It isn’t bad for a child to sleep in the same bed as a parent from time to time, it’s a normal thing even for us white people.
Buttt, this is a case of the parent’s boyfriend sleeping in the same bed as the child. I don’t have kids, and I’ve never been the other adult in this situation, but still….I dunno, I’d feel a certain way about it too if I was in his shoes
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I love my girlfriend, more than most things i have in my life. I met her 2 years ago and i am still with her to this day.
At first in the relastionship when we were just starting to do sexual things it was not a big deal to me at all because i never really excpect of her to make me cum.
But, as it went on and it was becoming regular for us to be doing things like that. The “sessions” were becoming much longer and she would cum every time. Wether it was me eating her out, fingering her, fucking her you name it, every single time she came and then that was it.
But anyways, this cycle has been reapeating where she giving me head or something for 30 minutes that turns into an hour and i just simply do not cum.
She basically just gets bored and i dont blame her because obviously.
Its starting to become an issue because she apologises to me every time shes “finished” and gets in this pissy mood like its my fault.
Im not saying its her fault, it could be mine idk if i just last super long or what but, its never happened.
PS> I DO NOT WATCH PORN AT ALL OR MASTURBATE MUCH. Any advice ?
Maybe just a yellow flag, not a red one. For purposes of this question, I would say that “in a relationship” includes a relationship in which the parties are just exploring the possibilities, even if they are in several such relationships at the same time.
Some people are so much in demand that people will line up for them whenever one of their relationships ends. Fair enough.
The people to be concerned about are the monkey-branchers. These people break up mentally, but don't let the other person know about it until they have their next person all ready to step in. This is often done so as not to lose some financial or other benefit that the monkey-brancher receives from the person they are leading on. This sort of deception can go on for months, or even years in the worst cases.
Professionals have standards, OP. Be professional and leave this guy, like, immediately.
There's zero reason to stay with a person who contracts parasites and diseases from the fact that he touches feces and doesn't wash his hands, and then allows you to get sick before telling you.
For that matter, just the not handwashing is gross, even if he didn't have actual shit covering them. Girl you need to fucking run
You were a people pleaser, and this is the person that your bf knows and fell in love with. So yes he loves the “perfect” version of you, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you as a whole though.
You are now being more assertive, and he he is saying that while what you ask for is good, how you ask isn’t, and rather than explore that, you ignore it – basically confirming what he is saying. Being assertive is good, but in a relationship, which is supposed to be about compromise, sharing your lives etc, you have to listen and take onboard what the other person is saying (within reason of course) you sound like you have gone from one extreme to the other, rather than stopping in the middle, which is where a good relationship should sit.
His actions when you want to talk about how you are feeling, these are way less than desired, and definitely not what anyone deserves. His role isn’t to ‘fix’ anything, it’s to be there, to listen, to support, and if he can’t see that, then he is not ready to be in a relationship.
So regardless of if he loves you as a whole, it’s probably best to end your relationship, be it for good, or a short time while you both work on yourselves before getting back together.
All this ? and therapy if you're able to do so. The best revenge is to start living your best life. It's fucked up that she betrayed you like this but I wouldn't even bother confronting her because she really isn't worth your time. Please take care of yourself! Small steps, eat a healthy meal (or just eat something, tbh), get 20 minutes of sunlight a day if you can, and stay hydrated.
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No, I mean nothing like meeting someone else if that is what you are referring too. It was a very stressful and also very exciting time (I had never been overseas before) and saying goodbye to my boyfriend at the time was super emotional, but after a few weeks I just didn't miss him anymore. I thought it would be so amazing to see him again, but it was honestly just awkward for me and I could feel how hurt he was by the fact that I didn't think about him that much.
The hot truth here is that you should feel bad for telling him, not because of the facts that exist, but how and when you chose to tell him.
You should absolutely be able to communicate your needs. But you’ve been unhappy for some time and said nothing. You then offered him oral sex and he suggested you’d give him blue balls because he probably wouldn’t finish given the timing. That was him being honest, not malicious.
