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203 thoughts on “A N A S S T A S I A online webcams for YOU!”
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Manipulated into what, choosing his wife over a friend who has territorial issues over him? Leave them alone. If he wants to keep seeing you and upsetting his wife, he will. But it’s not surprising she’s upset. You think he’s yours. And he’s not. Back off and stop sending ‘kissy emoji’s’, for a start.
He rushed you into marriage, just like his others, 'cause it is work to keep the mask on. Once he traps you, the mask falls off and you see who he really is. This is him. Believe him. His history shows that he is not going to change or improve. He also isn't going to accommodate you in any way. He is done even attempting a show of effort.
Cut your losses and go. Get some therapy to sort your head out and learn how to recognize, and not discount, the red flags. Staying will only get worse for you.
He already has someone in mind for that position. You need to think and look out for yourself.
Yep, I’d say joke’s on you but it’s not funny, is it? Get a sitter for an afternoon and have a conversation about healthy communication. I wouldn’t focus on anything child-related as it might be too “controversial” and make it more general. I can’t imagine a relationship where you can’t communicate, let alone parenting.
Yes, but without using the word cringe
There are quite a few people who are into this sort of activity. Maybe join some groups and look for a partner from that community.
Imagine that was him doing it to you
Be nice, he'll get his older brother-dad to kick your ass!
Thank you so much, I will definitely try that!!!
Hard and sweaty contact. You're lucky she is the only one he keeps in contact with, otherwise changing the sheets wouldn't help. Please leave.
For real lmao. ‘She groped his crotch but I thought nothing of it’, who believes this shit? I knew there were a lot of dumb people on reddit, but I didn’t know it was THIS bad
Tell him how you really feel but be calm and firm. After that, tay out your expectations and see how he responds. If he really is in this relationship with you and sees a future with you, then he should be prepared to respect your boundaries.
Just don't be surprised if you get hit with the gaslighting and deflection. Remember if they weren't talking as much and now suddenly they are, and have quickly escalated to this point of hanging out one on one(to a degree) this isn't just a coincidence.
Boundaries in relationships are generally controlling anyway because if you enter the relationship you are agreeing to not overstep a boundary if you have already discussed it. It's up to you if this is is acceptable or not. If it isn't, then leave.
Thanks. Appreciated.
Do not go to counseling with an abuser!!
This is dangerous for multiple reasons. OP needs to quietly make a plan to exit the relationship and go to individual therapy to unpack what has happened to him. In a normal relationship we could talk about what they both did and discuss ways to improve. He is in a physically abusive relationship and his course of action needs to be removing himself to safety.
Again, do NOT go to counseling with an abuser. There is plenty of research to back up why this is a bad idea.
I got up to leave she said ‘awww ok…ta raaaaa’
I said it back then after a pause and I was quite a few steps away I heard ‘and well done’
That’s very annoying and condescending imo
You were right to break up with him and if you need more proof then use the verbal abuse/name calling. Turn the logic around on him.
You don't need to continue explaining it to him. Block him.
Thank you. I also explained that if she really loved him she would let him go and respect that he’s in a relationship with someone else. She was his first girlfriend and he honestly doesn’t have much other experience. I can’t hold his hand but him and I can learn together. I feel good moving forward honestly.
What do I have to worry about? I know what I have to offer. I know my worth and even though I do have some insecurities I really try to keep them in check. I’m not the jealous type so when I started to feel antsy about the situation I knew something was wrong.
I just don't get why he'd have twitter handles written down? That's weird in itself.
Tell him how you feel. Your marriage isn’t working if you don’t communicate.
That said, if you want a partner who will go on your dream vacation with you and not someone else, then you need to find that partner. If your husband is not that partner, then so be it.
Since you are in a STEM field, you can research why some people believe in conspiracy theories. Psychologists and Sociologists have done a lot of work on that and other types of misinformation. There are even articles for talking and dealing with people who think this way, without necessarily changing their minds. Understanding why your dad thinks this way might better help you deal with him.
I think if you can and have some more stability, you should try to have some sort of relationship. But it will not be easy for you or for him in the beginning. One of the things you would need to say is that you need him to understand that you think differently and he has to respect you, or there is little possibility of reconciliation. And respect for him does not mean agreeing with everything he says and thinks, just as he does not have to accept what you think. You are an independent person with your own intellect and personality. Best to you.
She was also two years older then. Farming account?
Honestly, this is a major red flag. One of the basis of marriage vows is “in sickness and in health”. If this is how she treats you in sickness, run. Run the other way.
The fact that she's complaining while you're still actually doing more than your fair share of housework from the sounds of it, while injured, tells you everything you need to know. She should be happy and willing to even assist while you're injured. If that's too much for her, then she better not expect the same when the same happens to her.
Honesty was the right answer. Let this be something that brings you closer together, not wedges you apart. Both of you admitted a break up would hurt terribly. Her answer was not any better or worse than yours.
