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Apologies, I edited the link. It’s the Alcoholics Anonymous sub. Mostly folks from the US and UK.
r/AlAnon
These things should be discussed BEFORE pregnancy, so you can know where this person stands.
You have every right to demand a paternity test, whether she agrees to do it before birth or after, it must be done before you agree to support or visitation. If she has a problem with that, she can kick rocks. The ball is in her court.
Please leave and take your children with you, you deserve to be happy and so do they. You can make them happy by separating from this woman and staying away.
Your husband’s feelings are superficial. He loves you when you’re fit but despised you when you gain weights.
Your boyfriend is dating this other woman, I hope you realize. Don't put up with this. Kick his cheating ass to the curb.
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Yeah it was weird…I only raised the idea of booking a holiday together this year and that spiralled into this whole conversation about future. We already have tickets booked for a few things in March, which he planned earlier so I’m confused. I told him I’m not ready to be married either – I’d need years with someone – but I get excited thinking about future experiences with him like living or travelling together and think he’s worth the risk of failure. I didn’t understand why it’s either all or nothing within a week – was strange.
the only other date i’ve ever been on was with my (now) ex when i was like 15. so when we were children? i don’t even know how to act right lol but i’ll try! but i think i should take it slow too but wow i’m nervous!
Duh. That’s what I wrote.
He's being a complete prat about this, and I'm also guessing he'll get over this for real once his baby girl enters the world. That being said, “husband, pregnancy & gender are a crapshoot & I don't appreciate you distancing yourself from me because the baby's gender isn't what you wanted. It's unfair to me. Please do whatever you can to get over this so that we can continue with an emotionally healthy pregnancy.”
Yup.
He knows you hate it. Repeatedly doing something to someone that hates it and has asked over and over to have it not happen is called torturing them. Torture.
Think about that. Now can you tell me how you can possibly not consider torture abusive?
That's not even getting into asking you if you enjoy torturing people you love. Do you feel good when you know you are causing anguish and pain on someone you love? “Hell no!” You say? Bc you love them? Exactly.
Yea it's over. For sure it's done.
Move on and learn from your mistakes
That sucks, but you are not responsible for her. She is not your dependent. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but it sounds like you'll be better off without her. Best of luck.
Maybe people perceive him as “sensitive” and feel like they need to think before they speak?
Even if he isn't, he maybe gives off that vibe so maybe that's why men aren't has comfortable around him?
I'm not defending this person
At 27 I was dating a 43 year old man who I met at 14 but that's another story for another thread. I couldn't imagine dating anyone my age or younger. After a bad breakup I met my little brother's friend. He was 24 and I was 30.
He pursued me, with my little brother's blessing as he was tired AF about me crying about the old dude. I wasn't going to date a guy I deemed a “child”.
Here I am 14 years later married to him. We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago.
Never say never because of a couple of years (unless it's your child's bff or an actual lifetime of age difference) because you might miss the best thing to ever happen to you.
Sorry can't tell you where his mindset is.
He could be awkward and unsure how to advance things or it could be he is only interested at his convenience.
My advice is to just ask him where he sees you tow in the short term, just buds, fwb, etc.
Like what is his intentions in the short term if there was no longterm pressure.
That kind of questioning will probably get you some good info on where his head is at if you do trust him to be honest.
I phrased it wrong. She told people they were having sex SINCE they were kids, so obviously it matters to me, so… like I asked. Does nothing really mean nothing?
Im assuming simce yall are married that yall are under the same phone provider and if so then check her messages through them first instead of checking her phone
I personally wouldn’t have this kid. I can’t knowingly make myself a single mom of 2.
Just that. That you really enjoy the time you spend together but you think from a relationship perspective you’re not very compatible. Unfortunately whether you’re 19 or 49 there’s never an easy way to have this sort of conversation – you’ve just gotta rip off the band aid
I would be instantly disgusted with my husband if he reacted that way. We have been together for 6 years from south Texas. He hasn't always been so open-minded. Not out of malice, but out of ignorance. I explained a lot of LGBTQ+ issues and discussed some sensitive topics with him. The conversations were always very productive. Even if he didn't understand, his goal always seemed to be to do so. However if he came at the discussion like this….hell no. So ignorant and shows a complete lack of empathy. Black and white thinking. You would be wasting your time and talking to a wall.
No. His boundary could be, “my wife doesn't exclude me from her life.”
I see nothing wrong with that assessment, I'm not worried about me getting out, I'm worried about the repercussions to get life from leaving her 30yr old boyfriend.
Get therapy dude
her: “I hate drama!!!”
also her: is drama