Your response was malicious. That’s why you’re in the wrong. You’ve told us that he doesn’t put enough effort in. That you haven’t ever finished. You then complain about frequency.
All of these concerns are completely reasonable. But when they arise, the solution is to discuss them and find a sustainable solution as a team. It’s not to hold it in and then insult him out of the blue when he doesn’t even know he’s done something wrong.
What further supports him is the fact that he seems to legitimately care about your satisfaction. If he weren’t doing it, you told him in the moment, and he brushed you off, that’d be one thing. But you haven’t said here that you’ve brought any of this up.
The only message delivered is that you’re a jerk. Stop being passive aggressive.
sounds like high school drama and you're sleeping with them, sporadically? So it's okay to occasionally sleep together but he can't look up her skirt?
No wonder he's depressed and weird.
We live! in a world where accusations can *DESTROY* your future and this “girl” that you're occasionally sleeping with is saying that he “looked”? lol what?
offered that I could move in with Y & D if I wanted to
Yeah… D will love that. He can ask you to make out more often when she's not there.
I don’t know who to believe.
The accusations are spurious on the surface and without actual proof should be treated as such.
You should break up with your “best friend”. And her boyfriend. I don't know if I would go scorched earth (“ask him to stop trying to make out with me behind your back”) as that would be gasoline on the fire… but at the very least? Look at this weak accusation from a males perspective who can lose everything based on a crap accusation. No wonder he's looking at alternatives with you supporting her and her making an accusation that would destroy most people with *ZERO* supporting evidence.
If you boyfriend didn't like you, he wouldn't be with you. It doesn't make sense you get jealous about it. BUT if porn is a redline for you, and he doesn't want to listen, just dump him girl. Stand your ground.
You have every right to set your boundaries so that they align with your values. The fact that you’ve talked to him about this and that he hasn’t respected your boundaries puts the ball in your court.
You have two options: relax the boundaries, or enforce them. That can look like an ultimatum, you could just leave, or you could get some people he trusts to help confront him. But at the end of the day, he is violating your boundaries, and you are worth more than that.
You need to take a deep breath and pull on your big girl pants here. You are an adult now and you do not need to take any shit or let any other adults push you around and make you do anything you do not want to do. You cannot afford to be a pushover, this is a permanent life-altering decision that cannot be taken back after the fact. You and only you are in charge of your body, your decisions, and your life.
You are absolutely right to get an abortion at your age when you do not want and are not ready for a baby. You are protecting your own future, and (if you want to have them) your own future children from achieving the life you really want.
Call the service that sent you the pills and see if they will be willing to replace them as you did not receive them. If not, you can go to planned parenthood (I understand they have low cost options based on income) or go balls to the wall and tell the thieves (yes, your bf’s parents) that they stole your property and must give it back now or you will call the police. And then if they do not cough up you follow through and do it.
You can stand up for yourself, and you do not have to care about other people’s opinions. You are the one that has to live! with your decisions. Get big, get angry, as you should be. They are 100% out of line and need to get out of your uterus.
He's been exposing you to STDs and you feel the need to apologize because you invaded his privacy? Absolutely not. I really think you need to think about if this man loves or respects you or not because currently it doesn't seem like he does. He's been cheating on you, and has zero intentions to stop and has zero intentions of telling you that he's been cheating on you. You deserve better.
This is the most blatant creative-writing bullshit fake post I've seen this week. How to people read this crap and think “that's a genuine post from a real person”?
Backpedal- “reverse one's previous action or opinion.” They just opened the relationship for the first time, neither of them established the rules for their open relationship before agreeing, and he unknowingly crossed a boundary for her. She didn't establish this boundary for the relationship before, at least from the information we've been given. How is he to know what line he crossed and how he crossed it?
My dilemma is should I just break it off with my gf because I don’t know if I would regret only ever being with one girl in my life. But also why would I break up a perfectly good relationship where I truly see her as the love of my life??
