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I guess I'm just disappointed in my mom. I was cheated on by my first real love and it hurt so bad. My husband was hurt badly by what his mom did, but his dad made it worse. I guess I'm just disappointed.
Please get in touch with reality. Your husband confronting and getting into a fist fight a stranger calling you names is not romantic or heroic. It's toxic. Judging from your other posts, he has a hero complex that he honestly should get some therapy for. You aren't a damsel in distress. You aren't a princess waiting for a knight in a tower.
Time to stop living in a fairytale and start living in the real world, where the way you BOTH are acting has consequences.
Don't listen to this clown OP, this isn't your fault. This is your natural reaction due to your trauma. Don't let people make you feel bad for being victimized and carrying the consequences of abuse. This is not on you, at all
She went into that creepy age gap sub for validation and got it. That sub is nuts. It seems like a huge proportion of the users are very young women with middle-aged men, talking like their 5-year marriage where they have 3 kids and 4 stepkids is proof that age gap relationships are healthy.
verified account, voice messages, facetimed, not a catfish, that´s the only things I can say with absolute certainty about him and his intentions as of yet.
Sorry I should’ve gone into more details. 3 months after we broke up, he sent me a video saying how “he just made out with the hottest chick.” He came back to my country afterwards, which was when I let him know what he did is toxic and I just want to stay as friends now. He left my country after the winter break, and I still got texts from him like “I miss you ngl,” and just stuff like that that I’ve been getting up until now.
Him saying he wanted to “watch a movie” above didn’t mean going to the cinema, when we were together we would do that before we get intimate. He meant to watch a movie at one of our houses but “didn’t know how it would logistically even go down.” At least that’s the impression I got.
So your husband is happy for your mother to do the lions share of the babysitting to make his and your life easier, but thinks she should then just leave like an unpaid helper?
I'm going to disagree with the majority and say your husband needs to either learn a little gratitude for the things your mother is doing to enhance HIS home life or accept the offer of returning to the previous arrangement.
Sounds like she's guilt tripping you to keep things as they are without her having to put on a real effort. I'd you acknowledged your drinking problem and is dealing with it and that's the only thing she can hold against you, she has nothing anymore and is trying to keep control over you with that. The person who cares the least in a relationship is the person who controls it, you should just leave.
As a gay Jew from a gay Jewish family, I can confirm that this is a thing
I’m worried that this will happen. That I’ll just have to start meeting my own needs and prioritize myself the way he isn’t, and we’ll just drift further apart until we fade into nothing. If I stop asking him out and making plans, we just won’t do anything. It all seems so depressing. I feel like I’ve been consistently putting in 100% of my effort into this since the beginning, and he’ll jump in to participate when it benefits and gratifies him, but if there’s any amount of discomfort or it feels inconvenient to him, he just seems uninterested in participating. When things are good and it benefits him to participate, it’s wonderful and I feel like our relationship is perfect. But I’ve always worried that he’s mostly just interested in meeting his own needs and not really invested in meeting mine, especially he doesn’t get anything from it.
The purpose of dating is to see if you’re a good fit. You two are not a good fit. There’s no fixing it. He is who he is, you are who you are.
Why don’t you want to spend holidays with her?
Even when she didn’t interact or block him, it was still a choice to allow him to keep messaging her. Whether it’s validation or having a hookup on standby is another story.
i couldnt do anything legal because i technically worked illegally then. it would've backfired badly on me im just thankful i didnt get scrutinised back then
man if my girlfriend gave me money instead of birthday presents on my birthday she wouldn't be my girlfriend much longer.
money is not a gift. and it never will be.
I actually graduated have high school when I was 17. We got married 7 months after I graduated, 4 months after I turned 18.
M has the right to change her religious ideologies, no matter what. She does not have the right to demand you change yours.
You two are therefore incompatible. I would leave the moment someone told me to believe in god or else. Why does this indicate cheating to you, though?