However, be careful that this kind of discussion doesn't turn into “does this dress make me look fat?” kinds of questions. Some topics are just unwise.
I totally agree with you. Its not like I expect them to go “oh okay it's okidoki then” when I explain that it's a joke. They don't have to accept the apology, but they're talking to me like I assaulted them or something. It just kinda sucks because we were pretty good friends ://
Yup.
Reading at first I assumed she was pushing him to not use a condom. But the way he worded it is very suspect. Like “this crazy broad won't take the pill, put in an IUD, or even get her tubes tied for me. I mean maybe I can use a condom idk…”
You were addicted to porn before your wife so why blame it on your wife? And why get married? Just break up. If she spreads lies about you defend yourself and block her. If she tries to post from your accounts literally just change your login info.
Pull out method is a great way to make babies.
If you dont want babies, don’t go in at all with no protection.
Yes this is breakup worthy as it is a fundamental part of sexual compatibility…
I never said that I'm not to blame I wanna try to make things right and get back with my husband. But I don't think I deserve all the blame because the other man was just extremely loveable and charming it's hard to not like him
Ohh, no, no, no. I am not afraid of love. I am actually afraid of hurting him, in the case of misleading him.
You said February. It’s only April, what math are you using. Honestly mate, sort you fucking life out. You are 36 for godsake, can’t handle your booze or bowels and woke up covered in your own shit, next to said pregnant girlfriend (WHICH IS BEYOND UNSANITARY AND UNSAFE FOR THE BABY) and just thought fuck it I feel hungover and carried on letting both of you sleep in your feces and then expect her to clean it up? What actual planet are you living on that this is acceptable because it isn’t earth.
Yeah, I was looking at unwritten option C. He’s her option B and she wants to explore with other people before she decides to settle.
We currently have 3 black cats (used to be 4), and we can always tell who is who IRL. SOMETIMES it is hard to tell from a still photograph, but never in a video or IRL.
Even if they actually did look exactly the same, their voices and fur and way of moving would give it away, even before any unique behaviors/habits.
What impact is this low confidence having? What has changed because of it? Are you really referring to the bedroom?
i’ve never found someone that’s been genuine with their love.. i am so confused how someone can tell me and promise me so much yet treat me this way when they feel like it and blame it on stress.. thank you for your comment
I feel like this started in 2020 bc that's around the time that I started gaining weight. After multiple fights I tried letting it go and leaving him be to “work on it” and from then until now he HAS gotten better and is doing it less. But it still bothers me that it's even a thing. He claims that if he has the urge and I'm not around it's easier to just be to himself which I think is also annoying, but I can't force him to think and feel how I do.
The catch 22 of this post is I only posted about my issue with him. I have not painted him in the best light bc this is the ONLY issue that I have with him. All other areas and depts of our relationship are healthy.
I've been to therapy before so this is not an issue of my self worth on its own, just my self worth in terms of this relationship and ONLY in regard to this aspect of it. It's complicated. How do you leave someone who treats you right and is almost perfect in every way yet has this one complicated flaw? One that can't easily be fixed without quitting on him bc as I said in my post he has gotten better. I'm just in a doubtful phase rn. I'll also add that in the time that we've been together he has been my rock and has picked me up every time I fell through a difficult situation.
Thanks for the well wishes
I mean I’d probably mention it just because it’d probably be a bit of a shock coming out of the blue but you don’t need his permission or approval to do so.
My dad was a dad twice at 40 and 41 (me and my brother) and I reckon he'd say 0/10 wouldn't do again. Esp given that he'd already raised two kids he had at 19 and 23 years old.
“Thank you, but I'm not currently looking for help with my finances. Do you need help with yours so you can start paying your own insurance?”
No fake proposals. Ever. You can still do the candles and whatnot, just never deceive someone about something that important.
Yeah I definitely have no plans to
Well I assumed I would’ve known. Im not familiar with STD’s but others have mentioned that it can be difficult to detect or see any signs of it. I haven’t had a blood test since I was a kid.
You end it and make yourself happy.
Hard to have trust when she says girls trip when guys are invited.
Life isn’t miserable with a break from gaming. If it’s not an addiction then it will be easy.
It happens. It’s not going to be easy so I won’t sugar coat it – just tell him you want to break up. Try not the criticize him, there is someone for everyone and another girl might be totally in love with him. It’s not going to be fun but you need to be strong and end it. He is clearly not the one for you.
This isn't gonna go anywhere .. u see the signs .. please go with your gut .. 2 months isn't very long .. waring signs r there .. that this is not the right guy 4 u x
Your husband sounds exhausting. How he doesn’t see his request as being unreasonable is ridiculous. I can’t imagine what he’s like in other areas of life
I just have other things that I should be focusing on this week, and if the last part you said does occur that might be too big of a distraction.
