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Maybe you are part of her citizenship plan.
What is his plan here in terms of contributing to the household?
He has no plans to look for work so is HE going to pull money out of savings to cover his share of the bills?
If he dropped dead or took off and moved to Alaska tomorrow then how would you cope? Do you own the place? Do you need to sell it? Or do you rent, and do you need to move to a different location and he will have to find his own place to live! and pay for it however he will pay for it?
Si both of you are under stress and this is always the best kind of situation to determine whether you’re a good couple or not because it’s better to judge each other characters by seeing how you handle difficult times on your own and as a couple.
From an outside perspective you both sound very dramatic. That in itself doesn’t matter, you can be dramatic and a great person, these two things aren’t exclusive. What matters to you as a couple is if you’re gonna find a way to communicate clearly within the stress and the dramatic remarks or not.
You have to sit down and calmly have a conversation, say how you feel in general and about her statement and ask her how she’s feeling as well. Agree to a way to manage stressful times together.
So I may get killed for this…
But leave your wife. She is extremely selfish. Here you are blaming yourself and having people around you also telling you are partly to blame, but stop.
She was able to take a break but you weren’t
She ignored your mental state, but you recognized hers
SHE CHEATED.
You were and still are in a worse mental state than her, she is a disgusting individual who has the audacity to blame you for reading her messages after her confession. She is a horrible mother who basically abandoned her children and said she didn’t want to be a “mother anymore” (your last post). She doesn’t get to pop out children and make that comment.
Stop taking blame for your wife’s selfish actions. She choose to cheat. She choose to ignore you mental state.
Get therapy for yourself and find a better support group who will help your recognize how toxic your wife is towards you.
It's often subconscious. Like they aren't thinking this guy has a mustache so I'm going to treat him badly. They just get an uncomfortable vibe
Well….I think you’re got 2 choices here. Your wife is acting like a child & clearly going through something. Sounds like an intervention isn’t an option? Does she have friends?
The way I see it, you’re looking at either “gentle parent” or “tough love”
Oof
Op please listen to this, this is the correct answer.
What are you talking about?
Next!
Too much Reddit for Today ! ?
Sweety I'm a woman . It's really not that nude. It's really all about saying no. You don't need to be a bitch about it . If this happend without her wanting it she didn't go dancing with him and she would slap him or be angry not kiss back. When you are into someone you don't pay attention to others. A man almost never tries to kiss without you giving some vibes which you don't give if you are not interested.c
Do you guys share a room? If not I agree with a fan and maybe one of those diffusers with scented oils.
Do you remember yourself in your 19? It's a time of detaching from parents.
I don't think you can do much right now. Maybe through time you could bring to him the idea of caring for his mother's feelings. So he could cancel his gym at his 20s birthday and come home earlier. Unless he decided to go out with his friends instead.
your wife needs to back off
its understandable that your concerned, communication is very important in any relationship.. some people can have a really nude time processing emotions and might even need more than a few hours to think on it. you might just need to give him some space for some hours or even a day and come back to address the issue.
he might not know exactly the reason why he is sad or he might have a very hot time processing it. just be patient, and be gentle. if he struggles bringing it up, you might have to ask questions to help him open up if you can. if he has experienced any kind of trauma or had emotionally abusive parents, that could also be a reason why he struggles.
if he can afford it, therapy would probably be really good to help him work through these kinds of issues, especially talking and such. i know people always say therapy, but its a very helpful tool.
You need to reach out to her and tell her that you slept with her wife. You really have to, and soon. You didn't do anything wrong, you just need to do the right thing and let her know.
Catch up with her, then ask if she has an open relationship and go from there.
Maybe ask her?
Don’t get knocked up by someone who isn’t your husband, next.
she doesn’t seem to be willing to give you that bit of time.
Breaking up over one partner intentionally withholding the fact they have an STD and then having unprotected sex anyway*
Fixed your comment.
Why? Maybe it will help us to better understand? You do realize you will never be able to control other people right? You can only control how you react.
People understand the situation, they just don’t agree with you.
I am not hung up on denying it.
I simply just do not perceive myself to be controlling.
I am very open-minded but clearly reddit is not the place to come to for advice as there are so many beta males on here.
No wonder there are so many cheating stories.
Best of luck, everyone.
Why do you care if it financially crushes them?
Care about your own damn problems before caring about someone else’s problem. You are about to be homeless. And I don’t know if you have kids, but if you do – you are about to make your kids homeless due to caring about two people who don’t seem to care about you.
Like seriously think about your priorities
If you stay it will eventually turn into loneliness anyways. You know he isn't what you want, isn't what you respect, isn't what makes you feel confident in yourself. You will become roommates, which is it's own twist on loneliness. It's not fair to either of you that you continue saying ILY.
Being alone isn't the goal, being apart from somebody you disrespect is the goal. Finding the right person starts with being the right person. Saying an empty ILY isn't good for anybody including yourself. You already are alone, the “leap” is in being honest about that to yourself. Leave him and start the next unknown chapter of your life, this one's over.
Shitty friend for not understanding
Now we know who your favorite child is
You are almost 30 and you still doing this? You seem proud of this group and this humor should have left you at best in college. You and your friends seem to not want to grow up.
You say you want to marry this person so everything should be open. Do the 2 friends wives know about this chat and what is being said? I really doubt it. Would you be comfortable sending all the logs to their wives? You say they mostly are but it makes it sound like they don’t see the whole picture or they are not happy but accept it.
Your girlfriend is right in the fact that what you are doing with them is awful and you are all contributing to each others toxic behavior.
I would try and compromise and go low to no contact with this group for 3 months while you work on your relationship. Promise you will leave the chat and not continue in it. See if you can fix the relationship, get therapy together, and then see if she can trust you again with them.
Don’t mess this up. You messed up not her so you have to figure out if you want to work on repairing the relationship or not so don’t gaslight her on calling her possessive in a post about how you messed up.
you did the right thing. dont falter on your decision or believe his lies.
Wow sounds a bit like my mom. You did the right thing. Set boundaries and enforce them. No reason for an adult to act li8ke that. I ended up having to go no contact with mine.
These Trump/Fox supporters have a mild mental illness, it's like a cult. I actually think maybe it's time you did move out. She can't seem to control herself. See if you can find a place in the same general area – you don't have to cut your folks off entirely.
Then he is really doing something he shouldn't be doing with those friends. He can be cheating on you behind your back while hanging out with them.
Break up with him. The pro life movement is rooted in misogyny and misinformation. This is not something you can ignore or compromise on.
Break up with him. The pro life movement is rooted in misogyny and misinformation. This is not something you can ignore or compromise on.
He doesn't let you go to parties? He's not your dad, tell him to get fucked.
I think every woman or man has had this feeling at one time or another.
My advice is to stop comparing yourself to other women and work on building your own personality, individuality, values, morals, etc.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
You sound so focused on other women that you are not even paying attention to the men who are interested in you. Your insecurities are blinding you.
There are good men out there, but you have to be open, available, and have the right attitude when you meet them.
No you weren’t cheating and you should explain that to your bf but have some boundaries with your friend and say you were uncomfortable doing don’t make your friends the reason y’all break up
Hi, as someone who’s been through something similar, please know that you did the absolute correct thing. The way you feel is VALID and if your coworkers feel that you overreacted in this situation, then they can fuck right off. This is an issue of safety and your personal boundaries were violated without you knowing. That’s never ok and major props for reporting and getting him fired. Hopefully he will not do that again in the future.