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Hello /u/jennyj985,
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I don’t know an 11 month old baby who can use two-word sentences. I feel like that’s just a lie
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Two possibilities:
One is that he's just absent-minded. The other is that he is stingy, like you say.
Either way, you have to confront him about it, even if it feels uncomfortable. Tell him what is bothering you and see how he responds. If it's just absent-mindedness he should apologize and give you whatever money you are owed. On the other hand, if he gets defensive or makes excuses, then you have your answer.
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Homemade food is normally healthier than what you could order for takeout, and learning how difficult cooking is could teach you to appreciate what she cooks a lot more.
Also… If anything bad were to happen to your income, God forbid… And you wouldn't be able to afford takeout whenever… It may be appreciated by your wife if she wasn't cooking every meal and if you could pick up the slack, too.
And! You two could bond over it. Or surprise her with treats like breakfast in bed.
You are both still young. You are talking about him during his puberty.. not exactly a period in which people already have discovered themselves and know themselves very well. Feelings change. Maybe he just isn’t interested in other men anymore. Or maybe he just isn’t giving it any attention because he is with you.
If you really want to know, there is only one person that holds the answers. And it’s not one of us, random redditors.
Good job taking the appropriate action. I hope she leaves you alone.
You’re fucking gross. In the comments saying the only reason someone would want to talk to your gf is bc she’s “not 300 lbs”, implying women are lower IQ because they are disagreeing with you, and literally being a little baby because your girlfriend has other friends. Break up with her so she can do better, asshole, and go watch your red pill bullshit so you can avoid being “disrespected” again by completely normal human behavior.
I saw this reel where a woman in her late 20s with dwarfism went to an ER for something unrelated and the young doctor comes in like he's about to give her really bad news and he asks her if she's aware that she has xyz dwarfism. She bust out laughing because it was like how would she have gotten to this point in life with out this obvious information.
I think it's the same with OP's wife.
However, it's definitely manipulative to try to turn the situation around and make OP console her. I would actually examine where that is a trend.
Look, OP, you can't be held hostage in a relationship where he cheated and you left. It was his decision to cheat and it was his decision to atempt suicide. If he wants his life to end then… he needs therapist. Please don't be manipulated and remain firm with the break up. Listen to your mom in this, other adviced you have received are useless.
I know it sounds harsh, but his mental health is not your responsibility. He is with his family and in the care of doctors. Trust them to handle the situation. His family is wrong for trying to put the blame on you. And your dad is wrong for even suggesting that you have any responsibility to your ex. Your mental health matters too! So tell his mother that you care about her son, but that the two of you are simply not right for eachother, and that his medical situation does not change that fact, and that you hope he is getting the help he needs because you really do wish him the best in life, and then if she keeps it up, you block her too. You don't need to subject yourself to their manipulation tactics.
When it turns you off so you stop or keep going? You need to set a clear boundary with no wiggle room for brushing off. When she starts it up then you stop having sex.
He is still the father. Do you know how nude it is to have someone lose their parental rights? Some of these cases end in murder.
Nope.
As someone who lost her older sister to an alcohol overdose (though she also was a drug addict): You can't. You simply can't. The only thing you can do is stop any enabling, as hitting rock bottom is the only thing that sometimes – not always – makes addicts seek help.
A serious alcoholism/drug addiction means that in-patient withdrawl in a hospital is needed. And that can be hell. And then, it will take utter commitment to not relapse, even when the physical withdrawl symptoms are gone, because alcohol is everywhere and if you're an addict once, you're, in a way, an addict for life. It means not touching any alcohol again. Not “just a bit”, not “just in social settings”. No alcohol. That's something that's only doable when you have the absolute will to see it through and resist all temptation.
Your mother doesn't have that. And right now, she also doesn't feel like she has to get help because she's doing fine. There are no consequences dire enough to make her want to change right now. Maybe she would if you would cut her off. Maybe she would if she ends up broke and homeless. Maybe she doesn't have the willpower to ever change.
But the one thing I do know is that you can't change her. You can only change yourself and your reactions. So care for yourself and change things in a way that's less frustrating for you. Cutting her off right now is also a good step, as any enabling (aka support) just makes it easier for her to just keep going. And yes, it means that her not having any support might be the best thing that can happen to her. The wakeup call needs to be loud and permanent to have any chance of working.
Sorry I have no better news. But that's how it is.
As related in your story, your boyfriend (or soon to be ex) has some major issues to work through before being in a serious relationship. His behavior was appalling.
