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I don't know. Does anyone else know??
Nothing wrong with blindsiding. Sometimes it's the best way to avoid drama.
What you're saying is valid but I wouldn't think about this if her parents didn't accept “me”. The problem is they are not okay with love marriages. And I was in college back then. They told me it's just an infatuation and it'll pass over time. I feel like they weren't sure about me and will I be like able to make a living for myself. I mean they don't want her daughter to be with someone who is not economically stable right? Also they were paying her tuition fee which is way too costly and they didn't want her to lose focus on her studies. Now that she's gonna graduate, I thought now It will be more convincing. If she's in my position I know fs she will try to message me and convince me. I don't know why I still hold back
You people downvoting me must have missed my point.
OP's wife is 100% at fault for this. I was merely cautioning that the deficit is easier to spot before marriage if you know what to look for. I made this mistake twice, then nearly twice more.
If a person needs or expects compliments (external validation) and you aren't generous with compliments, then you should let that person go. Even then, we men should put more into complimenting what a woman DOES, not what she IS. And I do not mean valuing her utility, I mean what she does for HERSELF.
Don't move in with him.
I'm directly commenting on the fact that the comment above me said that trans people are in danger disclosing that info to other people. I think they'd be in a greater danger exposing themselves and expecting sex from someone that isnt into their genitals
Still are.
More therapy if you have the money. I have two therapist. Especially if one is for a specific event/trauma
Either way, I lose.
I don't really know how to respond to you, honestly. I don't think she's fine with it, because she told him that he crossed a line and THEN he agreed, but at the same time, she must know to some degree that this guy is shady since she's been searching live! about him treating her like his GF etc… So there is an element of understanding on her part – she obviously knows that this guy is trying something or sees her as more than a friend, but I feel like she may be helping enable it. Not necessarily happy with it or enjoying it, but not doing anything to stop it either.
It literally did not. Your just perverted af
It was a nice idea but you should have waited until after her rough patch at work. It almost seems like you didnt listen to her when she said she was having a rough time at work and if you did listen you just didnt care
I work somewhere just as you described – people being friends doesnt mean the job is not stressful.
If my bf waited until after my big project sale in three weeks to celebrate and then did this as a surprise i would cry of happiness lol. If he did it this week I would probably have a mental breakdown with my schedule being so tight. And frankly, he KNOWS this. He knows ive been stressed at work and offers to get me dinner/snacks or whatever. I would feel really ignored and upset if he tried to pull me out of work during a stressful time because he was bored and felt like going to the spa
they have a kid together he cant
Is it out of the ordinary or is it a reflection of your changed circumstances?
I don't know. My friends and family never pushed me around because of my depression. They still have me invites, still sent me messages saying they loved me, they'd ask for honesty when answering how I've been.
I'd be devastated if my family acted anything like OP's is. Even if they're uncomfortable, they could still make an effort to show they love/care.
Maybe opening up will help, but it's just as likely that it won't. If she feels comfortable opening up to her mom, then it's worth a shot, or talking to whomever may be a good mediator between them.
And what was he doing to help maintain the house? If you were pregnant and injured, why wasn't he helping? You shouldn't even need to have valid reasons for wanting him to help, you're his wife not his housekeeper.
He already has begun emotionally abusing and manipulating you…him claiming he’s going to end his life if you leave is manipulative
You'd be responsible for paying child support, not to support her lifestyle. If she can manage caring for the child without working, then that's fine. If not, the financial reality will force her to work. Recordings of the past opinion won't matter when you are in court. She may change her opinion on working, on education, etc. This will not influence how much you pay for child support but may influence who gets the primary custody.
You are the problem. People like you are what's wrong in the world. Animals are not disposable objects.
He’s a kid, he’s 20 years old. You’re over 30. What did you expect from a young man this age? A serious courtship and relationship? He’s immature and short term needs driven. He worked on you for a week, had sex, got what he wanted and skated. Move on. It’s for the best.
