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Take it one day at a time and keep repeating to yourself that you deserve better. You deserve to be someone’s first choice. You deserve kindness and love and respect. He’s shown you he isn’t willing to be a good and healthy partner for you, so believe his actions and not his words. If he does come back, remind yourself and him of all that’s lacking in your relationship and interactions. This is not a good fit for either of you.
Try to ask yourself if you can see yourself continuing this toxic cycle for the next few years. Is this what you want your future to look like? Would you want to marry a person like that and have kids grow up in that environment? (If marriage and kids are things you want, this is an important question)
Don’t waste your time and love on someone who doesn’t appreciate it. There’s much better men out there and in the grand scheme of things this will only be a blip in your life. Don’t let him become more than a blip.
If he texts you and you feel tempted to get back together, feel free to dm me here first. Maybe it’ll help to get the first impulsive response out of your system and I’m happy to provide some advice.
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He's not staying at his mom's and you need to be more proactive and get to the bottom of this. Talk to his mom.
Buy your own condoms, especially for this first time semi-planned-for event. Don't rely on your partner to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy and/or STI's. Yes, they should buy them, too. It's on both of you, but it's more on you to make sure they are available as that means you're covered no matter what. Long term, fine, share costs etc.
Don't have unprotected sex just because you failed to plan for it.
Another example of how these types of relationships are just bullshit from the start
Do you know what they call people who use the pull out method? Parents.
You don’t.
Saw on a reply of yours he's into gaming. If he's on a console you could buy a gift card for their live stores. If he's a PC gamer, you could get him a gift card for steam.
Even if it's just a $10-20 card that can help get additional content for his favorite game or go towards a new game!
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Ffs. Not every negative emotion is a “red flag.”
Extract the leech so you can breathe again.
You’re showing love by wanting to plan this for him and I think that’s lovely – but he’s been clear it’s not what he wants.
In your shoes, I would plan a few elements with my own friends (such as a little potluck between us), and leave the rest for him and his friends.
The important thing is to be clear – if anyone asks “why didn’t you -“ the answer is immediately “I wanted to, but (boyfriend) said no”. Say it cheerfully, but say it clearly. You don’t need to take the fall if there’s no food or toilet paper, it’s not your responsibility if the party is disorganized and becomes stressful for him.
Resist the urge to say “I told you so,” but also resist the urge to step in and fix things at the last minute. Go and enjoy yourself as a guest and not a host – your bf has let you off the hook, so to speak, so respect that boundary and let the weekend unfold as it will. You might just find that by the end of it he says “oh man, I wish we’d done it your way”.