Most active and involved parents know that 12 year Olds can't be 100% responsible for a demanding dog like a puppy. They expect the 12 year to do lightweight care stuff: feeding, walking, playing. But not the true care of a pet: long term training, veterinary care, socialization. That was your bf's job. Clearly he didn't do it well. That's on him.
And yoy should definitely leave him. Hes a 43 year old and can't properly care for a dog that he bought . He cNt mediate the relationship between you and his kids well. Maybe it's the dog tension but I think most teens wouldn't love having such a young step mom yelling at them over a pet.
I would tell your Dad that you want him to walk you down the isle, that he was there for you when no one else was, he read they're for you, not by obligation, but because he wanted to.
Next talk to your Dad about how you are grateful to have him in your life, but that he was absent a long time after he gave you up completely. He asked to be back in any capacity that you chose to give him and that if stands but those words then he will accept your decision and support against ALL of his family.
And tell your grandmother similarly but with more emphasis on how much it destroyed you to be abandoned by your father, her son. That you aren't that same child, but that forgiveness has its limits.
It’s also possible that she used to be sexually adventurous and then fell in love with you, so squelched it down. She could be very in love with you and feel sexually trapped and unsatisfied, and is struggling to figure out how to stay with you when she’s not getting what she needs.
Keeping the video, doesn’t seem that odd to me if it helps her recall a great memory.
he raped you. he's continually violated your consent since. he's not sorry. but im sorry to say that that video he took before exists somewhere off his phone. so even if you see him delete it there, it still exists. because your autonomy and rejection mean shit all to him.
stop dating your rapist. get out. go to therapy. tell every fucker you know what this scumbag did to you. gather your friends around you. and find the better that you deserve.
So even though men fantasize about their gf friends, they shouldn’t masturbate to them.
This is a beautiful picture, good for being framed and hung up in your home in your living area or your bedroom or even the entry way to your home .
Don't let his lies and insecurities ruin that for you and for this picture.
Keep the pic. Delete the man.
I fucking love all of you
I fucking love all of you
I made a mistake when I was young by on-line “dating” someone who was a couple years younger.
Not explicitly, but if OP was almost 18, it should mean an age between 15-16.
Not exactly nauseuous…. but about wht the heck would one even talk?
literally read this multiple times just to see if i was seeing this right… holy fucking projection.
On a scale of mess ups this doesn’t even register. It was just a choice. Probably I would make the same choice. Not a mess up; nobody was hurt from your action.
It’s rape by deception. You were not given the ability to consent. The pair of them conspired to rape you three times.
This is an horrific betrayal. I’m usually on the side of reconciliation on this sub but not in this case. I don’t think I’d be able to reestablish any sort of relationship with him or his family. Divorce.
As a female doctor, it is difficult to find men to date who don’t resent how successful you are. And often these men will lash out about about tiny little things like this, but it is usually a symptom of this deeper issue of them feeling inferior. I don’t really have any advice to you except to try and sniff these men out early on because they will NOT be supportive during residency, during fellowship, during you first job where you are trying to be equal with the male surgeons, etc. What if there is another pandemic, is this dude gonna be all butthurt you are spending too much time keeping people from dying?
I had a strict ‘no dating other doctors’ policy for a long time, but sometimes only people in the medical field really understand. Something to consider since this guy sounds like trash. Good luck!
You’re selfish and broke agreed upon rules. This type of things will destroy a man and it seems like you started swinging because you wanted to not him (assuming based on your dominant comment)
Relationships done. You want a masculine man and he’s not it.
He chose to cheat. Doesn't matter why. He willingly cheated on you.
He chose to cheat. Doesn't matter why. He willingly cheated on you.
No but maybe details on the career and if the promotion was going to have you away from family more hours than your other job? Your split as it relates to children? I imagine her parents probably supplied free babysitting for you guys when you lived near them? Do you have a babysitter or nanny now to help out so you guys get a break once in a while ? There are a lot of factors. Does she or you have a support network where you are now? Maybe her dad was concerned about that?
VERY HOT NO. This is not normal boyfriend behavior and doesn’t need to be tolerated. He is an asshole full stop. Your partner should build you up. He is being manipulative negging jerk. Please find someone who will be kind to you!
This is ridiculous. Dump the loser.
Oh, come on
You can’t, it’s his own insecurities, which he’s projecting onto you rather than acknowledging.
It’s not 1950 and (thankfully) those gender stereotypes are dead to most. You absolutely shouldn’t be changing your behaviour to appease his issues around this. Mostly because whatever you do, simply won’t be enough.
