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Yes. That’s the point. He’s dangerous.
What does that change? You’re in a tough financial spot so you need to be creative about your solutions. Again, I understand your bf’s frustration with the living situation but the only decent choices he has is to suck it up and take the fake it till you make it approach or find somewhere else to live. Start putting timelines into your “indefinite” plan and work towards a long term solution.
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She doesn’t HAVE to do anything. But if she wants a relationship with her daughter and grand baby going forward, an olive branch or tiny commitment could go a long way.
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I completely agree with this.
i was only speaking about OP. If my partner went through effort and prepared a whole thing, I personally would've gone with it even if I weren't in the mood. Just because I knew she would be offended. To me it isn't that different from doing something else like going to a museum without being in the mood.
i understand that for some people sex has a higher meaning in regards to boundaries.
But it IS simply a question of how much you're not in the mood, vs how much she would be offended.
So he should have just had sex with her because she wanted to even though he didn’t? What kind of nonsense is that?
Do not move past this, break up and save yourself and your kid! That's abusive and aggressive behaviour and it won't get better with time.
That quote at the end really is life in a nutshell. Thanks for it never heard it before, but it is so true.
“19 and 27” it starts off bad.
“escort was 19” “predator thing going on” “sorry I'm not even asking a question”
You know the problem. You're too old for him.
Leave him and protect your children.
There’s only one part here that could be objectively concerning, and that’s when you said “she doesn’t feel the same towards me.” But I also said “could” for a reason, because I’d need more context around that. But I’ll get into it later, because I want to address your title and other things you mentioned around it.
As a general statement, it’s been a month. In saying that, you’ve spent 19 years of your life without her. Yet here you are. You survived. Why do I tell you that? Because you know you can live without her. What did you do before she existed?
Independence is important and healthy in a relationship. That means time to yourself and with friends, without your partner. It’s unhealthy to make your partner your entire life. It’s separately doesn’t show a lack of commitment to not make every waking minute of your life around your partner. So while she’s out living her life, you’re living miserably in slow motion. Why? Life doesn’t exist beyond her? I know it does, because I pointed out why earlier. So the advice is to make sure you have a life of your own. Then you won’t be staring at your phone on edge all day.
For the rest, I only have questions because I need more context to give proper advice. How are her parents controlling? How often can you see her? How often would you “like” to see her?
To bring it back to the beginning, why do you think she doesn’t feel the same way as you? Why would it be “fine?” It’s important context, because it will help me and us determine if you’re being unreasonable and are creating unrealistic expectations. You’ll have to let us know.
There’s only one part here that could be objectively concerning, and that’s when you said “she doesn’t feel the same towards me.” But I also said “could” for a reason, because I’d need more context around that. But I’ll get into it later, because I want to address your title and other things you mentioned around it.
As a general statement, it’s been a month. In saying that, you’ve spent 19 years of your life without her. Yet here you are. You survived. Why do I tell you that? Because you know you can live without her. What did you do before she existed?
Independence is important and healthy in a relationship. That means time to yourself and with friends, without your partner. It’s unhealthy to make your partner your entire life. It’s separately doesn’t show a lack of commitment to not make every waking minute of your life around your partner. So while she’s out living her life, you’re living miserably in slow motion. Why? Life doesn’t exist beyond her? I know it does, because I pointed out why earlier. So the advice is to make sure you have a life of your own. Then you won’t be staring at your phone on edge all day.
For the rest, I only have questions because I need more context to give proper advice. How are her parents controlling? How often can you see her? How often would you “like” to see her?
To bring it back to the beginning, why do you think she doesn’t feel the same way as you? Why would it be “fine?” It’s important context, because it will help me and us determine if you’re being unreasonable and are creating unrealistic expectations. You’ll have to let us know.
Hi sweetie. Mom here. Break up with him. You just don’t love him. You don’t need a why. Truthfully. We usually have some practice relationships before finding love. It’s how we learn. You aren’t happy. Break up with him.
Sounds to me like you need friends in your life you can talk to about your life. You want to share things with people other than just your partner.
That said, what does your husband say about this matter?
My family was solidly middle class so we never went to restaurants like this and I still know that if you're spending absurd amounts of money on high end experiences you don't make changes to the menu and no matter how low end you don't touch the fucking grill.
You can't help her. Period end of story..she's clearly not in a goodpalce if she tried to put an end to her life. She needs a professional not some guy she barely knows.
Toxic? I don't think we can say. Clingy? Yes, it sounds like it.
“Her fiancé already paid for my ticket though, and I think it would be unfair to all our friends and everyone else there to deny them from seeing me just because she is a little upset, but I also know it's “her day.””
This was your undoing. You sound like a real entitled self absorbed piece of work. I was on your sIde for about the first paragraph, she contributed to yours, and you cant be bothered to uphold your end of the deal, but you're just so popular and wanted by everyone that she shoukd pay for you to grace everyone with spectacular presence. Wtf. With that attitude in surprised she didn't HOT uninvited you.
You: Do you want to commit?
Him: No
You: * Doesn't commit *
Him: * Surprised Pikachu face *
It's not in-your-face misogyny but I'm sure you can see that the tradition of the wife taking the husbands last name (at least in the West, I don't know how other cultures handle last names) is, at the very least, a patriarchal structure that is rooted in misogyny.
