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It’s heartbreaking and hard but you had no choice. I’ve been there and ended up having go the involuntary route. She may or may not be serious about the divorce rights. She truly isn’t in her right mind, don’t focus on that right now.
Great perspective
Mate, I don’t care. He broke up with and then left. It wasn’t cheating.
Go. Turn the tv off and tell him you all gotta have a talk. He is being very selfish.
He was shocked when I said I took out student loans and said I should just drop out of college and start an live! business????
Out of curiosity, had he have an experience with live business. What make he thinks that will work?
My gut reaction to this is not that she wants to be celibate. She just doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore. Seems to me she wants to break up but doesn’t want to dump you and be the “bad guy.” She wants out of the relationship but doesn’t want to initiate the conflict so she’s cutting you off so you dump her. Then she can play it as you’re the bad guy “only caring about sex” or at the very least not get any crap for breaking your heart since you’d be dumping her, and she doesn’t have a way to articulate why she doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Probably something like she lost attraction, doesn’t know and can’t explain why without sounding like an asshole.
But I’m jaded and cynical.
Hell no. I’m assuming this is the US. (Sadly) we give guns to almost anyone. If he can’t legally buy one that is a huge red flag. Plus you could both go to jail if he is pulled over with that weapon in the car. Just no.
Lol you're right on target. I'm a criminal people pleaser and I'm in therapy working on that among other things! Thanks so much. The past few days have got me thinking I've made a huge mistake. I'm really questioning if I love him or hate him. And about the breaking up, it's funny bc I've tried ending things but it was always that my arguments didn't make sense or I was too emotional. He would make ot impossible! But here's to hoping he's not gonna be like that anymore like he's promised.
You have your own place, so this really isn’t any of your business. Your bf is doing a kind thing, and ALL of the things that bother you don’t bother him. Lay off already. This woman’s life has been utterly destroyed. Consider compassion.
You say you were empathetic to his feelings, but why isn't he empathetic to yours?
Doesn't your hurt also matter in this? Your personhood is being shrunk down to a sex organ and he's using that to punish you. You don't need to be punished for this, a mentally sound person would have appreciated you being honest and that would be that.
You can't undo what you lived through. And even if you could, why would you want to for a man that's punishing you for something that isn't an issue?
This dude is a lot. It seems to be like there might be a mental illness issue on his part. This isn't an okay response to your kindness and honesty.
Not good enough at all. We all have to negotiate compromises in relationships. He’s just ignoring your reasonable request that he be more present when you’re together.
I honestly don’t think he does. And here’s the kicker: I think that my H is the one who got them into going to our church. They’ve played it that cool the whole time. I’m considering emailing the pastor copies of the search history. He knows we’ve been going through it, we’ve seen him multiple times, but my H is that good. Nobody can imagine him doing anything like that. My plan is to just to email it to him and say very little. He knows our issues well enough and enough detail about her (she plays her instruments at church) the significance won’t be lost on him. And for all the painful interactions I’ve had with him not quite believing me, I do in actuality believe he is a truly decent guy and a real Christian who wouldn’t look the other way on an issue that is so clearly opposed to the faith.
Based on your edit it is for the attention.
So confront her.
Tell her that her actions are abusive and manipulative.
Tell her that she gets therapy now, and medical treatment if required.
Tell her that any further episodes like that will be treated the same – you will go into another room and she will need to apologise before the conversation continues.
She's just not that into you.
If the person that you are interested in happen to be interested in you as well, y'all with make the action happen one way or another. Don't go and try and make something out of nothing, don't hound her, don't pester her. You made a move, she said no. If she's interested, she will approach you. Move on my friend.
The dollar value is not important.
It’s the time, energy, thoughts that you take to decide what to do/get for her that matters – especially if she isn’t materially inclined.
I can guarantee that she will prefer an experience that creates wonderful memories with you over you spending $$$ on things she might not like.
Everyone should grow in their marriage. This person literally said that people they profile as “traditional” are not receptive to growth in a relationship. I come from a traditional place, and we don’t intimidate our women. If anything we’re intimidated by them!
Wow these people are total assholes. What does your wife think about this? If I was her I would be even more pissed than you are.
Personally I wouldn't want to every spend time with people like this.
She kinda sounds like a bitch, not gonna lie
So how did he feel about you posting about this a bunch live!?
It sounds like he was trying to neg you to make you insecure and get you to sleep with him (he just isn’t very good at it.)
Whatever his thinking might have been, you don’t need his shitty communication skills or drama. Or creepy age gap. Block and move on.