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Realistic speaking there isn't anything you can do. Your gf probably needs to address what makes her jealous. Having a very honest conversation could be the first step.
If you don't communicate and she doesn't try to avoid this jealous tendency, it will happen over and over again. Today is the band manager, then your boss and problems will pile up.
As someone who have been in a very similar situation, my guess is:
she's been cheated or played before. she's very insecure. she has a dominant personality and wants to control you.
Ask her if your female friend had given me a blowjob in the bathroom. Would you forgive me?
This isn't his fault. He's not breaking your heart. You're breaking your own heart. He only offered friendship. This all falls back into your attachment issues and is definitely something you need therapy to deal with.
it snowed on Sunday evening here in the uk and whilst making plans I told him that she was going to bust from her house and he seemed generally repelled by the idea
i have no idea what this means
Thank you so much for this, I started crying just reading it because it’s so hopeful. Many people here lack empathy and don’t understand that I’ve never been in this position before and don’t know how to feel but thank you so much.
As an outsider, I'm really curious why you're trying so hard for this guy even after describing an awful situation you went through just to go to meet him when he won't drive to you because he'll lose parking.
I'm sorry but as an outsider it's kinda just funny and sad context of like…why? Youre only dating. Haven't said for long but really can't be that long right?
This just sounds like youre putting in more work than he is. Youre more interested in him than he is in you. And really you sound more serious about him than he does you.
It sounds like youre putting more energy into someone who isn't doing the same for you.
I know, I do value it and think we’re good together but not ‘amazing’, so don’t know if I’m overthinking that there will be that amazing out there or good is perfect
I'm confused as to what advice you need?
The relationship was toxic and wasn't going anywhere. You made the right call and broke up. Who's gives a fuck what she things.
She wasn't fully committed to you by telling you shell cheat on you. Just block her. That would be right thing to do. Your new girlfriend will probably feel some type of way to know your still talking to your ex and allowing her to express these things to you. That will tell your new gf that your not over your ex ??♀️
Given the info in this comment, I think you would be wise to get a comprehensive audit off your finances, especially the credit cards and/or accounts that he exclusively uses or has access to. If deception is such a casual part of his character, based on your description of his behavior I'd say there's a better than even chance that he's cheating on you. This discovery, if you handle things wisely now, might be the best thing that's ever happened to you. You deserve a better partner.
It sounds like he is married.
You have a choice here, you can be true to yourself or you can sacrifice what you want to make someone else happy. No one can make that choice but you. Walking away is way easier said than done but you have to ask yourself, how does it make you feel to hear that he wouldn’t find you attractive if you did something for yourself on your own body? And where does it end? There are other people who can give you all the love and partnership that you are looking to get from him without all the hang ups, you just have to be brave enough to leave what feels safe for the unknown. I think you’re going to figure this out, and you’re going to get through this, but I know it’s daunting. Do it on your own time, but don’t let yourself be lost to complacency ?
Fair enough, thank you for expanding on your perspective and it makes sense.
Yeah, it is truly a head scratcher. People should be able to do what they want with their own bodies.
It's not that I can't it's just that our relationship is still very new, and I'm still a bit shy about some things.
Dude…break up…right now.
If he was texting he wants to put babies in another woman… he’s Fking her. Please don’t lie to yourself.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted. You're speaking the truth.
I'm fairly oblivious on a good day and if someone vaguely man-shaped sat at the table next to me while i was telling a story while i was also kind of drunk at a social gathering where i would expect my husband to be, I really probably wouldnt notice until i turned my head to actually look at them.
I've been startled in my own house by my husband approaching me. It's not even like he sneaks up on me or is moving around quietly. There's a part of my brain that acknowledges that he's somewhere doing something in the house, but if i'm in The Zone and cooking or something and he is suddenly RIGHT THErE, I get startled.
You say no to both.
But lets be real. They both had the guts to tell you this and they both want to. You are naïve if you think this wont happen (has not already happened).
Immaturity or mental illness.
Sounds like it's time for a sit down conversation, and if she can't do that much, then it's up to you to decide if you want to accept her behavior or not.
So unless his phone camera was hacked
Why is this out of the question?
wow. leave is how.
I'm curious to know how she behaves towards the kids in the mornings.
They're in denial about him so deep it's delusional. I wonder if there's a literal mental illness to describe this sort of thing?
And yes, they're twisted where he's concerned.
Why anyone thinks a marriage is going to do great when one of the people disappears for long amounts of time is just very unrealistic. In hindsight, when you started sending the distance, a career change might have been necessary if that was how much you wanted to save the marriage. Now, there's also the factor that your wife is letting this happen and enjoys not working on the relationship. Two big bummers working in conjunction.
Also, I don’t want to totally freak you out but I really think you should get the mold tested. Certain molds can make people awfully sick.
A friend of mine was exposed to black mold when they were fixing up their house after a hurricane. She has so much damage that she had to have a double lung AND heart transplant.
I don’t screw around with mold. I’d find the money to at least get it tested.
Content irrelevant. Ridiculous age gap detected.
You are young. You deserve better. You have time. There is a reason he can’t dare women his own age….
Please, ignore every other red flag that he clearly displays if you wish, but go get yourself with someone appropriate.
He is either an absolute loser, or is preying on your power imbalance. You are in radically different stages of life, and there is nothing for you here.
So, basically what you are saying is that she wanted a wedding – not a marriage.
In that case, I'm wondering if you can get an annulment for fraud.