So he barely crawls over a bar that is in hell…okay?
Leave him.
Protect your kids. Staying with someone who doesn't even bother to train his dog enough to make sure it isn't biting your children is absurd.
Not necessarily. He just seemed to be interested in where she is from. It's not really going the extra mile. If u have a friend u enjoy being around, then it makes sense to wanna be around them in a social gathering.
Your boyfriend is creepy for developing this faux friendship with this young lady. Even without proof of cheating, the lying should be enough for you to end it. He wouldn’t have lied if it was innocent. It sounds like he is using you as his cover for his church folk but his friendship with her is not 100% platonic.
I put it like that because I’m encouraging you to dump her ass
Did the police have any questions about him being a statutory rapist? You've been together since you're 16 and he was 22…
Maybe talk to her about it.
If your money is joint then you need to take each others wants to spend it serious and should be able to have a adult discussion. Like you need to be able to articulate why you feel you cant afford said thing.
The yelling at you shit is unacceptable and no woman would allow their man to do this to them and you shouldnt either.
Ive been married 18 years and the money provider but she is a sahm and the money is ours not mine. If i buy anything over like 100 bucks i ask her whats she thinks and we discuss it.
I wouldnt use other arguments to lament leverage in new arguments though. I wont cosign you sex comment in a conversation about carpets but i understand the comment roots out of frustration.
Ive read alot of reddit and it sounds like she is the if im not in the mood go jerk off kind of wife. Mix that with the clear lack of human resprect to not yell at you in front of the kids…
My advise stands as delete this post and leave her. Yes it will suck for a few years but then it will get better. Every day is precious. Focus on your kids and a new love life.
This what I was wondering. Nothing makes this ok but it would be even more fucked up if these were personal pictures of unsustainable women rather than something they found on the internet somewhere.
I gotta agree here, and am surprised by the top comments. He will never eat “Asian” food with her? I get why she's upset. Not only is good very important to most people in a cultural way, but does she really want to consign herself to a life where she never gets to cook and eat meals she loves with her partner in their home, or visit places she loves with him?
I can't imagine not sucking it up sometimes for the person I love, if it's truly important to them, or finding something on the menu I can enjoy. And the “I can't eat there” comment? Nah…I don't know that I'd be any less frustrated than she is.
Let his dumb ass get roasted, he made a terrible decision and doubled down on it. Sucks to be him. XD
How did you discover the disappearing messages and feminine product? I can’t tell if he’s shady or you’re snooping tbh
How about locks on the doors?
But wouldn't that be reasonable considering he paid twice as much towards the down payment than you did? You paying more bills would just even out your individual contributions, no?
So basically you have an abusive husband now and an abusive ex then.
No, you're not being crazy, you're being FAR too blasé if anything. None of his behavior that you described here is OK.
I lived with an abusive ex for years, how much more are you going to tolerate? And is this something you want your child to be exposed to? You can't keep tolerating this behavior from him, it's NOT OK and you have not just yourself to think about but that little baby as well.
Break up with your girlfriend if you can’t even handle a simple crush. You’re going to have rough time in relationships if you keep chasing after the next pretty face. Also, you don’t love her as much as you think if your contemplating when to break up because another girl is hotter. You don’t sound compatible at all if you think her whole religion and culture is a “flaw” as you put it. And you are emotionally cheating if you’re choosing get a better feeling and attachment from another woman. Let he go to someone who’ll appreciate her. Return the gift or give it to the new girl or the next and the next..
Nothing will change.
I feel so bad for your child.
Do not trust this person. Do not move in with this person. The absolute last thing that you should do is involve yourself financially or in any other way with a deceitful person.
She told him and he just doesn't want to believe her. The reality is if you get into a relationship with someone with children sometimes you won't come first.
You're not compatible. You want and need different things. You were kids when you first started dating and now as young adults it isn't working. You should date other people as it seems neither of you are happy or at least he should. It sounds like you have enough on your plate already OP. Break up, do your own things and when things aren't crazy for you anymore decide if it's worthwhile to try getting back together.
Why can't he do the things he likes with someone, just because that someone happens to be a girl?
I wasn’t born in 1958 Sparky…..it’s just a rando user name that Reddit gave me.
Oh and btw, I don’t drink liquor….I’ll have a beer or two occasionally. It’s just like your generation to be so presumptuous and act like they have all the information in front of them, no offense.
You do know that….. You're a hypocrite