Girl…cmon.
would it make you feel better if you put $50 in a bunch of envelopes and when someone brought a gift you gave them an envelope of money to neutralize the money the spent lolol
like say whatever you want but you just… dont have control over what other people do with their money. you could have a billboard that says NO GIFTS and someone is still going to buy one.
Go over there with the police. And press charges, because they had to know it was yours and that is receiving stolen property. You can always adopt another husband.
What were you looking forward to the most, besides joining him, when you were planning the move? It's a lot better to make that kind of love with a plan, and not just about escaping the previous place where you lived.
It sucks that he led you on, it sounds like he was mentally checked out of the relationship, for whatever reason
I am sure it feels lonely, especially if the lifestyle is harder and colder. Hobbies and meeting people through them would be my advice
Or have a conversation with your kid before making a dumb selfish decision
If police are used, I think it needs to be without warning hubby. Let them know that husband stole your cat and hid it at his friend's house, which is what hubby told OP. That you need the police's help to secure your pet safely.
She’ll do it again.
She probably has done it again.
Say your goodbyes.
She’s right.
Is this art
Did you check the contacts list to see if there were any familiar names before you jumped to conclusions?
Maybe, maybe not. But if you file a police report with evidence you own a cat and that it was stolen from you they will investigate. Yes it may not lead to much at the moment but they still have to investigate.
I’m sorry I’m just so scared of losing him. I’m trying to do the opposite, hoping that he will come back because we made so many memories and were so close. At the very least… I can’t stomach losing him. That’s why I just want that reassurance… that everything will be alright… you said you’ve been a similar situation, how did it happen for you?
Oh god I would leave the husband and file divorce the very instance. I will always choose my cat over a man even if it’s the one I’m married to.
He is entirely too old for this. It’s possible he’s having a lousy day and will come to his senses when he wakes up but this is a lack of maturity writ large.
How tf has he gotten through life. I'm gonna be honest, you may wanna move on. This guy getting laid is rewarding his behavior lol. He needs to be bullied not coddled. I'm sure reddit with diagnose him with some bullshit spectrum thing from afar. Believe what you want I guess.
I honestly don't understand why you haven't divorced already.
He says he just wants me to be me, but at the same time he'll let me know what bothers him without really setting boundaries. I really wish he would though.
I honestly don't think he's expecting me to give up any friendships, maybe he'd be happy if I removed this particular friend I talked about, and I would for him, but I would also be very sad about it.
I think his expectations are that I don't flirt or invite flirtatious behavior which I already don't do. Or maybe he really does want me to cut contact with my guy friends but just doesn't want to say it. I really don't know..
*Wait until she asks you to fetch her a pair of socks.
?
Haha OP really needed some tough love from Reddit
Why would she move out of her house if she has a mortgage?
She is looking for attention
He’s hard and knows he is so he hasn’t had to work for it. If you have a problem say something. If he’s not willing to fix it then how long are you willing to put up with it.
Start cooking for one on the days you do feel like cooking. Tell him that's how you're going to do it from now on until he starts helping out. Then look into meal delivery plans like HelloFresh so he can just follow the recipe.
OP I’LL BE NEEDING AN UPDATE!
No, two updates.
1) when you’ve got Benji back safe + sound, and
2) where the party to celebrate your divorce is going to be.
Dead earnest on both counts. I’ll have a week off from kids twice over the summer and I will 1,000,000% meet you wherever the Benji-loving fuck you want to rejoice in your liberation from this hunka hunka burning dookie you currently call husband.
update me 1 month or however that doohickey is supposed to work
They are clearly concerned about him settling for his first girlfriend because of his lack of sexual experience. Thats not telling him to cheat, by the sound of things they are just warning him not to jump in too quick and date other people before settling down.
His Dad is maybe being crude about it but , but its about a parent being concerned for their son who was a virgin till he was 29 marrying the first girl he has sex with….YOU.
They are right to be worried and they are entitled to give him advice privately.
I'd be more concerned that your boyfriend is telling you this because he's begining to agree.
Its not about you , there is no reason to feel degraded or disgusted. They are just looking out for their son.
The fact you can't understand their concern and think its all about you makes me wonder if they have a point.
You have to find a good hearted guy like myself who isn’t a thug or player I’m good looking just insecure I got proof
Can you cover the costs of living there alone. Sit him down & let him know clearly it is not ok for him to behave like this towards you & if he continues to do so, he can leave. If he's got problems, he shouldn't be taking them out on you. As for the toilet roll… that is petty. Tell him if he tries that again, you'll do the same for all the stuff you buy. You are either living together as a partnership (and behave accordingly) or he's a house mate & you are each responsible for your own groceries and supplies.
LDRs are not good.
It’s a common live! food delivery service for busy people.
The weird thing is he doesn’t act like this in front of his family or friends.
I'm sure he gets through work just fine if he can act normal in front of friends and family.
Have you felt this way before?
