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What's weird to me, is telling you.
If he wants to do it, he could do it without you noticing. But he wanted you to know and hear (you can definitely not make sound or mute the microphone for a few seconds). That's the icky thing here.
He was imposing a sexual atmosphere while you were only in a friendship setup. I guess he thought maybe you'd like that he. Did this and it would turn you on and get things going in a more sex oriented way.
But doing it out of nowhere, when you haven't been flirting or talking about rekindling things is just selfish and ego centered. He didn't care what you wanted
Freezing eggs doesn't have a great success rate. On average, only about 50% of the eggs even survive thawing if the woman they are retrieved from is over 35. The quality of the eggs will also not be ideal, so some or all of the surviving ones may be unusable. Considering that embryo implantation is not guaranteed to take, all this means you should retrieve at least twice as many eggs as a younger wan would if you want decent odds that a successful pregnancy results from the retrieval procedure(s) and freezing of ovum.
Frozen embryos have a much better chance of resulting in a online birth compared to frozen eggs, especially in “advanced maternal age” circumstances (unfortunately any woman who gets pregnant and is over the age of 35 is automatically considered “high risk” due to it being considered a “geriatric pregnancy.”)
It's probably a much better idea for the OP to pick a sperm donor and freeze some embryos. That way she only has to undergo one retrieval cycle. The upsides of one retrieval cycle are that she will have a greater chance of being left with a decent amount of eggs, and not end up in early menopause. This buys her some time to find a new partner to try to have children with the old fashioned way/with less drastic fertility treatments, and, if that doesn't come to fruition, she has a good chance at getting embryos successfully implanted utilizing her own eggs.
I'm 34, so I've been looking into this stuff. It's unfortunate, but egg freezing is proving to be much less of a “failsafe” than it is often touted. I hope the OP is able to have the family she so desires.
This might not be what you want to hear, but you can’t fix this. It’s entirely in his hands what happens. Just let him know that you acknowledge and respect that he needs time and you’re ready to talk when he is.
This is hot to come back from. I would think long and very hot about why you keep sex videos with exes and if it’s really worth it.
My husband and I have an open marriage and our 14th anniversary is coming up.
That said, OP, do NOT NOT NOT let her bully you into having an open relationship if you aren't 100% comfortable with it. If your relationship orientation is monogamous and hers isn't, this is a fundamental incompatibility that can only end in a dumpster fire. It's definitely better to break it off now with a “we are absolutely not compatible and we are going to wind up resenting each other at best” talk while you can both still be amicable and possibly even stay as platonic friends.
If one partner grudgingly agrees to the other's terms, it's doomed to fail. Either you will always be jealous and resentful, to the point of seeing even innocent situations as being sexual or romantic, or she's going to wind up cheating on you. There's no saving this relationship. The responsible thing to do is end it now before you waste more time in something that can't work…. and DEFINITELY BEFORE THERE'S A KID.
You are right. My mind was so fogged up before or maybe just too in love. After her reaction I see more clearly that he could've done much more to protect this relationship. Also sorry for yelling at u in the other comment
And this is when you find out Reddit has a hot time with anything more subtle than “Do you wanna f*ck ?”
FFS people, are you incapable of reading the subtext ? The whole invite screams “I'm interested” and he's giving her an out.
It's like when a friend invited me for “coffee” at her place at 2am. IT WASN'T ABOUT THE DAMN COFFEE.
Especially not someone who's obsessed with getting in bed with “virgins”, that's both gross and alarming since that means that he might go after teens just to be sure to get his trophy.
Nothing to add, but the way you describe your wife makes me think of my own and it made me smile. How much you love her oozes out of the words in your posts. I wish you both the best
I have family members like this. I do not respond well to guilt trips and in fact they have the complete opposite effect on me.
I maybe would have felt a little guilt about something that might not be entirely my fault cause that's who I am. Try to use that thing to leverage guilt outa me? Nope, go fuck yourself and whatever made you feel bad.
We weren't there when she told you about it and you know her best, so you are going to have to figure out what is true for your situation.
It's possible she kissed this guy and it was her “wake-up call” that she had checked out of her relationship with you. Did she say who initiated the kiss? Like was it a single kiss she let happen because she was caught off guard or did she initiate it? Was it more of a make-out session she put the breaks on because she is still technically in a relationship? Was she having an emotional affair with this person before it turned physical? Was there inappropriate texting/ conversations leading up to the kiss? Has she addressed why she let it get to that point and what she would do differently going forward to avoid it happening again? Depending on the answers here, I think there is some nuances that could make a big difference in how you can move forward or even if you should.
I wouldn't do any big grand romantic gestures unless that is something she specifically has addressed as being an issue (we don't go on dates, you don't make me feel special, etc.). Make a list about what you love about her/ makes her special/parts of the relationship you value and then think about those. Do you support each other? Do you push each other to be better? What would you miss about her if she wasn't in your life anymore? Etc. Only you know if your feelings are rooted in the right place or out of jealousy.
I really do believe that the feelings in relationships wax and wane over time, but the relationships that last are the ones where you put in the effort to prioritize each other and work at keeping the fires burning when you notice they aren't as bright as you want them to be. So what does effort look like to her? Date nights? More help around the house? Telling her shes pretty/smart/you love her/are proud of her more? More intimacy? Just more of your time/attention in general?
If she is asking for space, you should give it but also put time limits around coming back to talk/re-visit the conversation. Does she need a week? Two? What time frame are you ok with? What does “space” look like since you are living together? Does one of you stay with a friend? Sleep in a spare room? Do you still eat dinner together? Respect what she asks for and really try and listen, but you need to respect yourself too.
She did mess up in a pretty significant way and while you understand the slip because you know you aren't in a great place an explanation is not an excuse. So think about what you need too. If you do move forward and try to make it work, I would advise regular check-ins (like monthly) where you talk open and honestly about how you both are feeling and if both of you are getting your needs met.
Reddit hates cheaters (not exactly a fan myself) so most advice is going to be to break up, but real life isn't always that black and white and if you want to move past a kiss I don't think that makes you fool. She was honest about it and doesn't seem to be “trickle truthing” you. She stopped it before it got too far. Would it have been better if she came to you when she realized she WANTED to kiss someone else? Yup, but people are only human and make mistakes. You have decide where your own lines are and hold to them.
Yes I feel like she’s too comfortable so there’s no sense of urgency to resolve her issue. I mean I’m pretty much there all the time anyways so I don’t think that’s it and she’s not rude or anything I’m trying be honest as possible with this post. But yes I agree that’s why I wanted him to give her a deadline.
Oh, I see. Typo, my bad. I meant to say:
“She’s trying to take HER daughter.”
I agree that my MIL is the problem here, and I plan on enjoying the last few days of this pregnancy with just my wife.
I didn't inform women about him, i did the opposite. I asked the community if they had some information on this guy that i really needed to know.
I didn't accuse him of anything.
I know. Sounds like I shouldn’t reach out then.
Are Netflix passwords “emergencies?”