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Agree to disagree. One of the definitions of “mistake” is:
1 : a wrong judgment : MISUNDERSTANDING 2 : a wrong action or statement proceeding from faulty judgment, inadequate knowledge, or
I’m not defending the guy (he’s a total asshole) but what he did was a mistake. Now if the wording was accidental, then you’d be spot on because what he did was not an accident. Ultimately it’s your life, your definition, and your choice how to proceed.
My wife would never hurt our children
But by especially hitting you in front of them she has.
I'm so sorry for your loss. A reasonable time for grieving is however long you need. Adding pregnancy during that process is one huge mix of emotions. When I was pregnant with my 3rd child, I burst into tears because the library didn't have the book I wanted. To make it worse, I knew that was ridiculous and irrational, but I couldn't stop myself. Hormones are no joke.
It sounds like you can talk with your mother. Just emphasize it is pregnancy and grief emotions all mixed together, not that you are upset about her dating. I bet she'll understand. And find someone, a professional if necessary, to talk with about your grief. Best wishes
Break up for good!! You saw in those 2 weeks how much better you are without him!! Stay on the positive path without him!
I'm not a “young girl” and I'm not being “abused”.
This is my first time dating someone significantly older and I knew that it would come with some challenges. I think we struggle with communication and with him seeing me as an equal partner who is capable of making my own decisions.
I'm trying to figure out if it's possible to work through this.
You never mentioned that you actually experienced any side effects from BC, just that you read about them. You know that most everything in life potentially has side effects, right? There are also non-hormonal methods of BC. Are you sure you are not throwing the baby out with the bathwater? Me, personally, would never want to leave BC in the hands of someone else since I'm the one who would have to deal with a BC failure.
Nope, this is over. He said he didn’t love you and wanted a divorce after you expressed that you want a more equitable marriage. Move on.
There is no “should”. The question is whether it is acceptable to her current partner, i.e., you.
Is there a plan for ending this cohabitation? With timelines?
What will her life look like afterwards? Who will have primary custody of the kid?
Do you want to be a step-parent or a step-dad-ish? Are you ok with the fact that the father of her child will always be in her life with respect to custody and co-parenting?
If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, please limit it to sex buddies and lose the relationship bit.
I should add im also his first and we're both virgins
Part of me wants to pay you on the bottom and tell you she chose you out of all those other guys and that’s what you’re special.
But also, come on man. She dated other people until she met you, that’s life. Here’s a secret, the older you get, the more this is the case.
I was was actually just thinking this morning, this whole “body count” and “she dated other people and I’m sad” thing is dehumanizing. It’s dehumanizing because you are supposed to love the person in front of you and that person includes everything up until that point in time, the good, the bad whatever and if you want to pick and choose the parts you love about them, it’s not real, it’s a fantasy version. A wish of who they could have been and will never be in your eyes.
This concept of “she’s mine and needs to have only been mine” is so possessive and draconian.if that’s what you need in life find one of two 18 year old virgins out there and marry her right away, cause that’s going to be your only option, then lock her in the basement because god forbid she start wondering what life would have been like as a young adult and you stop feeling special and we have to do this all over again.
His behavior is honestly such a red flag. He won’t let this go so you need to have a plan. Do not let him wear you down. Men like this feel entitled to their spouse’s money and will happily steal from them. Be careful. I’d also do a credit check to make sure he’s not taken any loans out in your name to pay off his debt. It sounds extreme but it happens a lot. Honestly I’d stop paying for his stuff until he gets his financial shit together. You are enabling his poor behavior and you’ll end up paying, literally, for it.
Looking at porn isn't cheating. The brigading of this post by the pornaddiction subreddit is pathetic. Porn addiction isn't a thing that many clinical psychologists believe exists. Hence, why OPs small survey of therapists yielded these results. Many therapists/counsellors/psychiatrists now have to fight misinformation about porn use and misconceptions around addiction. Do a little digging and you'll find that much of the media and website surrounding “porn addiction” comes from religious organizations that are masquerading as scientific organisations. The reality is that reliable meta-analysis of peer reviewed studies show that there is little to no merit to the concept of “porn addiction.”
I think your right about her using you as a backup. Its not fair for you to be used that way. This is jist my opinion based on my experience being divorced and somewhat gone through the same situation. I would work on myself and keep your guard up that maybe just maybe she checked out of this relationship. Maybe that way you won't be hurt so much if this doesnt work out. I noticed when i started taking care of myself and my x realized i didnt care anymore and started dating she wanted to fix things once again. Might be the case for you. You might also meet somebody that you click better with. Then she might end up losing a good guy and regretting it. Keep your guard up but work on your self in case it dont work out. No one deserves to be a side piece. Good luck.
Time to say goodbye. He gave in this time because after two hours of arguing he still couldn’t wear you down into agreeing. But make no mistake, he’s going to keep trying to establish control over you.
Uh. Why are you assuming he’s paying for any of her shit? You have no idea how they split bills so it’s pretty chauvinistic of you to assume he pays for everything.
Leave, but don't cheat, and frankly you are no catch with your post. So divorce her, and pay child support. Then sleep around don't do it while married. It is bad enough both are not grown up enough to create a life with your child. Try to show character, divorce, then date.
8 months is a long relationship at 21 , but it still has to be built on trust.
You can love some and not have the timing, location, or mix be right.
Damn, get out quick, definitely not compatible.
Yeah, she's going to go on a date with him. She crossed the line with being “friends” after they just met.
Well that's good. He might want to talk to a therapist to sort out why he's so uncomfortable. Otherwise you're both just guessing and getting more frustrated..
Dude, there is no way she just gave you her phone.
This right here^ lol If my sister did that to me she wouldn't see me again unless it was my funeral. ?
I have more info – this is not the whole picture, just want some POVs.
He’s in a retaliation marriage lmao