My 13 year old daughter hates crowds and loud noises. I just found that out this past Nov. We were out at a busy restaurant for my husband’s birthday. It was packed and the sounds of everyone was just echoing off the walls. I looked over at her because she hadn’t been talking since we sat down and I asked her if everything was alright. Her eyes were welling up and she started crying. She said it was too loud and she wanted to go home. We had just put in our drink orders. I asked her if she brought her ear buds and she did and I said to try listening to her music. That helped her a lot to be able to muffle the loud noise of the room and having her listen to music that she’s familiar with.
So you have someone presumably well-off trying to make you fsll for him, by showering you with gifts and affection. While he refuses to get a clue that you are intimidated by him, and not interested, at least he respects your boundaries.
If you want him to leave you alobe telling him ypu have made out with someone else will definitely work (you can even exaggerate events).
If you want to get together with that gut, then I am not sure what to tell you, as you do nothing to make it happen in the first place.
t h e r a p y
They sometimes talk about health stuff since my friend is a med student, but also about personality traits and just everyday topics.
We have deep conversations too when we're alone, but when he is around he kind of “outshines” me, she focuses a lot on him.
Thanks for the reassurance and kind words. ?
I introduced them about 4 months ago. You might be right, I haven't thought about it this way, but i guess i'll have to wait and see.
Communicate by not communicating. Don’t let her boss u around, and as I said, stay at your friends house for a few days to a week or even longer until she gets the message, + ignore her snags. To gain respect, u have to show that you’re willing to walk away. But this is v far from a fantastic relationship and I wouldn’t marry this girl, it’s gonna be a life sentence of this crap and then she’ll take your house and your kids
say “bye”
So basically, “If you cheat, it's over between us, but I'd rather you break up before you stick your dick in someone else. However, if you don't sufficiently defend me from your family, I will break up anyway because things can only go downhill from here. Your choice.”
Also, OP, don't fall in the trap of sunk cost fallacy. If you want to keep this relationship, make sure you do it because you think there's a chance you and him can and are willing to make it work. Love alone is mot enough.
Damn I took the trollbait.
That was my first thought
This is what started my ex down the road to cheating. Don't make the mistake I did, you should break up with her
Well, I date to marry, and she says the same thing. So if she's not all in, then I don't want to waste my time and money on this.
You can’t read his mind so you don’t know.
Well, if you stay and play the game with him then he has no reason to change.
Listen even if he does have a legitimate medical condition that doesn't mean you have to stay with him. This sounds exhausting, a relationship is supposed to be enjoyable. Yes they are work, but if that's all they are then it's time to walk.
I don't know what kind of pain he is in from stubbing his toe where he needs to cancel his plans but I crashed my dirt bike hard as shit one day and was in a lot of pain, I still made it up to my gf at the time and took her out the next day even though I was still sore. Sometimes you just need to man up for your woman.
My husband cheated. Man, woman cheating is cheating. My suggestion is to put some space between you and your wife. If she runs to BFF friend while you're sorting your feelings, you have an answer. My guess is she is questioning her sexuality and confusion has set in, but she now can't have both. Is she willing to give up her friend? I guarantee her friend is going to fight to keep her. Can you forgive her? Trust is hard to get back. She needs to go to counseling and figure herself out. I'm sorry this happened to you.
You should never be afraid of the person you’re dating.
Please leave
the two for one deal at arby's is special. what are you looking for?
Maybe he does but that means OP has to just deal with it? He won’t get help but if he’s autistic she has to stay and suffer? It’s not a pass to get out of basic life obligations. She’s doing everything. If she doesn’t want to live! this life she should leave.
I know it’s a joke but just want to offer some explanation as an autistic and ADHD med student for those who find it interesting:
Basically, the part of our brain that unconsciously decides what to pay attention to is wonky. So for a typical person, a person calling your name is going to draw your attention more than typical ambient noises, right? Well for us that system doesn’t work well, so the brain just kinda tries to pay attention to whatever input it gets without prioritizing properly. This makes us more affected by the small discomforts brains are supposed to filter out, like a shirt tag scratching our neck.
To make things even worse, a person can only pay attention to so many things and our focus is quickly saturated. So once our brain is looking at everything it can handle, more important stimuli may go unnoticed. It’s pretty wild!
Honey look up the word unconditional. That’s not what’s happening here. I’m sorry.
That was my uncle. My family just doesn’t talk about it
I'm just too lazy to write down everything you wrote because until you started to deflect every sentence of every comment was a defence of that shit. Hence my advice to reread them.
If you are still in HS it is totally reasonable to talk to your teacher or the school counselor about this. We are trained to help you. Let them.
call him grandpa
You do have different values.
I hate to say it, but it’s a different world for men and women when it comes to picking up hitchhikers. Women are more likely to be prone to violence, and that’s not even bringing in your actual lives experience you’ve already had.
It sounds like to me, you would LOVE to help people if it weren’t for the possible threat to your livelihood. Instead of recognizing that, your bf is more concerned with his own philosophical ideals of altruism instead of the very real need to protect your well being.