Have you even brought your trip up to your friend? Or did she ask to go? If the answer is no to either, especially the first, then it sounds like you just thought of bringing her but then started getting bitter thoughts, all completely on your own. In any case, it sounds like you’re much more invested in this friendship than she is. If you wouldn’t enjoy the trip because you’ll just be thinking about what she hasn’t done for you, you won’t have a good time. Just go by yourself. It’ll be way better.
Found OPs alt account
he had a very high up the ladder position and he was always very flirty with me, he’d give me compliments daily, sends me flowers and offers me rides back home with his driver when I stay up late. I thought it was just him being genuinely nice
No way this is real
Break up with your girlfriend she's very controlling and she's the one that sounds needy not your mom
Personally, I couldn't be in a relationship with someone like this. She's far too selfish to put the cats needs first – you guys should have given that cat up a long time ago.
At this point I think number three is honestly the only way you're going to be able to have any self-respect
Maybe I'm just out of touch. Would someone please explain to me how exclusive fwb is different from dating? I have always viewed fwb as someone you could have sex with when you were horny and didn't have another option at the time.
I think people want to trigger the whole anxious remittent reinforcing strategy. It’s known that people will be more drawn to a “maybe” and “hot/cold”. They are drawn to it, but it’s not a healthy foundation for a relationship. I can’t handle guys who do that. It makes me anxious and I don’t confuse that with love anymore (I used to when I was younger). All these games made me rather avoidant when it comes to dating, and I have more walls to break down.
I would recommend just keeping your normal text frequency and not play any stupid games. Be open, honest and vulnerable. I know it’s very hot, but it will reward you in the end.
I might be a bit more avoidant now, but I never play games and I’m always honest if I like someone. Life is too short and good people are too hot to come by. There’s no point wasting it.
Read and follow the package instructions
Oooo….kaaayyy.
Well, first and foremost, he needs to get a paternity test. Full stop.
I'm not going to make assumptions or offer advice or opinions.
Paternity test. NOW.
I do love her and have to problem waiting. Maybe eventually i’ll understand what she feels for me. I’ve fallen for her all over again and im afraid this ends with a broken heart
Maybe what you describe as friendship with Edwina is probably an emotional affair. You seem to be very close and spend alot of time with her. Probably your wife sees the signs as she went through it with Elmer. If you want to stay married try to focus more on your marriage and go to marriage counsellor to fix what ‘s wrong .
what is Edwina advise you when you’re venting against your wife ? This brings both of you closer
Man. You're 3 months into this relationship and she's already being immature and giving you the silent treatment for liking the content that you like on your social media. She's also invasive and stalks your profile to see what you like. She should grow up before dating.
Therapy. But also.. it's only been a week. Of course you are in shock and depressed.
Unfortunately it will take a long time before things feel normal again, you must be kind to yourself and not expect yourself to get over it anytime soon. Baby steps. Grief is a long road, and with a traumatic death it doesn't just go away.. really, ever. It gets better and better but it will always be a part of you.
I am so sorry you're going through this. Were you close to her family?
He's lying because he is doing something he feels is wrong. In his head (and heart) he is cheating on you, so he therefore has to lie to cover it up. Your boundaries are different and you don't have a problem with him interacting with other women and that's ok. Just know that he knows what he feels for those women and he knows he is doing a bad thing on purpose, cue the plethora of lies.
It can be every kind of guy.
And are women immune to this or are they also “fucking pigs”?
Mood swings that are positive or negative depending on how masculine her partner is…
You’re not gonna get in trouble. It’s not illegal to date someone with mental issues. But I would do her a favor and let her follow her mentor’s advice. If someone older and smarter so saying to not date, it’s probably a good idea and reasoning behind it.
A relationship might be distracting her from bettering herself mentally. Though she might feel nice around you and feel happy, it’s still a distraction from the mental work she needs to do.
That's just his interpretation of what they said. In this post, he said the therapist didn't think that he had a porn addiction but that he was so starved for affection that he was looking to get it anyway he could. Since they were only having sex every few months, he was turning to porn. I think in his head that meant “the therapist thinks it's her fault too.”
Ok. What's the excuse for the other things? You are dating a truly awful person. The only one who doesn't realize that is you. I guaratee the people closest to you know it too.
I don't have any idea why you didn't just back out of the dinner. Your gf could have easily just gone without you and explained that you fractured your orbital bone. Showed them a pic even. Please advocate for yourself more.
Her parents will get over it. It isn't as if you did something wrong. Too bad you didn't make up a good story vs. letting them know that while you were sleeping with their daughter, she elbowed you. Awkward.
Yes, it's so heartbreaking.. I dealt with it for two years before I “broke up” our friendship, telling her I couldn't handle the emotional turmoil anymore and I shouldn't have been so unbelievably stressed about asking her to not bring her boyfriend to my get together. It still saddens me and I wonder if I could have done more, but they are still together a year later.. Good luck girl. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink 🙁
I would definitely tell her, and tell her how stressful it was to even ask her… or if she truly wont hear you you might need to take a break from the friendship. I hope it works out
What was the cause of the breakup? What do you want out of your relationship/situationship? Have y'all talked about how you feel/what you want out of this?
We won’t have free day the whole month but that’s ok
I think the statistic is that victims of domestic abuse are 8x more likely to be killed by their partner if their partner has strangled them. Get out of this situation now. Don’t blame yourself, don’t stay in this situation. Make a plan. There are on-line resources if you don’t have family or friends nearby that can help you.
Oh honey that’s not admiration that sounds like full on LUST.