So there are guys and girls on this trip but you excluded your boyfriend
If it was me ill be pissed
Not only no, but hell no. Your husband is trying to coerce you into something, just so he can feel like the big man. No. You already said you didn’t really want to. So, please don’t. Don’t allow these men to use you as their plaything. You are worth more than that and your husband is a selfish ass.
…You should practice by having sex with her. That was her way of telling you that she wants y’all to have lots of sex.
Damn who hurt you? Who said I didn’t have female friends? You’re claiming that I’m the issue here in regards to females and yet you’re attacking me? Lol. Why is all of Reddit’s first go to is to tell her to break it off? I’m telling her that the more she plays jealous GF over his friend the more likely he’s going to resent her. I could just lie for internet points or I could give a genuine opinion / different perspective. We don’t know even what phase of the dating stage their at.
there’s nothing logical about bigotry
Our fiance found out best friend was secretly recording her or them..
It could be alot of things.
Guy here. Men who value their partners and consent do not do things like this. Men who view women solely as sex toys do things like this. Stop having sex with the latter, look for the former. This has been my TED talk.
Sure, Jan
This happens pretty often. It can be weird in some situations but if there’s no longer a client/patient relationship then there is nothing to report.
I'm not sure how to read your question.
There's NO QUESTION as to what I'd personally do and what you know you need to do.
Fuck that loser. Kick his idiotic ass to the curb. There's literally nothing redeeming about him. Let him go. Good riddance.
Care for yourself. Make sure you're healing.
I'm so desperately sorry for your loss and the upheaval you're enduring. May the universe grant you some peace and security in the interim.
Sending love, OP.
Hubby had sex with guy’s wife. Hubby becomes friend with guy, OP no like.
Your update is concerning. I don't buy that your husband is just being nice because he's a super nice person. He's literally confiding in her with your best kept secrets. He's probably telling her all kinds of intimate details about his relationship with you as well (both good and bad). And if he was so nice he would have been open and honest about all this from the beginning. I think you are delusional and this guy is at the very least having an emotional affair.
He doesn't trust the courts to be fair and he's right not to.
She stopped evolving and will hold you back in life until you leave. Sometimes they make an effort to change if they see that you are actually willing to leave but you will never know until you try. For me this started with sleeping on the couch no matter how persuasive they are I would say “ I just can’t share a bed with someone who cares that little about my well being.” Then it would be sleeping at a girl friends house.
Other women: Get therapy
What makes you think that? Obviously I did.
Girl, you need some therapy to work on your self esteem issues. Guess what, fat people have sex and you can too! I know it’s very hot, I have been very overweight and had eating disorders and self esteem issues for a long time. When I got into my thirties, I got over the eating disorder and starting working on self image. Once I got good with me and accepted my body, my life and mu relationship improved tremendously. My DH has always loved my body, fat and thin and sounds like you’re hubby feels the same way about you.
I’ll tell you, I did manage to lose the weight eventually but I approached it from a health stand point and treating my body well instead of I’m so fat and no one will like my body. Go easy on yourself and give yourself grace. Definitely look into therapy and work on your self. The rest will come, but weight loss is much easier when you’re doing it for the right reasons.
Sending big hugs to you
His actions aren't your fault or your responsibility.
We already both have trust issues.
How on earth would opening the relationship help with this?! It's going to completely destroy your relationship and you both know it.
That's why you're so apprehensive and he stopped it last time.
Don't do it.
Why do you have to act normal? Simply because you're thinking two wrongs don't make a right and you don't want to own up to going through his s***??? You got to get your priorities in order
youre dating some loser who’s ten years older than you and he doesnt even pay for your shit? wtf.
That’s ironic for someone with the username ‘Elegant Past’
What do you mean by “boundaries”? Boundaries are not about other people's behaviours but of what the person setting the boundaries will and will not tolerate for themselves.
“You will X or you will not Y” are not boundaries.
It isn't “you can't do drugs” but “I will not tolerate drug use in my home. If you use drugs in my home you will be asked to leave and not invited back.”
Nope. If he’ll do it drunk, he’ll do it sober – don’t wait around for it to happen again.
You're not wrong to be upset, he sounds incredibly immature. I've had UTIs and kidney infections since I was a kid, it's just something that happens when you're afab bc our urethras are way shorter and close to the vagina. Honestly our anatomy is bullshit, putting the waste pipes so close to the playground. Anyway you deserve better than this.
You didn't answer ANY of the questions I asked. I don't care about how important penetration is to you. I am caring about HER pain.