In September 2021 you posted about “exploding against your girlfriend” (not sure what that means) and then you made multiple posts in 2021 and one in early 2023 about how you “suffer from episodes of depersonalization often” 6-10 times a week.
How did you determine you suffer from those episodes? Did you see a doctor then? Have you seen a doctor at any point within the past two years since you've been posting those statements?
You forgot the part where you ask for advice about a relationship
You're his partner now, what he's requesting would make me uncomfortable personally. When drugs and Ex's are involved, I don't want to be a part of it.
1.) please use paragraphs or something it makes it very difficult to read a wall of text.
2.) Info: when was this? Did you already “take a break” or “breakup”?
Your timeline is very confusing and without knowing anything about the arguments I can’t give any input. You just said you were “Tired of her BS” but then also mention you were pushing her away, this doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship but again your post as long as it is is not very clear .
Clearly she prioritized a quick fuck over your entire life together. Remember that.
You should not be involved with anyone as it's clear you only care about yourself.
If you're working hard at your business, that's all you can do to reasonably prove you're not with him for money. Because you'll be making your own! If he can't accept that, that's not something you're going to be able to fix.
Have you suggested something less than penetrative sex that is low effort, but still intimate and pleasurable? I doubt it's really about the effort if it's been a year, but at this point it might feel like too big a moment and invite new problems like performance anxiety.
Before you suggest an open relationship or divorce, I think it would be fair for you to alert him to how serious this problem has become and invite him to work on it with you. If he remains reticent to even try, then no consequence that follows is unjustified. But, in my experience, there are times where hearing the gravity of the situation makes a lasting difference. There are no guarantees, but its worth trying one last time.
Lists suck for the privileged because they can put it down and “come back to it.”
The only way is to put one thing on the list. Nothing else exists. Literally one task. Not lunch later or calling his girlfriend or taking a shower. If I'm sitting on the couch and the only thing I'm allowed to do when I get up is the dishes then I have only two options… Stay on the couch or do the dishes. I don't worry about everything else in my day I just know, for a fact, when I stand up I'm heading to the kitchen. That gives him plenty of time to do whatever he's currently doing and get comfortable with what he's doing next.
There's really no giving up on a relationship “too” early.
I mean sure, maybe it'll get better and he will turn into the love of your life…. but chances of that are slim to none. What's more probable is you'll spend too long on this relationship, it'll be very miserable and your precious time will be wasted
Don't ease the weight of cheating by going “oh, it was with a girl”, because at the end of the day, it's still cheating.
Whether you're OK with it or not, it's your call. Just don't assume it's somehow “better” than if she cheated with you on a guy.
I think he's been lying about something to you or them, and doesn't know how to get himself out of it so he's trying to make sure it never comes out
If that's a boundary for you, you can definitely tell him. But a lot of people have private accounts to follow porn, so you need to really think deeply if this is a true dealbreaker. There are definitely men out there who don't do this, but it's less common.
And here is an EXCELLENT reason to not marry your finace.
Like, what the hell did he think was going to happen?
Even if you had “given up” and figured your cat would have a good life with his co-worker eventually you would have had a conversation with his wife about it.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she left him as well for taking part in something so shitty.
There is no future in this relationship, which why he just won't come right out and say it, because it sounds shitty and it is shitty.
He obviously did not intend to spend any of YOUR spring break with your nor did he intend on you spending any time on HIS time off. That is a HUGE RED FLAG he is waving here. Plus his anger is another. This is not a 'real' relationship for him, just until he finds something else.
+,
She is a JNMIL
Yea sadly true. He definitely doesn’t love OP. OP deserves much better.
Your wife does NOT 'Love you'.
She was happily getting finger banged while sleeping with other person. While also likely flirting and kissing all night.
She didn't have an ounce of respect for you. Your marriage is over. Don't listen to some pathetic asshole with no spine tell you that it's not as bad because the other person was female.
Owe he has plans for his week off. Your just not the girl on his menu
Yes, really as I've already mentioned.
I’m very jelly 🙁 you have such a wonderful partnership
And I have said that this has never been my experience. And that every man who I ever tried to only be friends with always wanted more. And have even tried to have sex with me. And that people have always told me that men and women can not only be friends because one person will want more. But apparently you missed that part because you are too busy talking sh*t.
Flushable wipes are not really flushable. Don't waste your money. They will back up your sewage system. Toilet paper does biodegrade.
he is sober. neither of us drink. we don’t hitchhike, as we both have vehicles. we both lived pretty impulsive nomadic lifestyles in our 20’s though… that is what i was referring to.
you are correct though. love is not enough to float a relationship, that was a hard one to learn. bout killed me i am a diehard romantic but it’s true. love is not enough.
i’m still waiting to chat with him. He’s out gardening and planting some trees for my mom.
He probably realized belatedly that you were going to get a notification about it so only texted you to cover his ass. Stand firm in your boundaries with him, including no more “cheat hugs”??♀️ Dude sounds manipulative AF.