Sounds like a gamble. In the end, does getting some strange sound more fulfilling than living out your life with the person you love? Just know that odds are you'll fall victim to the whole “the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence” thing. From experience, and something I've heard from many others, casual sex is just weird and awkward. Far superior when done with someone that you're 100% comfortable with and knows what you like.
Are there any alternatives like polyamory? And has anyone had similar experiences?
I have never heard of a years long monogamous relationship living through that and very few living past even the mention of it – including one of my own.
My advice is to prepare yourself for the day when he's honest that he has cheated, but it's okay, because you've known all along that he has 'this problem'.
You have communicated your feelings and boundaries about her constantly venting to you, now back it up. Stop talking to her outside of any friends group activities, no answering texts, no answering phone calls and if she is knocking on your door you ain’t home. Be pleasant and enjoy her company via friends group only. If you keep letting her tromp on your mental health you will be the one needing therapy.
Let me compare okay? My partner of 13 years was also divorcing when we met. Gathering up money for a lawyer, still living together but absolutely separated because she cheated multiple times.
I came out of nowhere for him too.
When we hit it off and he knew he wanted to be with me, he put things in motion and made it clear that either she had to leave or he would and he was paying the rent so she went to her mom's. We didn't say “I love you” until 3 months in and he thought it was too early for him to say it (he said it first) because of the headspace it takes to leave a marriage and enter a new relationship.
Y'all are saying I love you everyday at 2 months in and there is no signs of him or her leaving the home. That is love bombing and gaslighting. It's not going to end well and unless you've met the husband I wonder if he really knows about you at all.
It isn’t bad for a child to sleep in the same bed as a parent from time to time, it’s a normal thing even for us white people.
Buttt, this is a case of the parent’s boyfriend sleeping in the same bed as the child. I don’t have kids, and I’ve never been the other adult in this situation, but still….I dunno, I’d feel a certain way about it too if I was in his shoes
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I love my girlfriend, more than most things i have in my life. I met her 2 years ago and i am still with her to this day.
At first in the relastionship when we were just starting to do sexual things it was not a big deal to me at all because i never really excpect of her to make me cum.
But, as it went on and it was becoming regular for us to be doing things like that. The “sessions” were becoming much longer and she would cum every time. Wether it was me eating her out, fingering her, fucking her you name it, every single time she came and then that was it.
But anyways, this cycle has been reapeating where she giving me head or something for 30 minutes that turns into an hour and i just simply do not cum.
She basically just gets bored and i dont blame her because obviously.
Its starting to become an issue because she apologises to me every time shes “finished” and gets in this pissy mood like its my fault.
Im not saying its her fault, it could be mine idk if i just last super long or what but, its never happened.
PS> I DO NOT WATCH PORN AT ALL OR MASTURBATE MUCH. Any advice ?
I think you cut your losses and move along.
Maybe just a yellow flag, not a red one. For purposes of this question, I would say that “in a relationship” includes a relationship in which the parties are just exploring the possibilities, even if they are in several such relationships at the same time.
Some people are so much in demand that people will line up for them whenever one of their relationships ends. Fair enough.
The people to be concerned about are the monkey-branchers. These people break up mentally, but don't let the other person know about it until they have their next person all ready to step in. This is often done so as not to lose some financial or other benefit that the monkey-brancher receives from the person they are leading on. This sort of deception can go on for months, or even years in the worst cases.
Professionals have standards, OP. Be professional and leave this guy, like, immediately.
There's zero reason to stay with a person who contracts parasites and diseases from the fact that he touches feces and doesn't wash his hands, and then allows you to get sick before telling you.
For that matter, just the not handwashing is gross, even if he didn't have actual shit covering them. Girl you need to fucking run
Let’s break it down into parts.
You were a people pleaser, and this is the person that your bf knows and fell in love with. So yes he loves the “perfect” version of you, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you as a whole though.
