Almost the same exact thing happened to me but I wasn’t lucky enough to have someone walk in and stop it. I was a freshman in college and not used to drinking. A guy friend that I trusted saw that I was very drunk at a party and tried to be the “nice guy” and drive me back to my dorm. He was sober. I passed out in his truck and instead of taking me to my dorm he took me to his and carried me inside despite me waking up, saying “this is not my dorm”, and asking him to put me down. I was then carried to his room and raped. I said no many times but was too drunk to get him off of me. I was on my period and he went as far as removing my tampon and putting a towel under me. At that point I blacked out. I woke up very sore, hot, alone, and bruised. I threw up in his floor, got dressed, and ran back to my dorm room. I called my boyfriend at the time crying and freaking out. He blamed me for cheating and yelled at me and said it was my fault because I was drunk. Because of his reaction I didn’t tell a single soul what happened to me and became severely depressed and suicidal. Tread lightly with how you react to this with her. Be there to support her and listen first and then try to get answers later. Trauma is very hard to hide from people you are close with, and you don’t want an accusation of cheating to make her feel like it’s her fault and not get the help she may desperately need.
Just some advice until you can get the hell out of there. If he ever hits you again ball up your fist and punch him in the face as hot as you can. I know a lot of people are going to jump all over me for saying that but I've been in two abusive relationships in my life and the only thing they understand is if you fight back. Otherwise you'll always be the victim.
There is nothing you can do to avoid his abuse. He will always find a reason. It is also not your job to change your behavior to avoid abuse. It’s his job to not abuse you.
Nothing you could do or say would make it okay for him to speak to you like this.
Yeah I totally get ya, but since the planning was before I met my now bf, and alot of the accommodation and tickets have been booked, I just need a way to explain to him that nothing is going to happen on this trip. I have full trust in my BF and he does me, but I don't want to keep him in the dark either because it'll me more suspicious if I didn't tell him the he was my ex.
I think he will take it well, but I just need a way to formulate my wording.
The reasons are relevant here because if they're valid, you need to go work on yourself in thos departments.
As for the relationshio itself, it's over. Take your time to heal and seperate as much as possible. Surround yourself with family and friends to take your mind off of it. Because otherwise you're obsessing over someone who doesn't want you and it's unhealthy.
If your ex knows about this it probably would affect any internal deliberation she's doing about taking you back. But you don't even make it clear that your ex has any interest in rekindling things. So if it's just your vain hopeless hope of reconciliation holding you back this FWB fling might actually be a good way to help you move on.
Jerking off/watching porn at work can put him on the sex offender registry, so there’s that.
I honestly don’t know how your self esteem isn’t in the dirt. If my SO told me that he was imagining other women while actively having sex with me I would lose my mind.
You need to leave him, it’s not going to get any better.
When they’re older? Yeah not a big deal. But she was 18. By the time I was 21 the freshmen 18 year olds coming into college looked like children to me- because they were when it comes to life experience, maturity, relationship experience, and just general shared activities.
Based on your history, you have a boyfriend problem. If you can’t tell, people’s advices aren’t helping you.
75% of stats are made up.
I think it would be disrespectful not to let her dad give you a deep dickin.
Almost the same exact thing happened to me but I wasn’t lucky enough to have someone walk in and stop it. I was a freshman in college and not used to drinking. A guy friend that I trusted saw that I was very drunk at a party and tried to be the “nice guy” and drive me back to my dorm. He was sober. I passed out in his truck and instead of taking me to my dorm he took me to his and carried me inside despite me waking up, saying “this is not my dorm”, and asking him to put me down. I was then carried to his room and raped. I said no many times but was too drunk to get him off of me. I was on my period and he went as far as removing my tampon and putting a towel under me. At that point I blacked out. I woke up very sore, hot, alone, and bruised. I threw up in his floor, got dressed, and ran back to my dorm room. I called my boyfriend at the time crying and freaking out. He blamed me for cheating and yelled at me and said it was my fault because I was drunk. Because of his reaction I didn’t tell a single soul what happened to me and became severely depressed and suicidal. Tread lightly with how you react to this with her. Be there to support her and listen first and then try to get answers later. Trauma is very hard to hide from people you are close with, and you don’t want an accusation of cheating to make her feel like it’s her fault and not get the help she may desperately need.
He's coming from a very arrogant and selfish place.
I recommend you grow as much body hair as you can.
See how he likes a wookie.
Just some advice until you can get the hell out of there. If he ever hits you again ball up your fist and punch him in the face as hot as you can. I know a lot of people are going to jump all over me for saying that but I've been in two abusive relationships in my life and the only thing they understand is if you fight back. Otherwise you'll always be the victim.
There is nothing you can do to avoid his abuse. He will always find a reason. It is also not your job to change your behavior to avoid abuse. It’s his job to not abuse you.
Nothing you could do or say would make it okay for him to speak to you like this.
Goodbye
Yeah I totally get ya, but since the planning was before I met my now bf, and alot of the accommodation and tickets have been booked, I just need a way to explain to him that nothing is going to happen on this trip. I have full trust in my BF and he does me, but I don't want to keep him in the dark either because it'll me more suspicious if I didn't tell him the he was my ex.
I think he will take it well, but I just need a way to formulate my wording.
The reasons are relevant here because if they're valid, you need to go work on yourself in thos departments.
As for the relationshio itself, it's over. Take your time to heal and seperate as much as possible. Surround yourself with family and friends to take your mind off of it. Because otherwise you're obsessing over someone who doesn't want you and it's unhealthy.
You should prob not spend as much time round there or mostly see her when your with your bf
Thank you for the advice. I'll try talking to her about this sometime.
No one needs a man’s opinion on how to handle creepy men like yourself thanks
If your ex knows about this it probably would affect any internal deliberation she's doing about taking you back. But you don't even make it clear that your ex has any interest in rekindling things. So if it's just your vain hopeless hope of reconciliation holding you back this FWB fling might actually be a good way to help you move on.
Jerking off/watching porn at work can put him on the sex offender registry, so there’s that.
I honestly don’t know how your self esteem isn’t in the dirt. If my SO told me that he was imagining other women while actively having sex with me I would lose my mind.
You need to leave him, it’s not going to get any better.
When they’re older? Yeah not a big deal. But she was 18. By the time I was 21 the freshmen 18 year olds coming into college looked like children to me- because they were when it comes to life experience, maturity, relationship experience, and just general shared activities.
Break it off and go NC. Do not take him back again. Some exes can get back together if the can resolve their issues. This is not the case.
Why subject yourself to this. Respect yourself and move forward.
You got it!