You are taking on far too much responsibility for your partners mental health. If he cannot work without you going with him then he probably shouldn't be working. You will nurn yourself out and start to resent him. I know you think you're helping him but it's the opposite.
Once trust is broken, it is very very difficult to have a quality, healthy relationship with someone. Staying together for the kids will only make for a toxic environment for them as well. They are better off being around two individual parents who are happy versus two who are together and not happy. If you decide to stay together, find a good counselor. It will be just about impossible to repair the relationship on your own.
This is what confused the hell out of me. Why was he just going to propose without ever dating and why is she now considering dumping her fiance to now go ahead with it?
Reddit relationship advice at its finest
There is no “father”. You're sending your money to a scammer.
Do you want to be feeling like this in one year? What about ten years from now? Can you spend 30 years with him like this? When you die will you spend your last moments glad that you stayed with him?
You don't have to hate someone to break up with them. You don't even have to stop loving them. You just have to realise you don't want to be with them any more.
We should all occasionally ask ourselves; if I met him tomorrow, and he was this version of himself, would I even go on a date? If you wouldn't even date him, you shouldn't be with him.
I'm going to be honest, based on what you described I don't think there's any reason to instigate a confrontation. It seems you may be sleuthing for reasons to confront her, and searching for evidence to confirm a conclusion borne of insecurity. Other than a random missing jacket, has she given you any reason to distrust her?
I think the problem might be something else.
Your story makes sense, and it makes sense why you wouldn’t want to pick up random strangers on the road. I didn’t have a traumatic experience about it, but I would never pick up strangers on the road for safety reasons. But then I did grow up somewhere that not many people could be trusted.
I think the partner should be sensitive about your past experience.
On this isolated thing, I don’t really see you guys having different values. But his comment makes me wonder if he’s unhappy with other things in the relationship? And it’s coming out like this? Maybe it’s good to have a heart to heart and see what really bothers him and find solutions for it. I feel he might be in a negative though pattern (don’t tell him that).
No worries mate, I know how easy it is to get caught up in your thoughts sometimes. Have a good weekend!
It's not like he's on the fence here. You will never win him over. Move on.
Stop treating him that way. Simple. If you want this to end, YOU'RE the reason it's happening. You're treating him badly.
Don't want him to shut down? Don't treat him badly. Do better.
He didn’t say partner. He said women.
I have caught him with messages to other women in the past. I was thinking maybe he’s at it again
Either confront her, let it go or plot revenge.
Personally I’d let it go.
If you want to plot revenge – might I suggest finding someone to make your own comics, maybe detailing some things that you know about her that she would not like to see the light of day.
Haha, well he fucked up then and did you a massive favour in the meantime because it exposed a huge case of misdirection going on from him. Now you get to be actually real about the relationship.
I feel like a lot of older people in my family would do that. They didn’t want to clog the septic system too fast. But only for pee never poop
You saw something troubling, asked her directly and she answered genuinely. All good.
He’s 30, behaving like a teenager, having unprotected casual sex, lying, cheating, and now with two little kids (who I am sure you’re supposed to babysit). You are 23. RUN, GIRL!
Your marriage sounds exactly like mine. Guess what? I stopped initiating also due to the constant rejections. Ha. We opened up the marriage and I now have a FWB. Good luck
Your grandmother gifted it to you. It’s yours. Your sister has a lot she needs to work through. Things she has likely felt all this time but wasn’t able to express at the time. It’s not fair of her to demand this or act like you don’t support her transition if you don’t give her the ring. Make it clear that you do love her and support her, but stand your ground about the ring.
So proud of you OP. I (34f) never had your courage when I was younger ?
Why do you treat young women so poorly? Why do you demean the intelligence and maturity of adult women? Do they not have their own free will? Their own autonomy? The freedom to make decisions that are in their best interest? It may not be your dating strategy to date an older man, but many women worldwide do so and profit greatly by doing so. They get mates that are mature, financially stable, and secure by doing so. Not everyone has to live! their lives as you dictate.
She's for the streets brother. She disrespected you 4 different times. In the span of one night.
Let this one go.
Exactly, I'd also bet she's still involved with husband.
She's basically asking the OP to buy a house for her and her husband.
Even if husband was out of equation completely, there is still no reason for him to be the only one to pay, let alone let her be only one with her name on the contract.
Sometimes I genuinely can't believe shitty people like OP's gf exist.
There are a lot of ways to help strangers that don’t involve directly putting oneself in harms’ way. I regularly donate to my local food pantries and volunteer time to organize and load the food parcels. The pantry is open to all who come and there is no background check to determine need.
I’m directly helping others in an organized way with oversight, other adults around, and not putting my own personal safety at risk
Oh yeah I asked him when we first met and he actually said “you’re the youngest I’ve ever dated”
I think the kids say you play yourself.
She's going for 3 weeks holiday; her fam usually does this every year.
