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Lucas King, 26 y.o.
Location: Texas, United States
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I wonder if the DIL is real hip to that idea. Many women want their MIL in the mix like they want another hole in their head. Has that even really been discussed?
My brother’s FIL/MIL “surprise” moved to be near them and it was a damned nightmare. I personally intentionally told my husband when we were moving back to his home state that we were not going to on-line closer than an hour + from his family because they had been so intrusive when we lived in his home town briefly.
I’m not saying that’s your wife but….the fact she’s so serious about moving there makes me wonder if she’s going to insert herself where she isn’t actually wanted.
Ty ??
Quit being shitty
I think what your best option is depends entirely on whether or not you'd be happy returning to your home country, or if you moved to the currently you're now in for a (much) better quality of life.
If the former, that's your answer. This man is showing you exactly who he is, and things are bad enough as they are. But things will only get worse the longer you stay, he's clearly not trying to improve.
If the latter, then perhaps you are better off staying married until your papers have been approved. But as soon as you can, you need to leave this marriage. If you're unable/unwilling to leave him now, then whatever you do avoid sex like the plague or use as much protection as possible. This man is exactly the type to try and baby trap you. I don't think it's a coincidence he targeted a much younger woman from a foreign country.
And if he's this lazy, nasty, and useless at the age of 34 then he's certainly not going to magically turn into a decent human being at this stage of his life.
Leave this dead weight. How dare he. Why are you staying around someone you're afraid of?
Ask her about it man!!! Don’t let it kill ya! Is there any reason it bothers you so much in particular?
He literally said “let”, which is toxic.
oh i see. yeah i mean it is partially for my asthma but honestly we don’t use it much on a day to day basis for that bc they can’t really sleep with it elevated much. and i think generally thats fine. it’s really more useful in this kind of situation because my asthma makes all the symptoms much worse.
and re: me sleeping on the couch. i believe i would. i mean, i have in the past. but obviously it’s easy for me to say that in this moment.
not to be mean but it’s crazy to me to see what people will allow.
This is the way
Girl stop embarrassing yourself for this loser
I mean, next time he says this stuff, keep your phone on recording in your pocket. Easy.
thank you ?
Got ya thanks for the honesty. I cannot imagine washing those areas without soap on a very consistent basis. But you do you, I don’t have to smell you.
You need to sit down with this friend and ask why he doesn’t like your girlfriend. And then, if it’s baseless, you should stand by your girlfriend and not go. Or, if it’s just the one friend who doesn’t like your girlfriend, tell him that she’ll be there and he can decide if he wants to go or not.
I’m a personal trainer. First. You have to talk with him. Not just bring it up but sit down and talk. I will add one thing. The client I most admired. She had the 3 closest people in her life die within 6 months of each other. Husband, mother and MIL. I couldn’t believe she could even get out of bed. And. She came because she knew it was best for her mind. Her depression. Plus she wanted to get in shape so she could donate a kidney to her brother. Truly inspirational. It takes 8 weeks of going regularly and then it’s just something you do. Exercise is great for the body but it does so much good for our brains. Depression and anxiety. The first 8 weeks are very hot and you do have to force yourself but then it’s part of life that you need. Just think about it. For your brain.
As someone who spent waaaay too long being caught up in what my parents wanted me to do I can tell you with abundant certainty that every minute you spend beholden to their wishes is a minute of your life that you've wasted.
Will you make mistakes that your parents could have prevented? Maybe. But there's a difference between learning for yourself and resenting someone else for not knowing where the other path would lead.
I completely get your parents take though, as a parent I know there's a day coming, a long time from now, where my kid is probably going to need to move away to follow her dreams or just make her life work and when that day comes it's going to be fucking devastating, it's very hot to even think about, but as a parent bearing that is my job. I can do that for her. I might even have what I consider to be good reasons to tell her to do otherwise, but no second guessing or undermining I can do has near as much value to her as my support does.
Parents have to make this transition when their kids are grown, and many fail to. It's hot to define, but your relationship has to become more like one between peers rather than one where permission is given. I'm not where it's needed yet, but I'm sure it's hot. Without your parents doing it on their own you're just going to have to force the issue by doing your best to do what you need to do and ignoring them until they choose to make that transition.
I can imagine breaking up over something like this, so you do what you feel what you need to.
That said, if you decide to proceed, he needs to give you access to his electronic devices, cloud, USB memory, etc. so you can delete the photos. Then, you need to have a very clear conversation about boundaries. After that, if you ultimately decide to break up with him do so. If I’d ever done something like that to a woman I was dating, dumping I me would be the least I expect.
You’re not insecure. And he is gas lighting you.
He’s either attempting to cheat, or he cannot control himself. Either way, he’s not a man worthy of any self respecting woman.
Fuck your vacation. Leave him. And don’t let him gas light you further.
OP, you need a lawyer. They can walk you through all your options here, legally, financially, and even morally. Find one that practices family law.
Getting a lawyer doesn’t mean you automatically have to decide on a divorce, it just means that you are getting unbiased advice so you can make a decision that is right for you and the kids. Although they biologically related to their sperm donor, you are their daddy and they are yours. My advice is to make a series of decisions that protects them, your relationship with them, and any funds that you intended for them. Then you make a series of decisions that protect you and your finances. And yes, you need a lawyer for all that.
You don’t have to feel guilty about being unable to forgive or trust your wife. It’s not a shortcoming, the burden of forgiveness shouldn’t ever be forced onto the victim. And yes, you and the kids are the victims here.
If in the unlikely event that you are considering the option of staying married, make it your condition that your family has to move and cut all ties to Jim and the church. I’m betting that your wife won’t want that. And if that’s the case, then in a sense, she will make your path forward much clearer.
Three of them with six guys? Drunk? Nothing good is going to come of that, is there? What are they there for? Just to have a good time? What do you do at the accommodation for six guys that you couldn't have done at the bar you met them?
How do you know all this? She told you did she?
Look, I don't know if she cheated on you but if the positions were reversed she would have some big questions for you and you would not be surprised if her faith in you had taken a serious hit. Maybe she wouldn't believe that you didn't do anything even though one of the girls clearly liked you, and it would be the end of the relationship. Could hardly blame her, could you?
Of course they fucked