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Birth Date: 1985-05-03
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Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Marriage is a big commitment and you both want to make sure it's the best thing for both of you and that you're long term compatible. Don't waste her time,but don't rush either.
As someone who struggled to have their partner actually continue working, or to even find a job…. Never would I ever, if anything I'm the one mentioning she should pick up more shifts (2-3 a month vs 2-3 a week…)
excuse me ?? I am the problem cause I had some doubts after I found a bra in my bf's car ????? in what world am I the problem here
Wouldn't you rather be loved for who you are than loved for what you're not? You're right the man that wants to spend the rest of his life with you won't care if you have no makeup on, wearing his sweatpants and t-shirt. You're trying to change yourself…here's the problem with that. Eventually the real you always shines through…dont try to become what You think he wants because it never works. Do not put him a pedestal…what he won't do for you another man will. I'm 44 yrs old and never once has my spouse told me I have a Mom butt! This is insight to your future so pay very close attention to his actions and how kind his words are. Who you marry is the most important decision you'll ever make. I suggest talking to your Mom…And Please listen to her advice with open ears and an open heart. Nobody else loves you like your Mom.
My first thought too. It would not be so bad if they had only been together a few years but targeting an 18 year old when you're 25 is just gross. It may not be illegal but it's morally wrong in my opinion. It's something I would never have done. It's no surprise a man like that is very shallow.
If OP doesn't actually bring then around the baby, he should be in the clear. OP's romantic life outside of the baby's life is none of her business. The ex can't say/do anything to force OP to stay single. I would like to think that she isn't trying for that, but people on here shock me every day, so who knows. I do get not wanting random people near a baby, though.
I hope that OP doesn't go back with her strictly because of the baby. Babies are horrible at fixing relationships. Unless someone's personality changed a lot, they'll have the same problems as before.
Okay. I’m doubling down hard reading this. You created this account yesterday. Said it wasn’t a very hot day. Took the baby to the hospital? You’re lying. This whole thing is fake.
You’ve spent a rocky year with a man 10 years your senior who calls you degrading names (that he calls terms of endearment) and ignores your boundaries.
What a waste of a year. You deserve better. You are young, and no one ever needs to settle. Kick him to the curb, spend sometime alone and learn to love yourself then find someone who isn’t abusive.
Long past isn’t always enough to move forward together. If he wasn’t interested in this other girl, he wouldn’t act weird like that. I think you already know that though.
It is a spouse's job to consider the feelings of their partner. If you don't want to be decent and kind to someone, don't be married to them.
This reads way too fake- she says she has 4 children, married 7 years, but only talks about one child. Her brother has a family but said he had an affair? Why would he lie and ruin his marriage?
If she knows for 100% that the child is his, and the test comes back negative, why as a mother is she not panicking and getting a maternity test to ensure her child is actually hers? What mother would just shrug that off and say “Well someone else must have messed with the paternity test” and not “holy fuck I need to get a test done”
You mean, the test said your husband isn't the father.
Not sure how foul play happens in that case unless the results weren't sent directly to him.
Go with him and get all your kids tested, a second time. Insist on it.
He knows his wife, that's why he's asking on here as he knows the odds are against him getting one. He says she's not horny when she's got the curse, so he's looking for that magic wand
Like I said if she gets the urge to blow when she's on the blob, she would, he wouldn't need to ask
You've already stated that your relationship was toxic, from both sides. AGAIN, you two are ex's for a reason.
You are the one who has to decide what you want to do. And I've already told you my thoughts on why he's calling, what he likely wants, and what will likely happen.
It's up to you to make your decisions in life.
I am nearly 6 years clean from all opiates.
So what I am gonna say is gonna be sobering but true. You have to get some real amounts of clean time under your belt. New Years feels like yesterday to me and you have broken her trust. It took me ages to get back trust with people and even now, I know with my family they don't take me as seriously anymore.
I would recommend going to one session of AA and seeing if it is for you. I did NA for about 6 months when I was fresh but the constant talking about drugs in group just made me think about pills. So I stopped going and now. My fiance helps keep me accountable and honestly, I don't think much on it anymore.
If AA isn't helpful, try looking for a therapist with experience in substance abuse. Unfortunately alcohol is such an important part of many social events it is harder to ignore than, say, vicodin.
Good luck, my friend, and give her time.
How does that make sense? 72% of people need financial support for a wedding. Why go with it when you can't afford it? It's not a life-saving surgery or anything toward needs.
