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Andy, 19 y.o.
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Was the day away always been a part of your relationship or only since you got pregnant? I’m kinda thinking he might be one of those double life guys. Especially with all the gaslighting surrounding your dislike to it.
He’s cheating. His blatant overreaction and insistence that he “needed to prove himself” even though you literally said you didn’t care proves it. It’s sort of like how often when people are lying, they overexplain themselves and include too many details in what they’re saying because they think the more detailed they are, the more likely people will believe them. This was a pathetic attempt to cover his ass.
Does he have a lease/apartment? I'm sure he'd save money living with you… ?
I assume you're talking about the roast beef thing. I used that exactly because it is sexist and disgusting to shame a woman for her natural body and speak like that, the way this man's wife did to him. If this is what you've found to be sexist, I think you have missed the point.
You have to tell her. It already affects her in a negative way and hurts her, you have to rip the bandaid off, even if it will be difficult to find the right words. Just be truthful and expect a strong reaction, you know her best. If a sexless marriage would be okay for her should have been communicated before you two got married tbh…it would be different if she was okay now how it is, but she isn't and you know how to change that, even if it hurts in the beginning
You just talk to them all like the adults you are – in no uncertain terms he needs to amend his behavior or you simply won’t see him again.
You told him no right?
Very well said. Thank you for your advice.
wrong sub
yea this happens a lot when you get married as a kid
She just told you that she needs time to figure things out. Her decision might not have a thing to do with you. Leave her be.
If it’s negotiable or not isn’t a problem. It’s requiring it as an act of love that makes it into a guilt trip.
That said, reading your other comments, it sounds more like you’re just super afraid of being hurt, and so you’re coming up with things that will help you feel safe. But there are so many healthier more inclusive ways to do that, then guilt trip someone.
Yawn.
…Why would the question be about your life in general when the conversation is about her specific reactions in a relationship context? I'm lost.
Bro, Talk to a doctor. If she doesnt want physical contact or sex ask her WHY that is in a respectful manner, as low libido or different processing of stimulation could be a result of the surgery, and could even be a warning sign of something else. You didnt give any info on the surgery so I cant help ya much there. :/ this is a medical issue as well as relationship issue, so treat it as such and talk to a doctor
That's also abusive.
I'm honestly not sure what his motives is it doesn't seem like has any sorta plans or life or us or himself He simiply just wants 0 responsibility and to sleep and play
You did offer help but you cant force help on someone. Whether it's his own pride or whatever, he doesn't want to take the help that's being offered. I repeat, his life is not your responsibility and like you said, you don't want to be his mom. You're taking on blame that is not yours in the slightest. His failures are not your own.
I gagged too my first time. It took a while to get used to the hair. Try shaving it for him, and then wash and rinse well RIGGT BEFORE you try again. Also, and you probably already know this, don't use douche, it's worthless.
So… somebody in your life got some good advice from Reddit, huh?
It’s called “Criticism” look it up. If she’s telling me what to wear and what not to wear, that’s pretty cool, but if it’s reversed, I’m the bad person? Plus, the photo she posted clearly was showing too much cleavage.
It’s not be being insecure or controlling, it’s about respecting the relationship.
She even stated it herself.
no
You never say in your post how long you've been dating.
So we can't know if she told you in a timely manner or not.
Be kind in your discussion. Tell him that you like his new partner, and you love how he is with her, and maybe in a few years you will feel differently, but right now you consider her and her children as good people, but not your family.
Family usually takes time and chemistry, unless you are born into it. I have a sister (who is my son's brother-has been since he was 2), she and I immediately hit it off, and she's the person I took with me when my ex and broke up. My ex and I were only together a few years, but his family is my family, especially one of his sisters.
Beyond that you need to start telling him the truth and stop protecting his feelings. It’s not okay that’s he’s only focused on him and it’s not your IUD effecting your sex drive, it’s him and it’s time to tell him that or he’ll likely be fine keeping the status quo.
I know it’s hot to be open and honest about this stuff but I used to do the same thing and when I finally opened up and told the truth things got so much better for both my husband and myself
You need to handle what you have going on at home first. Be open and honest about your feelings with your gf/wife and end things. Once the dust settles, you should get out and date because dating coworkers is never a good idea. Especially with you being her superior.
hello i saw a comment but the subreddit deltes them.. can u send it in chat so i can read it?
Sounds like you ran into maybe the right woman and then ran away from her.
You two simply need to figure it out as adults and agree on set rules and stick to it.
I do not see any other way this would work unless you two sit with the goal to come into an agreement both of you will respect.
Also, both of you should worry less about what other people might think.
Well it did and I need help I'm so pissed idk what to do I'm Mexican and just the things that go through her head is what made me so mad
Exactly what I mean when I say a Child is NOT the same size as a full grown affair partner (aka a adult in bed) the kid would have looked like single pillow If even that.
This woman isn't insecure she's DANGEROUS and I sincerely hope that op realizes that an gets the kid to safety
What the hell kinda house are you trying to buy?! Damn! 300k for a down-payment ya'll can't afford is ridiculous – if you have 150k, use it to purchase a home you can actually afford. Especially if you're worried about borrowing money. I, personally, would not want to knowingly buy property or start a family with someone who is financially irresponsible and essentially lied to me for 5 years.
Get out of there. There is no reason to try to force some family situation with someone who cheated, called names and degraded you.
Must be Pete Davidson
Just walk away not worth the hassle.
I don’t know why people are downvoting you, you’re actually totally correct. Women with larger BMIs tend to have more “cushioning” around those areas. The muscles can become a bit more compressed from surrounding fat.
No. As horrible as this sounds I think the only reason she is with you is because she couldnt be with him for whatever reason. Its pretty but a lot of females play along with whatever relationship presents their way. You want to be with someone to who dreams about you and cant stop thinking about the sex you two have
Hey! Sure. Last night we were out listening to a band with his cousin. He is afraid of dancing and I love to dance. His cousin invited me up to dance and we were just enjoying some of the music – for context it was not a club, most everyone there was 60+ and the band was playing Spanish rock.
A man who had been dancing earlier with his cousin came up and grabbed our hands, spun us both, and then we let go and danced in another part of the dance floor. He said he did not like me doing that and it was disrespectful. I apologized and asked if he could forgive me. He said yes.
When we got home he told me to shower because he didn’t want to hold me after another man had touched me, even though the man had only touched my hands.
We fought about it again this morning.