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Thinking like that makes it seem like you’re heading down the same path of an abusive relationship although it may not be physical it’s emotional and verbal. Don’t go down that path please. Turn around and look at yourself in the mirror. You are better than this. You deserve better than him. He’s not good enough for you. If he can’t respect you enough to not make rape jokes or call you insensitive or keep his mouse in the house, than he’s just using you. I understand having someone seems better than having no one but you need to surround yourself with people who care about you, your past, your current feelings towards certain things,etc. not scumbags like him
You can love your cousin but that doesn't mean you have to live! your life according to his whims. Yes it sucks that his relationship with your BF's cousin ended, but that doesn't mean he gets to punish your boyfriend or you for it by trying to stir things up between you.
Your boyfriend is not responsible for his cousin any more than you are for yours. Throw down a firm boundary – you are not going to discuss your relationship with him and if he tries to shit talk your boyfriend to you then you will be removing yourself from the conversation until he can learn to respect your wishes and choices.
Yep. Admittedly, I rejected both brain surgery and EKT. Not too fond of the idea of electroshocks, so that was that.
When it comes to confrontation therapy, however… my experiences were horrid, but that was mainly because they were never done in hospital (the people there had no time for that) and instead, only the therapists I saw weekly told me to try it, at home, alone. Of course that went shittily, including a suicide attempt, and yeah… it was bad. I would be willing to try that again in a setting where I have a professional by my side for however many hours/days it takes to get through the panic, but I don't think that's available. Basically, I baffled the doctors because normally, the panic/fear is supposed to go away after a few hours if I don't do a compulsion and well, mine lasted for almost 48 hours until my suicide attempt and apparently, that's very much not normal.
The Amtsarzt I have to see every two years – who is a no-nonsense kind of woman who always gives me crap about being locked in, for good reason – always says that my suffering isn't bad enough because I am locked in to consider all those scary things like brain surgery and yeah, she's right. But she's also a biiiiig fan of the brain surgery thing.
When it comes to the brain surgery, there are different techniques. I think Deep Brain Stimulation is indeed what the one done in Cologne is called. But there's also crap like Bilateral Cingulotomy, which is apparently burning parts of your brain/making cuts – that's also supposed to help with OCD, depression and chronic pain. But honestly, that's even worse than Deep Brain Stimulation.
I agree I need a new doctor and a new therapist. Especially a new therapist, but I can't do that anymore. Basically, my current one and me used up all possible sessions that the insurance is willing to pay. I have a few left, but then there “has” to be a break for two years before my insurance is willing to pay for therapy again. Me finding a therapist unfortunately fell right into the pandemic and there was no open spot anywhere with the real good ones because everyone suffered from lockdown – something I obviously shrugged off since I'm in lockdown since ten years, hah. But yeah, I had to take what I could get and my therapist is nice, but not very helpful. I go there, it's really nice to have someone to bitch about my father and my shitty life, but that's about it: Nice to have a talk. She's listed as behavior therapist and trauma therapist and that's why I picked her, but she's specialized in EMDR and, as it turns out, that's not for me. Wanted to work on my traumas with that, but that technique just… doesn't work. It's not bad or anything, I just can't do it. It's about remembering and reliving the situation of your trauma while at the same time either watching a moving light or having two devices in your two hands which alternate vibrating and both the light and the vibrations completely prevent me from thinking about something. I'm getting waaaay too distracted by those things.
Thank you so much for spending so much time with me today! I deeply appreciate it! And yeah, I am also way behind with my dumb compulsions now because I kept checking here too much, haha. Let's hope I won't get bitten by the plague tomorrow. 🙂 Sleep well!
I need two more vacations days until I can get my vasectomy. She knew about this more months hell years and was supportive and said she’d take care of me when I get it.
You were spot on. He wanted you to be jealous, you weren’t and called him on it… he threw a fit. He will undoubtedly reach out again; run. block. avoid.
Some people develop the belief that if their partner isn’t irrationally jealous, they don’t care about them. They’ll set up scenarios subtly and when that doesn’t work, flat out try to make you jealous. It’s toxic and only goes downhill from there. He’s 31, a grown ass man and still acting like that. Just be grateful he let that red flag fly early on.
Because it is your private issues with your wife. This is something between you and her. She doesn't want her business all over town with people knowing what's going on behind closed doors.
Think of it this way, if you couldn't have sex with her because your penis didn't work, would you want her sharing it with anyone who would listen?
Maybe that way you can understand
If not you are being purposely obtuse.
You are the safety net for her.
Her ex is the passion.
Drop her like a naked rock. You will face this disrespect from her for as long as you stay.
He has mental issues due to do a bad childhood and there was some childhood abuse. Probably has some PTSD to be honest. but I do not know if that is considered a disability or not. My last relationship became a verbally abusive one and it just seems like it's starting to happen all over again. His last freak out happened when he got fired. Scared the shit out of my pets because he kicked one of our bedroom doors off the hinges. ( i was at work but I know how scary he can get) he has never once hit or touched me inappropriately. but I feel like we aren't growing and moving forward. Its going ass backwards.
ok, my bad. Still seemed strange.
Anyway, it just looks like she is playing mind games with you.
You'll never be alone… he'll be with you. in your heart for the rest of your life. Then? in the next place? Whatever that is? he's waiting.
Stay strong.
27 and 19
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