I will say, yes you did cheat. The moment you started playing along with her “NSFW” nonsense is when you started cheating (maybe even before that). I don't care how hot that is, if you're in a relationship, you shut that shit down the moment it's sent and block them. There's so much wrong with this it.
You did not let her convince you she changed. You're 27. You made an informed decision and chose M over your relationship with S, despite the dangers of getting into another unhappy relationship (and voila).
I don't mean to be harsh, but you really need to grow the F up.
Get out of this relationship. Stay single for a bit, and figure out what it is you want and need in life and how you can be a better partner/person in future relationships. Also, recognise where you went wrong with all of this and where your faults lie.
I hope S is far happier and has found/finds someone who can appreciate and love her the way she deserves.
Don’t do that, he sucks and is mean to you.
You've told him what you need, he won't do it, so leave.
I do find it incredibly petty, though. Why would you want insincere comments that you are forcing someone to give you?
The sooner you dump him, the sooner you can get him out.
She won't answer, we all know it.
Just like the question about how she talks about her bestie and what expectations she places on a potential date.
It seems, there was a post of similar nature where that post's OP was making a potential partner third wheeling every date by bringing their bestie every time.
If “I don't love her anymore” isn't enough to end it, maybe staying in a loveless relationship for a longer duration than you would've hoped, might be.
In short, just end it. Either you actually talk about how you wanna fix the bedroom issue or move on. Cannot have both. Just end it man. You're gonna be sad and cry for a bit after, but if you don't love her anymore, just let her go and stop being a burden to her.
I think it is because you now realize her morals don't aline with your own. She was and still is perfectly okay with having an affair for almost half a year. And if she doesn't mind doing that to someone else then she probably wouldn't mind doing it to you too.
Honestly for me this would probably be a deal breaker. It's not just the fact that she had an affair it's that she doesn't feel she did anything wrong too. Big red flag there.
Maybe he’s a closeted straight.
Then don't date or marry a single mom. Problem solved for you. Now if you don't mind, we were all discussing OP's issue and not your personal feelings about becoming a stepparent.
Not to whitewasgh what a jerk he is… but odds are he did'nt give you cancer from her.
Over 80% of sexually active people have HPV anyway, odds are if neither of you were virgins when you got married, both likely had the virus exposure already.
Get the mothafukc out
I guess from a outsiders pov is this enough to end a marriage? And def. Getting tested
Drunk or otherwise impaired people cannot consent. She was assaulted and definitely taken advantage of by this guy. She got herself drunk. Even so that’s not a reason to ignore the guy’s behavior. He is in the wrong here, big time.
So it sounds like she is doing all she can to make amends and solve the issues. I’m inclined to give her an honest chance.
he also doesn’t understand why i cried for this.
Im sure he would understand if you made a similar comment about his genitals. What an ass.
Your marriage is in trouble. Couples counseling. Make the time for that if you want this to work.
Don't smother him when that killed his last relationship. Women like to build castles in the air but it's too soon. If the relationship doesn't progress- you know, things like birthdays and holidays together, weekend trips etc. Then that is a concern. The next 6 months will tell.
I was going to say……. WHY would anyone think this is a good idea
Yes you sound a bit jealous here and too involved. You however do have every right to be upset on your friend bailing on you. Communicate to her you are happy she has found someone and they seem good together but if she could consider you and existing plans in the future.
Hoooo, I would throw this one back in the pond.
It definitely is over. Just end it. His request is ridiculous. He can fuck around, but you have to be faithful. Either he keeps it in his pants if you are, or you both open to explore. Don't put up with his BS.
I've chosen to love him. I didn't know this would affect me so badly. I've my own demons, I'm no saint. I start shouting, trying to vandalize stuff. I hate this side of me, what i become. I've my demons, I've depression and anxiety, I've bad temper but I know my limits. I talk shit a lot in my anger but I would never hurt someone. Never. But now, I'm starting to hurt him and myself.
Yeah, well you’ll have to find somebody who’s going to be OK with you hanging out with your old threesome partners. Good luck finding that guy. I’m sure he’s out there somewhere. Not too many guys want that dynamic in their relationship.