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Yeah, that first one really weirded me out.
How someone treats children, the elderly and animals tells you a lot about them. Don’t doubt yourself.
I think you’re mad that people are agreeing with me and not with you
maybe I'm reading too much into it but it sounds like the partner is treating this like an argument and has backed OP into a corner to some extent. OP shouldn't have to feel like she needs a coherent bulletproof argument about why she thinks sending nudes is cheating. that's a likely red flag imo
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Just curious, 6 years and she's not been like this until..this year.. you say? Then something must have changed. Did you cheat on her or did she catch you flirting with other people or having some sort of a 'thing' with other people?
I got to say, her reaction is very much an overreaction, almost like she's so afraid you'd cheat on her or whatnot. She's not your mother, so she shouldn't be checking up on you like that, seriously, and this is coming from someone who used to be very insecure about her partners in the past.
The reason I think she's insecure or afraid that you'd cheat is because I have done this in the past, with my ex-fiance (whom I suspected was cheating on me, but I never had proof, not until I dumped him and I found out that he really did cheat on me).
So your gf is likely to suspect you of 'something.' Or you're straying or about to. For me, I was not like that in the beginning of my relationship with my ex (we're together for 6 years too). But the last couple of years, I didn't feel 'comfy' with him ever, like I couldn't really 'relax' and feel secure with him. I also realized he was treating other women better than me…so I got very suspicious of him, insecure, jealous, etc. He of course, called me a controlling witch, etc. I found clues that he was not faithful, but I couldn't prove it so I got paranoid and controlling.
Of course, I'm not like this at all with my current partner, because I feel secure with him. My guess is your gf doesn't trust you. That, and combination that she feels that you prioritize others and are nicer/more considerate to others compared to how you treat her.
Whether or not you want to dump her over this, of course, you can dump her over ANY reasons. But yeah, I'm just giving you a peek if you don't understand her at all, she may not trust you that's why she's acting this way.
I don’t care much about the gifts, i’m just trying to give perspective by mentioning that. I think the real issue I have is her acting ungrateful at my family’s Christmas while expecting me to act fine at her family’s Christmas. It’s me apologizing and wanting to work through it and her saying she’s depressed and can’t put in the effort. It’s me paying for everything (rent, vacations, clothes, etc.) and never hearing thank you. I just don’t think she’s able to reciprocate and she’s taking me for granted thinking I’ll do whatever makes her happy. Idk.
Being heavy does not meant being unhealthy. And trust me, she does not need you to tell her she’s put on weight, she’s aware. All you’re doing is shaming her for it through the lens of ‘health’. If she’s telling you to never bring it up again, then never bring it up again. She doesn’t need you to Google things on her behalf. If it’s this big a problem for you, break it off and move on.
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Oh dear. I was in your shoes once, around the same age too. The only difference was I married the guy and had a baby with him. My now ex could be so fun and sweet and I LOVED that side of him. It’s what kept me around. But he was also mean and rude. He’d call me names and yell. He’d accuse me of cheating when I couldn’t constantly text him while I was working. He was terrible with money and I had to cover our bills. All of the cooking and cleaning fell on me as well as childcare. My ex was always finding reasons to dislike my family and friends and tried isolating me from them. After only two miserable years of marriage, I divorced him.
Trust me when I say, you need to leave this man. It’s very telling that his own mother has made the observations that you have to walk on eggshells around him and that he’s mean to you. That is no way to live your life. At this point in your life, your boyfriend should be like a partner and an equal. This man is neither. Also, the “play” biting and pinching is straight up abuse. In what world is there such a thing as play biting and pinching??? (maybe in some contexts where explicit consent is given but this is clearly not that). The pinching and biting is physical ABUSE. You are in an abusive relationship.
Do you have family/friends that can support you, either locally or a distance? You need to pack up your things and leave without him being present. I would bet money that his behavior will escalate if/when you break up and leave.
I really feel for you because I know how very hot it is when you’re really in the thick of a relationship like this. It’s nude to break up with someone when you’ve changed so much of your life to be with them, online together and still love them. And even despite all of the things he does, you clearly have a good heart because you’re more concerned about how crushed he will be if you leave. You deserve to put yourself and your feelings first, because that’s what he’s been doing the entirety of your relationship- putting himself first. You deserve better.
“it was nice knowing you!”
It wouldn't be right to intervene in someone's life like that. She can make her own decisions. And with that in mind I wouldn't be friends with coke dealers.
there was a breach and you made it a canyon.
she confess and made all it take to avoid aggravating a situation she has no power on. either you really love your wife and she allow her to be happy, or you are mad angry and you dynamited your family life.
the result will be the same.