If this was the mother being upset, is it still misogyny?
Women can be misogynists (or defend patriarchal culture) as well. Just like how men can be misandrists.
What does the word mean at this point
A lot of people use the term to just describe contexts that are misogynistic in nature. Just because someone says doing so-and-so is misogynistic, doesn't mean they're calling the person a woman beater. That commenter clearly thinks the grandfather sees women as less than men, but to be a bit charitable he could hold those views on last names for a number of different reasons. But he's still engaging with a patriarchal structure. It's still misogyny. Doesn't mean he's a bad person but it's worth calling out.
“he explained he was trying to troll and catch pedophiles on Omegle one night when he was bored. Kind of suspicious but him and his friends do this regularly at parties as it is quite a funny experience.”
What? That doesn't sound like a real thing; it sounds more like he has a friend group that likes creeping on underage girls (which is less weird than it might otherwise be since y'all are only 18 and were very recently also underage, but the excuses aren't a great look). Also, what would looking at and screenshotting girls' Instagram profiles have to do with catching pedophiles, especially on a completely different service?
“He’s also the kind of person to stop mid conversation to sit on his phone so how am I to know if that’s YouTube or tinder?”
I mean, that sounds like something of a problem in itself.
Why are you dating this boy? It sounds like you could have issues with disordered anxiety that you're going to need to resolve before you are capable of healthy relationships – if you feel like you need to check someone's phone at all, you probably shouldn't be in the relationship – and it also sounds like you have good reasons to be suspicious in this relationship, as well as just general issues if your boyfriend is regularly checking out of conversations with you to do whatever on his phone.
Break up, go to therapy.
cultural issues
Not an inssue but choice. Not everyone wants to bang away like western dating culture and then cry.
If you are seriously interested in trying to date, you really should address it head on.
It is super common that men just simply don’t pick up on signals until it’s too late.
Within your comfort level, you should ask them out directly
Definitely is more complicated in this situation, I was just weighing in with my experience.
I bought a house with someone I wasn't married to. We lived together for 38 years. We split almost 3 years ago and he bought me out. I think if you are reasonable people you'll probably be okay.
A relationship founded on deceit is not meant to last. I’d have to end this if I were you. Being lied to for an entire year is not ok, regardless of their reasoning.
Block number, stop fishing for attention, move on.
Oof sexism:(
I get this. I’m also happily single. It’s really hot for me to integrate people into my life because I value my freedom too much. Some women I know stopped dating because of bad experiences, which I get too. I think people assume women are always unwillingly single most of the time, when that’s not the case. I hate the “crazy cat lady” “spinster” nonsense, because those are both things I gladly aspire to.
Your boyfriend is a lunatic. This is such a non issue it would be laughable if it weren't for the fact he's acting like he just discovered you drowning a puppy. Seriously what ever flame exists between you two, put it out and move on. That reaction is beyond stupid.
It lists my comments because I don't delete them if they don't accrue enough karma before the comment gets crawled and archived by Google–pardon if that doesn't make sense, but my god, you've done this before, haven't you? In the posts that I've looked at through Unddit, the only username who had deleted their comments before archival was the OP's, but you wanna know who else was missing? Yours. The chances that you just so happened to also have deleted your comments separate from the OP without actually being the OP before they could be scanned and archived must be way higher than I thought. That, or Unddit isn't working?
You tell him that he is crossing a boundary and he needs to keep fiction and reality separate.
I can’t see anything on here anyone know why?
Clarification: You wanted to pawn the siblings off on your gf so you could keep your man date?
Ew guess women in his age range aren't as easy to manipulate, don't feel to bad for all you know she's posting on his profile aswell. I can almost guarantee it's not him or the relationship you miss it's hot to move on when you've had bad relationships I'd definitely talk to your partner about it.
I've done this in the past and my partners reassured me and even took the piss out of my ex (and his to) to make me feel better, is it the healthiest coping mechanism no but when you've been through alot it takes time to work through it especially if a situation pops up that takes you back to when you weren't in a good place.
I got married at 18 even though I had my doubts, and it was the single most stupid decision I have ever made. If you feel like you'll be throwing your life away, don't marry him. You just become an adult and so much willchanfe between now and when you're 25. Grow. Thrive. Be your own person before settling down.
Thank for the support this helps me know what to expect and advocate for
You’re not crazy. She has some very severe insecurities that she needs to work on before she can be in a healthy relationship.
Source: currently in a long distance relationship. The only thing I ask of my partner is that he doesn’t like promiscuous photos publicly of women, and that he doesn’t hang out with women alone in his or her apartment. And I apply the same boundaries to myself but with men.
I do struggle with insecurity but would never make my boyfriend cut off his friends just because they are women. And he is a hugger so I know they hug, and who cares!
Sir, instead of trying to do the math with 40 weeks, count months. Due dates are 9 months. So if she’s due in July, she got pregnant in October.
You didn’t do anything wrong.. you went out of town to see a friend.. doesn’t matter it was an ex or not.. it was years before you met current gf.. I would be questioning your current relationship… just remember this will be rest of you life with her
Your ex-wife (35f) went crazy and endangered herself. Get an attorney. Protect your interests and your kids. Because.. even if the 69 year old who does meth is true.. …it's a rando-meth head who's 69. Seriously, WTF.