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He is truth trickling. Your bf is gay or bi and may be in denial. Either way he is not ready for a serious relationship. It sounds like he either needs to explore his sexuality or he is hiding his sexuality. Either way his cheating shows he doesn't love you the way you deserve. Find someone who will honestly communicate their feelings and needs to you and respect you enough not to lie, hide, or cheat.
“Hey, I’m having some complicated emotions I didn’t expect about your new relationship and will take a bit of time to get my head straight.”
This is a great way to start the conversation and I have been thinking how to approach it without just dumping my feelings on her. Thank you.
From your original entry, it just sounded like you were trying to alleviate your own suffering by confessing to her…and that’s not the way forward in my mind.
Yes, I can't lie, it is like that, but I also want to tell her because we are honest to each other and I think she deserves to know. She is also someone I would always go to support me, and while she can't help me with this, I believe she would understand or at least sympathise.
My biggest problem is how to talk to her without breaking into a crying mess and just rambling on about my feelings. I want to tell her how much she means to me, and all the time we spent together, and how it hurts to lose all that. But I understand it would probably sound manipulative and like an attempt to get her to “come to me” and I don't want that to happen. I don't know how to express how I feel without making it seen like guilt tripping or worse. I just want her to understand the value of her support and everything she's done for me.
Don’t you think you are worth more than FWB?
Sounds like he knows what he wants. You are not his right fit but wants to let you down positively.
Wow. Never in a million years would it cross my mind to create and keep a list like that.
Lol, he takes her out all the time, pays for her friends too. He bought her a $2000 Christmas gift, Disney was the Christmas gift for the younger kids. I mean he could have taken her to Disney instead of getting her a computer…but she also doesn’t like her siblings.
Would your family refuse to “maintain relationships” with you if you moved in with this new partner? (They are allowed, even though I think that would suck.)
And, lots of relationships fail. People end marriages after DECADES. Having lived with two people is FINE.
You are an adult. At some point you will have to decide if it is more important to you to not upset your parents, or if you want to live your life.
Honestly you lost me at silica gel packets like those aren't useful after you get them ?
If this is real, then I don't see a solution. This is not the person for you.
No legal advice will help you in having her give the two kids your surname.
Depends on the jurisdiction. In the US when he goes to court for visitation and custody split, he can petition to have the children’s surnames either changed to his or changed to include his.
Agreed- as a bisexual woman I always find it so perplexing when people’s view is just “oh don’t have close friends of the opposite sex.” Like, what should I do then?
Luckily my husband trusts me enough to know that my friends of either gender are just that- friends.
She doesn’t respect you enough to stop it. That says a lot.
The biggest red flag & still ignored it…
It's over. You don't want him just as a friend, and it's impossible for you to live his lifestyle. Face it, you're not compatible. Time to move on.