They have no idea you feel this way. It sounds like you’ve always been the friend who cheerfully does everything asked, and they’ve gotten very used to this. It’s totally okay to say no to these things! You don’t even need a good excuse. Just say you can’t or are busy.
You can't make an addict get help for their addictions. He will have to come to that conclusion himself.
But what you can do is remove yourself from the situation and seek better for yourself. You say you value a life of sobriety. Well, he clearly doesn't. And you can't make him stop smoking. You've already had this conversation with him loads of times, so I think it's time you stop waiting around for him to change because he won't.
It's time for you to move on and live! the life you want to online and stop supporting someone whose values don't align with yours.
Leaving your husband was the right thing, however, everything after that is a mess.
You cheated on your husband and left him for someone you barely know. Do yourself and your kids favor, be alone for a bit to heal and come out a better person. You’re just making things worse for yourself and kids.
He might still be going through the grief process AND its possible he could not be as financially stable as you think…. it sounds like you need to try to understand the reasons why.
Abusers love to excuse their abuse with anything. Like their mental health, stress at work, bad childhood, the bad thing you said/did that one time 3 months ago…
It's all BS ecxuses to make you stick around. Do not tolerate his disrespect or him.
In relationships it's somewhat normal to sometimes bump into each other and hurt some feelings BUT in healthy relationships one apologises AND never offends again. What your BF is doing is not being crabby for one week during his exam or while pulling crazy shifts at work, it's general disrespect.
He is not interesting in having sex with you. Take him at his word and do not pressure him or try to manipulate him into it.
The real question is why is he feeling this way? Is this a temporary situation while he works through something? Is he no longer attracted to you? Is there someone else? Is he simply asexual and not interested in sex anymore?
You have a right to ask for the reasons and what this means moving forward. He needs to open up and make sure you know what is going on.
If he just won't talk about it, I'd tell him that he is giving you no options and it's better to go your seperate ways since he just wants to be friends and won't even communicate why.
If he says this is what he wants for the long term, then I'd strongly suggest ending the relationship. He wants a platonic friendship. You want something else. This will never work.
If, however, it is a temporary thing because he is working through something – could be emotional, could be health related, whatever – then be patient and support him while he works it out.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My boyfriend and I have been together for several months now and for the most part things are great. For the record, I know a lot of people are going to respond to the age gap but if you could, please give advice as if you don’t know the ages.
Anyways basically, we were doing doggy and he started putting his thing into… a different area. This is something I haven’t done before. He didn’t ask, just kept trying. Eventually he gave up and then continued PIV.
Afterwards I asked him “hey did you try and put it in my ass” and he said “maybe.” I then say “you have to ask,” (I’m like keeping it light hearted and laughing) and he made a joke saying no he doesn’t.
I mean lol you don't listen to advice why bother posting, your gonna be with this guy until he's tired of you and moves on to some other girl with just as poor self esteem who he thinks is more attractive. Should of left three years ago instead you had a child, maybe your into him sleeping with other woman?
I’d certainly tell her, only because she deserves to know. But she may forgive him and stay with him anyway
They have no idea you feel this way. It sounds like you’ve always been the friend who cheerfully does everything asked, and they’ve gotten very used to this. It’s totally okay to say no to these things! You don’t even need a good excuse. Just say you can’t or are busy.
You can't make an addict get help for their addictions. He will have to come to that conclusion himself.
But what you can do is remove yourself from the situation and seek better for yourself. You say you value a life of sobriety. Well, he clearly doesn't. And you can't make him stop smoking. You've already had this conversation with him loads of times, so I think it's time you stop waiting around for him to change because he won't.
It's time for you to move on and live! the life you want to online and stop supporting someone whose values don't align with yours.
I am trying so nude to forgive him still working on it but I just hate the person this has turned me into. Jealous, controlling and mean.
Leaving your husband was the right thing, however, everything after that is a mess.
You cheated on your husband and left him for someone you barely know. Do yourself and your kids favor, be alone for a bit to heal and come out a better person. You’re just making things worse for yourself and kids.
He might still be going through the grief process AND its possible he could not be as financially stable as you think…. it sounds like you need to try to understand the reasons why.
Abusers love to excuse their abuse with anything. Like their mental health, stress at work, bad childhood, the bad thing you said/did that one time 3 months ago…
It's all BS ecxuses to make you stick around. Do not tolerate his disrespect or him.
In relationships it's somewhat normal to sometimes bump into each other and hurt some feelings BUT in healthy relationships one apologises AND never offends again. What your BF is doing is not being crabby for one week during his exam or while pulling crazy shifts at work, it's general disrespect.
He is not interesting in having sex with you. Take him at his word and do not pressure him or try to manipulate him into it.
The real question is why is he feeling this way? Is this a temporary situation while he works through something? Is he no longer attracted to you? Is there someone else? Is he simply asexual and not interested in sex anymore?
You have a right to ask for the reasons and what this means moving forward. He needs to open up and make sure you know what is going on.
If he just won't talk about it, I'd tell him that he is giving you no options and it's better to go your seperate ways since he just wants to be friends and won't even communicate why.
If he says this is what he wants for the long term, then I'd strongly suggest ending the relationship. He wants a platonic friendship. You want something else. This will never work.
If, however, it is a temporary thing because he is working through something – could be emotional, could be health related, whatever – then be patient and support him while he works it out.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My boyfriend and I have been together for several months now and for the most part things are great. For the record, I know a lot of people are going to respond to the age gap but if you could, please give advice as if you don’t know the ages.
Anyways basically, we were doing doggy and he started putting his thing into… a different area. This is something I haven’t done before. He didn’t ask, just kept trying. Eventually he gave up and then continued PIV.
Afterwards I asked him “hey did you try and put it in my ass” and he said “maybe.” I then say “you have to ask,” (I’m like keeping it light hearted and laughing) and he made a joke saying no he doesn’t.
Idk I feel weird, need advice.
I mean lol you don't listen to advice why bother posting, your gonna be with this guy until he's tired of you and moves on to some other girl with just as poor self esteem who he thinks is more attractive. Should of left three years ago instead you had a child, maybe your into him sleeping with other woman?
Uhmmm you chose to be with her though..?