Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
You take her back on 1 condition: she tells you the exact reason she chose to break up in the 1st place. No half ass response, u deserve the truth. And she only gets 1 second chance….if she pulls that again, you leave for good
“…I’m the only friend he has and […] if I wasn’t in his life, he’d have nothing to online for (which he’s told me before).”
Your “friend” is emotionally blackmailing you. They are 30 years old, which is more than enough time on this planet to accumulate more than one friend. They clearly want a codependent relationship with you (the weird “hypothetical” game) and it seems pretty obvious that you’re not up for that.
You’ve already put some boundaries out there – I think it’s time you enforce them a little more firmly. Tell them you need a break from them for a while. If you’re ok with being honest about it I think that would be the best approach. But if you’re not ready for that or are afraid of how they might react feel free to come up with another excuse – you have a really big project you were just given at work, a family emergency came up, etc. You just need some time. And then take that time completely without them – a few weeks or a month or however long it takes you to feel like you actually want to spend time with this person again.
And on the off chance that they decide to escalate and start messaging you about dark thoughts or suicidal ideation redirect them to professional resources – you are NOT their therapist, even if you do have professional expertise in that area. This person has invested a lot of effort into trying to make you feel responsible for their mental health and well-being, and that’s not your job. Unfortunately, that means that they may do something drastic when you withdraw – but that is their choice to make. Trying to reshape your life in order to prevent that from happening means putting yourself at the mercy of their wants and needs, and that’s not fair to yourself. Don’t make yourself smaller just because they’re not willing to put in the work to get better.
If we say no, what do you do?
If we say yes, what do you do?
Nowhere to go and no money is not your problem.
Hello /u/throwawaydontask24,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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You take her back on 1 condition: she tells you the exact reason she chose to break up in the 1st place. No half ass response, u deserve the truth. And she only gets 1 second chance….if she pulls that again, you leave for good
Your parents suck
“…I’m the only friend he has and […] if I wasn’t in his life, he’d have nothing to online for (which he’s told me before).”
Your “friend” is emotionally blackmailing you. They are 30 years old, which is more than enough time on this planet to accumulate more than one friend. They clearly want a codependent relationship with you (the weird “hypothetical” game) and it seems pretty obvious that you’re not up for that.
You’ve already put some boundaries out there – I think it’s time you enforce them a little more firmly. Tell them you need a break from them for a while. If you’re ok with being honest about it I think that would be the best approach. But if you’re not ready for that or are afraid of how they might react feel free to come up with another excuse – you have a really big project you were just given at work, a family emergency came up, etc. You just need some time. And then take that time completely without them – a few weeks or a month or however long it takes you to feel like you actually want to spend time with this person again.
And on the off chance that they decide to escalate and start messaging you about dark thoughts or suicidal ideation redirect them to professional resources – you are NOT their therapist, even if you do have professional expertise in that area. This person has invested a lot of effort into trying to make you feel responsible for their mental health and well-being, and that’s not your job. Unfortunately, that means that they may do something drastic when you withdraw – but that is their choice to make. Trying to reshape your life in order to prevent that from happening means putting yourself at the mercy of their wants and needs, and that’s not fair to yourself. Don’t make yourself smaller just because they’re not willing to put in the work to get better.
now you know its missing one. monitor it & if more gone missing then start checking his phone.
so many postings proven that missing condoms is where cheatings have occurred, at home.
Ask to see her ID. Seriously.