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At the end of the day, while it’s true that you are young and your dad is paying your tuition, you are an adult. If it’s not a dealbreaker for you then this shouldn’t be an issue. Personally I think your parents are being a bit closed minded about this. As a college grad myself, I will tell you that going to college isn’t the flex it was 20 years ago. There are plenty of people who go to college, are up to their ears in debt, and still can’t find a job that satisfies the return on their investment.
I learned waaaaay more in my first 6 months working at a start up than I did in 4 years of college (tech industry, obviously there are certain fields where college is imperative). If your parents pay for it, enjoy the 4 year vacay and try to learn something and get some good internships while you’re at it.
But that’s not really the point of this post — the point is, what are your expectations of a long term partner? Does your bf have long term career goals, and how does he plan to achieve them? These are the important things to be looking at. Having a partner who goes to college doesn’t automatically indicate that they will be successful, and the reverse is true as well. Again, you’re an adult, so it really only matters if having a career-focused partner is something that is important to you (which I’m thinking it is since you made this post).
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But he would do it to his wife?
While I agree with you I find it very telling when so many of the comments are supportive of OP while in the reverse case (woman wants to keep the baby, man wants nothing to do with it) he's automatically a deadbeat scumbag.
OP 100% owes child support but nothing beyond that. There wasn't any legally binding contract she could have made to get out of that obligation other than by giving up her parental rights via adoption.
You did nothing wrong/ being nice doesn’t give someone access to your body. This was assault, and your feelings of guilty and shame are what they want you to feel as it keeps you quiet, and allows this behavior to continue. I hate the cops- but this is when you talk to them. Think about the next woman he will do this to
Yep. If OP and this woman didn't go through the courts and make everything legit, there's a chance this woman could literally walk in and taken the child if she's on the birth certificate as bio mom. And a lot of cops won't stop her, they'll say it's a civil issue.
OP is getting a lot of bad advice from kids who haven't dealt with the ugly side of the court system.
I get it. I was her first a while when I was much younger. Have you said that you don’t feel like she engages anymore unless it’s to prepare what she’s going to say? About herself? I know that’s nude but it’s possible she’ll hear you. She’ll get defensive. But. She’ll also hear your voice every time she goes on the mememeee bender. My best friend pointed it out to me and it made an enormous difference. Not just with her but for the rest of my life. I still cringe just saying that I was her.
What are your insecurities? Is it personality? Is it your appearance?
Are you not happy about the way you look or about something else?
This doesn’t sound like it has to do with him, self confidence comes from within but it may also come from outward appearance and our tendency to compare ourselves to others
If you really like him, you might as well give him a last chance just in case.
But eyes wide open, with a quick exit plan.
He wanted you to hold him though that says tons. Still wants physical intimacy in other ways just not sex and just right then in a vulnerable and tired state which kinda shows how he feels about you. You didn't do anything wrong homie
It’s disrespectful no matter why she did. She could have survived without that one free drink.
Your train of thought is definitely the same as mine. I don’t think I could ever lay a hand on her, regardless of the circumstances.
I also liked how she's dying of something yet diagnosed.
She’s an alcoholic. She needs to quit ASAP. There is no suitable amount of alcohol she can drink and not continue to put herself in danger. And that includes all forms of danger. If you want to wait and see if she actually gets treatment and quits before you break up, ok. But leaving for your own sanity atp would be a smart decision. This is not a good or healthy relationship.
I started reaching out to a few ladies that are attending the same college as me. There is a group on Facebook and I’ve been scrolling past it for a few weeks but noticed there are people looking for roommates, so I started messaging a couple.
I have to figure out how to separate our phones and a few other small bills without him getting suspicious of something.
This is all crashing down at one time and I’m severely depressed already, without all this. Adding this to it is just too much for me. All I can think about is how dumb I am for opening my heart to him and giving him my body.
The time is already lost. Money too really. I don't get why she's so hell bent on this unless she requires IVF.
Why do you still have the video op?
You're correct, I've talked so many times about what I need I've lost count.
I'm not good with this. I've thought about breaking up countless times and never went through with it, I don't know how to allow my heart to accept what my brain already knows.
Do you want marriage and children? If so, you are on a timeline.
“I’m not ready to move in yet,” is very vague. What things would need to change for him to be ready? Would things in his life need to be different? Things in your relationship?
You don’t truly know someone until you online with them.
Yeah, we had exactly the same thing once, so I know what it’s like from my perspective – I think that the only thing that can happen is to just make sure you are open, especially while you are still rebuilding that trust. But don’t think you ruined it, you made a choice because you didn’t want to be upset, and fight over the same thing again and again which is understandable.
It’s more about just slowly building it up again, especially if he thinks you prioritise your friend more, it’s something I never got used to as a bf, but distancing yourself from the friend will help, just make sure that he knows what is happening and what steps you are going to take going forward
There is absolutely nothing that anybody can say or do to make your husband stop cheating on you.
You can deal with it, or you can leave. That's it.
It's very real. If he was violating boundaries consistently in every interaction we had, I would have left by now. If you can read, I said it's happened multiple times throughout the last year. It's something we've discussed before but it takes time to establish and reaffirm boundaries in any relationship. I have plenty of self respect but I also have empathy and compassion for someone who I've spent the last 5 years building a life with. This is one snapshot of a difficult situation we're dealing with.