Idk, could come across silly and kidding, I always say my 92yo grandfather “is going to pick up his hard young girlfriend” who is 80 (and an angel, I love that lady)
But I get that the jokes hit different now.
Yes.
I see therapy, couples counseling on here a ton..Yet many or most end up breaking up. I am for therapy but here is the deal. You have to stop the behavior. I also think when it gets to this point. The semblance of an real chance at a long term intimate relationship with that person is very small…..When I first started going to AA to stop drinking, I would get three days and relapse, then 5 days, and eventually I had to completely stop doing all the behaviors. Put the plug in the jug.
Quit having friends with people you could date, it is inappropriate in a marriage. The intimacy belongs in the marriage, not an EA. You guys are great examples of why it doesn't work. Stop getting so drunk you have no control over behavior. I never kissed someone I didn't want to..and I am a recovering drunk. Develop some kinks in your marriage to help sex life stay alive, make it a priority. Keep all devices open to the public. If it so bad the other person should not see it, you shouldn't be doing it.
Good luck.
You should leave her be. Maybe her ex has changed, maybe not. If not she will go looking for you once more, only to discard once more for someone else.
You deserve someone that will commit to you, so if she can't choose you then she has made her choice.
he loves dressing up as his favorite superheroes for various events like comic conventions and costume parties.
This is neither. There is a “costume” that is acceptable for the event, and it is stated on the invitation.
I'm concerned that his attire might be seen as inappropriate or disrespectful at a formal event like a wedding. I
It is. Wearing a suit in a funny color or pattern, or showing up in tails and a top hat, sure… but he's wrong, and honestly, if there is any thought in the corner of your mind that you and he may end up marrying, watch out because payback is a bitch.
No one is hating and it seems the family is very accepting. Just because someone chooses to change their gender does not mean that everyone has to change for that individual. It’s actually quite misogynistic to think that. The grandmother did not know this individual as a female and even if she did, you do not know if she would have given the ring to them anyway since they are biological a male.
That's not timelines. You need to be clear with when you want to be married by. Is it 1 year? 2 years?
He needs to have an honest conversation with you and if he can't, then you have your answer on if he will marry you.
Maybe offer to give it to your eldest child? Gender irrelevant?
“You weren't out yet and the ring was gifted to me. It means a lot to me, and I don't want to part with it. But you're right that gender-binding inheritance can hurt. This ends with our generation. I'll be gifting this ring to the eldest of my children.”
I would also reassure her, once, “you're a woman. I don't see you as anything but a woman. This isn't a secret stab that I still see you as a brother and undeserving. This is me pleading with you to understand how important the ring and the connection to grandma is to me. Once we move past this, I would love to loan it to you for special occasions – so we can share this connection to our grandma.”
But truly, I feel for you both and see how complicated this can be. But I think you're the owner of the ring.
Does he smash better than you?
It’s unfortunately not funny.
She's laughing at you, not the situation. And you are very, very funny.
Completely agree with everything. Nah he met her once she turned 18 I read like 2/3 years worth of convos I know for a fact they didn’t know each other before she turned 18
She is 23 and still in a parent child relationship. Her not paying has been the norm her whole life. If she's so clueless that she makes no attempt to even offer, ever, then she needs to have her feelings hurt.
My X-husband did the numbers and replaced me with a woman who spent those years establishing her career so they had me to do all the nanny stuff and he doubled his income. Yay! But yes saying things like “If thus goes on we will not stay married because you didn't invest in the marriage” did not change it for me. I hope OP'S husband was just having a brain fart and expecting his wife to leave the kids with his folks for her golf thing.
What a magical dream come true!
Honestly to me that almost sounds like a threat. I have a pretty high sex drive so if I'm too tired that's saying something and if I'm not allowed to be tired after a long day any guy can fuck her because I'm out.
Honestly yes you're being intentionally naive. If it's three months in and he's already cheating I'd bounce, personally. The angling it away from you thing is bullshit he was deleting new messages so you'd only see older ones.
Honestly fuck off with your judgement bitch
Then you just need to respect her decision. Looks like it took too much of a toll on her wellbeing.
You can't be a good person and support the things he is supporting. You're with a bad person and you are at least somewhat aware of that. Get out of this relationship if you don't want to enable yet another awful person in society.
There are good men out there that are worthy of your love and support.
I have the same problem. It’s definitely, as someone mentioned before, a death grip problem for me. When I masturbate, I don’t realize how hard I’m holding it until I’m done. But yeah, not being able to cum during vaginal penetration kinda sucks. Then again, I don’t want kids, so I’m not too arsed about it.
Posts have cool things called context ? I joke, but no, I’ve replied to others, we lock the doors when leaving or hanging out in the room. But when we step out for the restroom that’s when when she pounces. As others have stated, I guess I’ll be locking the door no matter what now
What kind of mansion are y’all planning to get than 150k isn’t enough?
I also wouldn’t be cool with that. Is his brother that willing to shell out that amount of money?