I dont know how too use reddit, I can't see the comments people are leaving, someone please message me and tell me how too view the comments.
Thank you for your input! I think I just need to reinforce that this is the norm rather than anything abnormal, and it's been hard to realize that because I'm just used to a college dynamic and I haven't started working full time, but I'm sure once I start I'll realize that it's the normal thing to do and it doesn't mean my relationship is deficient
You need to be open an clear with her, and see your physician to check if there are viable options. Your testes might have viable sperm, which might make IVF possible. Not guaranteed, but it is something that your doctor might recommend.
Regardless, if you don't tell her it'll be a nightmare if she thinks it's her despite the results and that somehow it's her fault. That guilt will tear her apart and that would be an equal measure of anger when you tell her IF you delay being open with her for a while.
Early, honest communication is key, and I am so sorry to hear that you have this condition. I do hope that the medical options out there will be a viable route to help you and your spouse start a family with little to no issues.
Don’t use unknown donors. Find a known donor. Benefits if a known donor:
You have a verified health history from a known donor, whereas clinics do not verify health history of their donors and often give reassurances of genetic testing that they’re not required to do and often can’t prove they do – even when donor children pop up with genetic diseases.
Clinics can and do lie about donor achievements, IQ, etc
Clinics often don’t have many options in the way of donors of color
Clinics can and do lie about having limits on how many families and how many live births they allow for a single donor. Sibling pods of 50+ is extremely common within the industry and Laura High, comedian and activist, is currently working on verifying a sibling pod with over 200 people. Clinics also aren’t required to follow up on successful online births from donation. Having half-siblings you don’t know about can lead to accidental incest, and having this many large groups of people related to each other is quickly going to become a health crisis.
Some donors are super donors, going bank to bank to donate. There is not national registry or way for clinics to see if a donor has donated to other banks or not.
By personally knowing and staying in touch with your donor, you get a continually updated medical history rather than one from the time of donation – when many donors are collage aged students who may have undiscovered issues.
It is only illegal in 11 states for doctors to swap out your chosen donor’s sperm with whoever’s sperm they want, even their own.
As long as you coordinate a donation through lawyers to confirm fatherhood, known-donor is the best way to go.
“inappropriate photos of kids” what more could you fucking say? why are you trying to downplay this? “legally” if he's whacking off to kids that makes him a paedophile no matter what, and I don't know what much else the word “inappropriate” could stand for
If I knew that I will no longer have him in my life then what's the point of waiting? That will be just dragging out the pain and anxiety.
Hate to be blunt, while his response was weird, you kinda assumed his preference, made a change, surprised him with it, and now are mad he didnt like it
They're about to go into high school. I think they left the toddler phase a few years back.
Plus, OP says he’s number 6. The only way that could happen is if the ONS and the other guys she didn’t originally tell him about are not the same person.
yeah, she is taking you granted.
100% do as she says and leave her alone. She sounds awful and this sounds like nothing but a trainwreck for you. She dumps you after two months, then dishes insults at you after you go out of your way to help her? Screw that. Wash your hands of this mess.
The food argument was because he got upset I wanted to buy tacos when their was food in the fridge. The volume was the fact that he always plays videos on his phone hella loud in the middle of the living room where people are doing hw, studying, etc. and I asked him to turn the volume down. Both times he escalated the situation as I was apologizing and asking him to pick our battles and let it go.
I am in no way saying I am a saint. I do things that I’m sure irritate him and things that make me less than a perfect wife. All I’m saying is that this unnecessary bickering is not something I can handle right now.
And yes you are right I think logically the decision to separate myself from the situation is the right one. I am just worried he will see that as I’m running away or that I want an excuse to not be around him to do other things or take it as something that it isn’t and that our marriage will be ruined off my decision to take some time apart.
He is not a bad husband and he is a good dad. We just both have made mistakes in our lives and I want to right them together. It’s just proving to be hard.
I don’t think it is hard to stop, but let’s say you’re right and it is. At the very least, he should be immediately apologetic, and there should be no frustration at you because he continues to do something that upsets you. He should be directing all of that frustration internally.
Which do you value more? Jerking to porn or respecting women including your partner? That’s how she sees it meanwhile you seem to think and state that porn is harmless. It isn’t. Not your brain nor the women it exploits.
Of course almost everyone will say if their partner cheats, there would be no forgiveness.
But until you’ve been in that situation, you don’t really know.
thank you so much! i have a bad rep at school cause i got into hard drugs but i’m clean now. it kind of left me with no friends though. any tips on finding someone last minute?