I like how your neighbor bears absolutely no responsibility for her relationship, it's just a pure appeal to victimhood. But any woman who goes out of their way to choose douchebags will surely be stuck with the inevitable negative consequences of being partnered with a douchebag, won't they? So, maybe don't actively pursue the douchebags?
Women choose men. Tell your neighbor to choose better!
Instant mash. Add milk. Done.
Thank you. This feeling of uneasiness isn't passing though, it's like whenever I look at him I see what I saw and it makes me feel sick. You're right though, I need to relax and let this pass
Tinder is straight up booty calls for the desperate!!! Possibly 10% of people I found a solid relationship on that site. The rest straight up use it for booty calls, you know it's true, that's why everyone else who talks about it, says how they met a person and hooked up with them on the first night!!
Just like OP said she did!!
Don't call me a troll for making sense of what a person's trying to say!!
Thank you, I might try something along those lines, maybe just switching up the way we do things will help
I mean, this isn't about your friends at this point, this is a sign of your character as a person and helps show your immaturity and unreliability. You seem to be incredibly upset at your friend for sharing a not-so-important piece of info with your other friend, but you can't honestly say you've never done the same with these friends, too? Talked about one to the other? It's kind of normal that it happens sometimes and doesn't make anyone a good or bad friend.
What DOES make you seem like a bad partner, though, is lying directly to your bf. You definitely did lie blatantly to him. What if you found out something similar about a friend in his circle that you all hang out with? I bet you'd be REALLY upset.
And it sounds like you're unhappy with how he speaks to his ex flings. Have you talked to him about it? What does he think? If you guys can't agree, maybe you aren't a great match. Does he get overly jealous? Are you AFRAID to tell him you hooked up with this guy you were talking to for awhile? Then you definitely aren't a good match. It sounds unhealthy.
Yeah, your friends shouldn't have shared this with your bf. Every step of this story sounds pretty immature and poorly handled by you and your “friends”. But the direct lies are a concern and show you aren't an honest partner.
ANOTHER QUESTION: You said your bf communicates badly. How exactly did he respond to what your friends said? Yelling, insults, etc.?
FWIW it's standard police procedure not to pass along suicide notes unless explicitly requested.
And even then it's given over in a sealed envelope with a very strongly worded advisement NOT to read it.
Suicide notes are generally written when the person who committed suicide are in their worst mental state and not a true reflection of who they were.
Oy vey hope someone sees this
This is extremely relevant information that should be part of the OP, and would dramatically change my view on staying.
If it was just that you and she were incompatible, it makes sense to stay to support her. But if she sucks as a person and a partner, why be a friend to her when she isn’t a friend or kind back?
Communication is key. Talk to her about it. Create an open dialogue. Every woman is different. I've been with women who said I've hurt them with my size, while I've been with some where I've had to make adjustments to hit the right spots. If you care about eachother you'll explore this together. Pretending it didn't happen will only get in your head.
Yes I talked to my bf and he will not interact except greetings.
As someone who always questions if I really have friends it’s nice to know apparently only twins do
Yes. I'm sorry, man. Take your time to heal, these scenarios are never easy. I was in one too. There is nothing wrong with you as far as I can tell, it was her and she decided to do the healthy thing and let you live your better life.
One I remember from high school: “If I wanted to hear from an arsehole, I would have farted!”
There’s several factors that could go into It, which I do recommend you try therapy to see if that’s what’s happening here. But sometimes people don’t really like the person they’re pining after, they just enjoy the chase, so once the chase is over they lose interest.
Unless you told him that choking was your thing, he should have kept his hands off of you. If he calls the cops, be honest with them. It's not likely that anything will come of it.
Now… about your old fwb… is she interested in a relationship now? She seems reliable and caring. Why not just try to take it to the next level. You’re obviously a good sexual match. I wouldn’t buy a rabbit together though. F26, presumably now your ex, seems pretty volatile.
Literally. My nephew is 7 and knows what cheating is and knows it's wrong. Idk how he knew, but he did.
Why didn't you give your room to your sister and her kids and sleep on the couch yourself?
What sort of money is your sister contributing to the household?
Thanks for your comment, I really appreciate your advice.
I’m a very honest and straightforward person, so by “something unnecessarily mean” I’m referring to letting the part about the physical aspect of the relationship slip out. Tbh even just saying that it’s not working out is gonna make me feel like a major asshole
thank you. i’ve tried telling him that, i think the most important thing you can give someone is your love and care and the rest of your life. he thinks the most important thing a woman m can give someone is her virginity.
Yikes.