You are now being more assertive, and he he is saying that while what you ask for is good, how you ask isn’t, and rather than explore that, you ignore it – basically confirming what he is saying. Being assertive is good, but in a relationship, which is supposed to be about compromise, sharing your lives etc, you have to listen and take onboard what the other person is saying (within reason of course) you sound like you have gone from one extreme to the other, rather than stopping in the middle, which is where a good relationship should sit.
His actions when you want to talk about how you are feeling, these are way less than desired, and definitely not what anyone deserves. His role isn’t to ‘fix’ anything, it’s to be there, to listen, to support, and if he can’t see that, then he is not ready to be in a relationship.
So regardless of if he loves you as a whole, it’s probably best to end your relationship, be it for good, or a short time while you both work on yourselves before getting back together.
All this ? and therapy if you're able to do so. The best revenge is to start living your best life. It's fucked up that she betrayed you like this but I wouldn't even bother confronting her because she really isn't worth your time. Please take care of yourself! Small steps, eat a healthy meal (or just eat something, tbh), get 20 minutes of sunlight a day if you can, and stay hydrated.
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No, I mean nothing like meeting someone else if that is what you are referring too. It was a very stressful and also very exciting time (I had never been overseas before) and saying goodbye to my boyfriend at the time was super emotional, but after a few weeks I just didn't miss him anymore. I thought it would be so amazing to see him again, but it was honestly just awkward for me and I could feel how hurt he was by the fact that I didn't think about him that much.
Break it off with him, guarantee you he will break up with you very soon now he has realised your real age.
The hot truth here is that you should feel bad for telling him, not because of the facts that exist, but how and when you chose to tell him.
You should absolutely be able to communicate your needs. But you’ve been unhappy for some time and said nothing. You then offered him oral sex and he suggested you’d give him blue balls because he probably wouldn’t finish given the timing. That was him being honest, not malicious.
Your response was malicious. That’s why you’re in the wrong. You’ve told us that he doesn’t put enough effort in. That you haven’t ever finished. You then complain about frequency.
All of these concerns are completely reasonable. But when they arise, the solution is to discuss them and find a sustainable solution as a team. It’s not to hold it in and then insult him out of the blue when he doesn’t even know he’s done something wrong.
What further supports him is the fact that he seems to legitimately care about your satisfaction. If he weren’t doing it, you told him in the moment, and he brushed you off, that’d be one thing. But you haven’t said here that you’ve brought any of this up.
The only message delivered is that you’re a jerk. Stop being passive aggressive.
She likes attention from other men, regardless of whether she's in a relationship or not. If you have a problem with that, dump her.
You’re single my guy move on
sounds like high school drama and you're sleeping with them, sporadically? So it's okay to occasionally sleep together but he can't look up her skirt?
No wonder he's depressed and weird.
We live! in a world where accusations can *DESTROY* your future and this “girl” that you're occasionally sleeping with is saying that he “looked”? lol what?
offered that I could move in with Y & D if I wanted to
Yeah… D will love that. He can ask you to make out more often when she's not there.
I don’t know who to believe.
The accusations are spurious on the surface and without actual proof should be treated as such.
You should break up with your “best friend”. And her boyfriend. I don't know if I would go scorched earth (“ask him to stop trying to make out with me behind your back”) as that would be gasoline on the fire… but at the very least? Look at this weak accusation from a males perspective who can lose everything based on a crap accusation. No wonder he's looking at alternatives with you supporting her and her making an accusation that would destroy most people with *ZERO* supporting evidence.
If you boyfriend didn't like you, he wouldn't be with you. It doesn't make sense you get jealous about it. BUT if porn is a redline for you, and he doesn't want to listen, just dump him girl. Stand your ground.
You are not crazy.
You have every right to set your boundaries so that they align with your values. The fact that you’ve talked to him about this and that he hasn’t respected your boundaries puts the ball in your court.