So my husband and I have an anxious avoidant type relationship and it does make things rough. I try to talk to him and use “I feel”-type statements but he does still get avoidant and we end up arguing, although those arguments are usually a bit better now because we try to communicate more.
You didn’t communicate. I agree with people saying you kinda did this to yourself. You should be able to have that friend, or any friends. I recommend you do what I’ve been telling my husband to do for about three years and GO TO THERAPY. It will help your relationship with you and your partner. You shot yourself in the foot here.
I’m sorry for what you’re having to go through.
But be clear about who this man has spent a few years telling you he is.
He has been in contact with her for years, even foisting himself on her when she had no real interest. He has flown out to see her, flown her in to see him, and romantic holiday adjacent no less.
He has told you point blank that he has no interest in cutting off contact with her. Even when you told him it was a hot boundary.
Now that he’s had his fun, what??, he gets to come back and try again? Did the other girl dump him? Is that why he’s begging and pleading?
He’s a liar. He’s a cheater. And he’s unrepentant. And he’s willing to foist himself on women to get what he wants. If he’s blocked her, I’ll eat my hat. She may have blocked him when it got too real and he was sudden available.
Ultimately, you don’t trust him. Why stay in a relationship where you’re questioning everything all the time? Who’s he going to fuck on this trip? He took his phone to the bathroom, who’s he texting? And eventually you’ll be exhausted from all the watching and verifying, and he will feel resentful for not being trusted, and everything will finish falling apart then.
When someone repeatedly tells you who they really are, believe them.
This is fucking weird. Requesting a parent have no agency in one of the most formative processes in a child's life is not a healthy request. My opinion is your answer should be no without any exceptions. If that's a deal breaker for him, he's probably a piece of shit anyways, and you'll be dodging a bullet even though it'll feel devastating at the time. Sorry this happened. Good luck OP.
oh shit this makes me think they already fuckin
The same could be said about virtually any decision you make that directly or indirectly affects your partner. Do you understand that you're allowed to make decisions for yourself with respect to your feelings? Is there some reason why your partner always getting his or her way isn't disrespectful of you? Because I don't understand why their feelings always govern the outcome and anything else is “disrespectful.” That attitude seems really freaking disrespectful.
I’m guessing she hasn’t been this paranoid the whole 4 years. Try to find out what happened that triggered this for her. That’s where I’d start. It could be even something like her best friend was recently cheated on by a long term boyfriend and it triggered this for herself.
Omg mine has made comments like this several times as well. I’m not entirely sure what he expected the result to be but what really happens is that I NEVER forget and I can NEVER feel as close/secure as before.
This is the kind of man that will cheat on you with a 19 year old when he’s 40 and claim it’s not his fault bEcAuSe bIoLoGy. He’s telling you he thinks that women over 30 are worthless. Get out while you can because any man that spouts the kind of BS he’s telling you isn’t a man worth keeping around.
No doubt. My ex used to go through my phone and she's now my ex. I've never gone through anyone's phone, ever. I'll leave before I feel the need to do that.
This has nothing to do with Eric.
You do not trust your girlfriend. Not even with you by her side – you still feel as if she could slip and end up kissing this guy even though they both know it was never in the cards for them. You think that her past somehow makes her able to cheat on you today.
The standard reply to this is to claim that you do trust her but it makes you feel uneasy because she once made out with this guy – but – you went out of your way to say she did once end a relationship over him, meaning this lack of control on her part still scares you.
You do not trust her and that is why you have no idea what to say to her – because – every sentence you could say is just another way of saying “I think you are capable of cheating on me with him – even with me there.”
You are so wrapped up in her past and who she used to be, you can't see who she really is now.
Or maybe you do see who she really is now and you really shouldn't trust her – and I'm still wondering why you are dating her.
You do you man, but punishing her for the life she lived before you seems like a bad idea.
If he's not on your account tell him he's got about 5 mins to send you your money back before you file charges against him.
Then close that account out, open one he doesn't have access to, and then leave him.
He sounds nuts and is a literal thief.