WTF. I’m glad your daughter is ok. WTF
So your partner did not go to the daycare and see the kid was not there?
Comes home without kid and who is this midget in bed with my husband, throws lamp immediately.
Dude what the fuck.
I understand you can’t get rid of the girls mother and she would destroy you in court, but I would bring this up every chance I could.
Did you take out the trash? Nope and I didn’t hit out daughter with a lamp like a crazy ***** who went off her meds.
I want to go to “X”. I want a wife that does throw lamps at our daughters.
WTF, you need an apology and your daughter needs one as well.
What does crypto have to do with extra payments on the mortgage? I'm so confused
I’m the four years I’ve been with my partner you know how many times I’ve been interrogated? Zero. Zilch. I’ve been in your shoes in the past and trust me even once or twice is 1) abusive. If you’ve given her no reason not to trust her then she’s just abusing you and 2) Your daughter needs to be away from this behavior.
But she mentioned she feels the same way, should I just discard what she says?
That sound like a good idea I will show it to him, maybe he will benefit from it as well. Thank you
Thank you for this. I appreciate this advice and will take it. You have helped me build a further understanding on my situation and I will make sure to keep it in mind.
He wants a child he could control. You've grown into an adult with opinions of your own, and that makes him very angry.
I don't think this will ever be a healthy relationship.
This is why you have RA’s so that you don’t have to confront her alone.
He's 18, he can't provide those things. And romantic words and gestures are more likely to be appreciated by her in any case.
You might need to rethink the “one person cooks, one person cleans” system. It may have worked for a while, but clearly you are unhappy with the way things are now. She does not get to just steamroll you like this. If she can make unilateral decisions about the household, I’d give her a taste of her own medicine. Whoever uses the dish, cleans it, and you take turns washing kiddo’s dishes. I wonder if her dish usage would decrease if she knew she was the one who had to clean it up… just food for thought (no dishes this time, though).
I totally understand your situation. Many companies are doing this type of thing. My company also does this for instance. I’m married as well for 2.5 years.
Here is what you should do. Wait it out a bit. After the event, hangout with your wife for her birthday and really show her a good time. Also tell her how you felt and why you had feelings of jealousy for the first time, laugh about it, and make her feel extra appreciated and special. Don’t put her on the defensive because she might come to suspect you’re the one cheating or thinking about it. Be chill. Write your feelings down in a journal to make sense of your thoughts, and later tell her how you felt and why without accusing her of anything. The proceed with your good marriage as always. Good luck.
I mean I would have taken the next day off if it was offered, but it wasn’t and that’s okay with me. I’ve always been supportive of her having her time with friends and coworkers. Just a bad feeling in my part and I hate it. I just want to get over it without needing to talk to her about because I don’t want to ruin her time. Any advice?
Block her. She is dangerous. Do not let her back into your life unless you want her and Pied Piper destroy it again. You don’t owe her shelter, money, time, energy or your concern.
Hand him an eviction notice and take back your life!
OP: “my girlfriend made a mistake, we fought and she admitted she was wrong and said sorry”
This sub: “yeah dude that's like serial killer energy, break up and go hide in a cave for the rest of your life while dancing around a rain totem. Probably the only option here.”
recommend talking it out with a counselor or therapist or loved one
fundamentally it's not healthy to live! this way.
if you continue to, it will impact you and your wife's happiness.
Here is the problem – it’s OK that he has ADHD and struggles, it is NOT OK that he is not doing a fucking thing about it and his solution for his executive function disorder is to… make you his executive. That’s not fair to you.
It’s also like this – you don’t want to fuck someone who basically treats you like their mother and caregiver either, so he’s really shooting himself in the foot in terms of making himself attractive to you/anyone else, too.
If he was doing ANYTHING to help himself, it would be a different story. He isn’t. It is not your job to literally manage this man’s whole fucking life, THAT IS HIS JOB.
Nobody should feel bad that they’re struggling with something, but if they aren’t even attempting to help themselves in some way? Yeah that’s a dealbreaker.
What a drag. He was just trying to impress you and now it's a red flag. Most of the jokes you hear are stolen, guy was probably nervous and told you a joke that was guaranteed to make you laugh. Well, just say you weren't interested, next time when he dates, he'll be even more nervous if you try to tell him the real reason.
I've been happily married for 8 years. never once snooped.
It’s called mutual trust. It was successful. Relationships have
I suggest that your unconscious deep thought is that adoring someone so intensely makes breakup unbearably heartbreaking. All I can advise is that you start telling yourself that your current emotions have nothing at all to do with any qualities your current BF lacks, and everything to do with your understandable inability to give yourself to him so completely.
Perhaps a fake-it-til-you-make-it approach would work. Remember how you BEHAVED with your ex, and repeat that behavior, even if your feelings aren't quite as tender and loving as your actions. With repetition, it can become easier and more natural, and with a bit of luck, it can finally become genuine. I wish you all the luck in the world.