You have two options: relax the boundaries, or enforce them. That can look like an ultimatum, you could just leave, or you could get some people he trusts to help confront him. But at the end of the day, he is violating your boundaries, and you are worth more than that.
You need to take a deep breath and pull on your big girl pants here. You are an adult now and you do not need to take any shit or let any other adults push you around and make you do anything you do not want to do. You cannot afford to be a pushover, this is a permanent life-altering decision that cannot be taken back after the fact. You and only you are in charge of your body, your decisions, and your life.
You are absolutely right to get an abortion at your age when you do not want and are not ready for a baby. You are protecting your own future, and (if you want to have them) your own future children from achieving the life you really want.
Call the service that sent you the pills and see if they will be willing to replace them as you did not receive them. If not, you can go to planned parenthood (I understand they have low cost options based on income) or go balls to the wall and tell the thieves (yes, your bf’s parents) that they stole your property and must give it back now or you will call the police. And then if they do not cough up you follow through and do it.
You can stand up for yourself, and you do not have to care about other people’s opinions. You are the one that has to live! with your decisions. Get big, get angry, as you should be. They are 100% out of line and need to get out of your uterus.
He's been exposing you to STDs and you feel the need to apologize because you invaded his privacy? Absolutely not. I really think you need to think about if this man loves or respects you or not because currently it doesn't seem like he does. He's been cheating on you, and has zero intentions to stop and has zero intentions of telling you that he's been cheating on you. You deserve better.
This is the most blatant creative-writing bullshit fake post I've seen this week. How to people read this crap and think “that's a genuine post from a real person”?
If you want to, you should ask.
Backpedal- “reverse one's previous action or opinion.” They just opened the relationship for the first time, neither of them established the rules for their open relationship before agreeing, and he unknowingly crossed a boundary for her. She didn't establish this boundary for the relationship before, at least from the information we've been given. How is he to know what line he crossed and how he crossed it?
Screaming and self harming in front of an infant is absolutely outrageous behavior. Not acceptable.
My dilemma is should I just break it off with my gf because I don’t know if I would regret only ever being with one girl in my life. But also why would I break up a perfectly good relationship where I truly see her as the love of my life??
Sounds like a gamble. In the end, does getting some strange sound more fulfilling than living out your life with the person you love? Just know that odds are you'll fall victim to the whole “the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence” thing. From experience, and something I've heard from many others, casual sex is just weird and awkward. Far superior when done with someone that you're 100% comfortable with and knows what you like.
Are there any alternatives like polyamory? And has anyone had similar experiences?
I have never heard of a years long monogamous relationship living through that and very few living past even the mention of it – including one of my own.
There's no way he'd be able to get a restraining order for this.
My advice is to prepare yourself for the day when he's honest that he has cheated, but it's okay, because you've known all along that he has 'this problem'.
If this happens you have to STOP any action right then and there, absolutely don't let him continue. He has no concerns about how you feel.
Just do it.
Thanks for the wise words! I have long fall ahead, but maybe it really is time to jump. Im really starting to think that I expeced too much about us.
You have communicated your feelings and boundaries about her constantly venting to you, now back it up. Stop talking to her outside of any friends group activities, no answering texts, no answering phone calls and if she is knocking on your door you ain’t home. Be pleasant and enjoy her company via friends group only. If you keep letting her tromp on your mental health you will be the one needing therapy.
Let me compare okay? My partner of 13 years was also divorcing when we met. Gathering up money for a lawyer, still living together but absolutely separated because she cheated multiple times.
I came out of nowhere for him too.
When we hit it off and he knew he wanted to be with me, he put things in motion and made it clear that either she had to leave or he would and he was paying the rent so she went to her mom's. We didn't say “I love you” until 3 months in and he thought it was too early for him to say it (he said it first) because of the headspace it takes to leave a marriage and enter a new relationship.
Y'all are saying I love you everyday at 2 months in and there is no signs of him or her leaving the home. That is love bombing and gaslighting. It's not going to end well and unless you've met the husband I wonder if he really knows about you at all.