I’m sorry but I don’t think I understand what your reason is for wanting to break up? Any reason is valid, I’m just saying I don’t quite understand what you are trying to articulate fully.
There is no saving this marriage. What there is is saving your sanity and your children. Divorce her lazy ass, get full custody because she hasn't worked for years and neglects your kids so document all that. Then leave her ass in your rearview. Obviously set up visitation, but the harsh truth is she will probably give up her parental rights, or just ignore them. Either way, prepare your children for mommy to not be around. She's no longer your wife. She's no longer their mother. She's a parasite and you have to remove her from your life.
You are 22 and want to be submissive to your guy while also not being like your mum? You will be in the exact same scenario as your mum and your bf is already making it clear. He is “joking” to see how far he can go. And so far he is getting away with it. He actually told you in as many words he wants you to be a SAHM and that he doesn't know how to clean and you somehow are blind to it? Run.
the 14 year old girl was confronted by him, she likely just lied, I know most girls would in that situation. She obviously feels uncomfortable or the mother does or they both do. the mother is just looking out for her 14 year old daughter.
Some people aren't morning people so their executive functioning isn't at peak. If it's that hard to understand his perspective maybe it's a you problem. Noone else here is having this issue
Advice: per your own words, you are no longer in love with this person and they bring out the worst side of you. He doesn’t act like a partner, he acts like he’s a child and you are his mom, which you resent. That resentment is deeply understandable. You are done. Rarely do people ever recover from that, but they absolutely never do when the other partner refuses to try. So start doing the planning to be done.
I want to note that moving in before a year had even passed is quite fast. That’s okay, you’re young, these things happen, but take note for the future. Whats not okay is him telling you if you leave him he will have nothing to online for. This is outward manipulative behavior. He does not want to put effort into a relationship, but wants to keep said relationship, so he is laying on guilt and fear to maintain this. That is absolute red flag behavior, and often results in increasingly manipulative and controlling behavior the longer you stay.
I know you are nervous about the apartment, work, etc. There are always solutions. A roommate. Breaking lease and finding a place nearby that needs a roommate. Does a coworker need a roommate? Can you crash with a friend until you get this all sorted? Do you have supportive parents that would help you with these logistics? You are never trapped, no matter what he tells you, there is always a way out the door, so take it.
oh my god please don't. seriously why are you even considering this? she's been cheating on you since the start of your relationship. if you have a kid with her, she's trapping you in a situation where now you have to worry about the child if you choose to leave her. please seriously don't. if you're not financially stable enough to fly across the world, you're not stable enough to have a child. DONT DO IT!!!
It is a big deal
Sounds like you have personal problems you need to deal with.
Because my wife is a bit on edge these days and not thinking straight.
I’m sorry but I don’t think I understand what your reason is for wanting to break up? Any reason is valid, I’m just saying I don’t quite understand what you are trying to articulate fully.
I was wondering that at first but he does say he bought toys to finish the job
There is no saving this marriage. What there is is saving your sanity and your children. Divorce her lazy ass, get full custody because she hasn't worked for years and neglects your kids so document all that. Then leave her ass in your rearview. Obviously set up visitation, but the harsh truth is she will probably give up her parental rights, or just ignore them. Either way, prepare your children for mommy to not be around. She's no longer your wife. She's no longer their mother. She's a parasite and you have to remove her from your life.
You are 22 and want to be submissive to your guy while also not being like your mum? You will be in the exact same scenario as your mum and your bf is already making it clear. He is “joking” to see how far he can go. And so far he is getting away with it. He actually told you in as many words he wants you to be a SAHM and that he doesn't know how to clean and you somehow are blind to it? Run.
It's time to talk to your bio mom about renegotiating custody. You're old enough that a judge would consider what you want.
If you have a problem with her living rent free you should discuss it, like she discussed your friend shitty joke.
the 14 year old girl was confronted by him, she likely just lied, I know most girls would in that situation. She obviously feels uncomfortable or the mother does or they both do. the mother is just looking out for her 14 year old daughter.
UpdateMe!
Ouch next time say something like I am starting to fall for you or something less committed to start.
But you dropped the L word so just own it.
Some people aren't morning people so their executive functioning isn't at peak. If it's that hard to understand his perspective maybe it's a you problem. Noone else here is having this issue
The amount of downvotes tell you exactly who's the one overreacting here.
It was either a booty call or he just felt lonely/was missing you.
This fucking troll again.
Not your problem.
I'm scared of this too.. It's just that, this isn't him at all.. His character changed..
Advice: per your own words, you are no longer in love with this person and they bring out the worst side of you. He doesn’t act like a partner, he acts like he’s a child and you are his mom, which you resent. That resentment is deeply understandable. You are done. Rarely do people ever recover from that, but they absolutely never do when the other partner refuses to try. So start doing the planning to be done.
I want to note that moving in before a year had even passed is quite fast. That’s okay, you’re young, these things happen, but take note for the future. Whats not okay is him telling you if you leave him he will have nothing to online for. This is outward manipulative behavior. He does not want to put effort into a relationship, but wants to keep said relationship, so he is laying on guilt and fear to maintain this. That is absolute red flag behavior, and often results in increasingly manipulative and controlling behavior the longer you stay.
I know you are nervous about the apartment, work, etc. There are always solutions. A roommate. Breaking lease and finding a place nearby that needs a roommate. Does a coworker need a roommate? Can you crash with a friend until you get this all sorted? Do you have supportive parents that would help you with these logistics? You are never trapped, no matter what he tells you, there is always a way out the door, so take it.
You can do this.
If she is, that kind of changes things. ?
Have you ever heard of public transportation or taxis or Uber
oh my god please don't. seriously why are you even considering this? she's been cheating on you since the start of your relationship. if you have a kid with her, she's trapping you in a situation where now you have to worry about the child if you choose to leave her. please seriously don't. if you're not financially stable enough to fly across the world, you're not stable enough to have a child. DONT DO IT!!!