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❤️ Vlad and Max ❤️, 19 y.o.
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The dude lives in a van with his daughter and his focus is sex? Weird. Also, why can’t he afford half the rent if he’s working 50 hours a week?
Not so much this sub, but a lot of places on the internet I've seen people, men mostly, act like the orgasm gap is a woman's problem. I've seen people outright say things like “you should take control of your own orgasm” or “your orgasm is your responsibility” in similar conversations.
Generally I've not had the best experience pointing out misogyny on the internet, again not necessarily RA but certainly on Reddit.
I would money on it. The lads holiday is the excuse to go cheat. They were cheating, one wouldn't on his own – the risk is too great, they'd all/both cheat to give each other alibis and cover up.
“For context, I am a really insecure person”
What insecurity did seeing the porn leaks trigger? Also, knowing your bf watches porn, and the leaks aren't of exes, why is it hurtful?
I'm saying that you feeling hurt is invalid, but as another user pointed out, what expectations did you have that wasn't already on the table?
You’ve expressed my very thoughts extremely well. I went into this a bit skeptical, because somehow the phrasing made me wonder if he was looking for validation to inform the other person for the wrong reasons. But his story checks out with me. He should tell her, and if that would be dangerous, go the anonymous route as you very sensibly suggested.
I don’t know why people are saying that shot to you. If she has sexual relations with other guys ofc you can have with other women. If not, she’s a hypocritical ape and you wouldn’t want her anyway
Just break up with her. You can’t unsee what you have seen and the doubt that you are a second choice isn’t going to go away.
Bunch of losers in the comments had their feelings hurt and would rather torpedo a marriage (whether theirs or OP’s) than go to a gym
How dare the big bad man tell the truth ?
So many people when engaged can't face the fact they are having serious doubts. They all think it could get better later. It never does. Yes it was dumb to have proceeded with the relationship that has such a big issue, but if you want out, now is the time, before making the situation worse by having children. You two are together all this time because there is a decent amount of compatibility. OR, you two think this is the best you can do and don't want to start over in the dating world. Both never a good reason to stay together. To all men, sex is extremely important. I don't know how anyone can just put it to the side just to stay in a marriage. Its beyond important to men and anyone that doesn't believe that is most likely not male. Do you want to lay on your death bed knowing you lived such a celibate life, against your will? While a woman should not be coerced into sex, a man also should not be forced into celibacy. Neither approaches are going to work. Most men would have cheated already but you make no mention of doing that so I assume you haven't. Best to split up before resorting to cheating. My husband worked with a guy that never consummated his marriage. NEVER! She had a medical issue where her vagina remained pre pubescent (don't know if I explained that right), so they never had sex. Eventually he found someone else and his ex was furious with him for leaving the relationship for a lack of any sex. A woman would also leave her husband for never touching her. This is not just a male thing. OP has wasted enough time. Either get a sex issues specific couples therapy or leave the marriage before you start a family. This is going downhill. People with no sex drives don't suddenly have a healthy sex drive one day to the next. I also noticed your statement of disliking her clinginess by referring it as “unbearable.” Major sign you may not be in love. Unless you meant it makes you unbearably horny when she is clingy. I don't think you did. People in love want to touch each other… period.
If this is how she handles stress and anxiety that’s a red flag. How can she handle a job? Those are pretty stressful.