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I mean, if they had complex thoughts I'd imagine they'd rather not die for no reason (except pictures I guess)
I have, a bit. I mean he knows I’d be poly if I could, and he knows I hope I’ll end up married to a woman, but I don’t know if he knows how involved he is in my future plans… like, he’s joked about how I’m not allowed to leave, we both have, and he’s said we are gonna be together for years and stuff, and we’ve both joked about getting married once we’re older but…not ever had a serious conversation about what this looks like long term or what we both want out of it
I asked her why she pretended n she just said that she did what she thought I wanted
Oh friend. Listen, I get it. I’m a full blown extrovert that has always been attracted to introverts, and at times their need for space feels personal to me, when it isn’t at all. I have worked through this a lot in therapy to calm my brain that sets off the alarm when they need that decompression time that I just don’t relate to. Their need for this is absolutely not about me.
So here’s the thing. What he said was fine. It hurting your feelings because you take this personally is also fine! The issue is what you did with it after. Silent treatment is not fine. It’s really awful to go through on the other side, and if you’re honest with yourself, it’s a form of punishment. It’s one thing to take a breath to stay calm, but to hold the other person hostage in anger and silence without any type of communication is unkind and uncalled for. Frankly, it can be manipulative. Adults don’t need punishments, they need communication.
You have to communicate. If something hurts your feelings, you have to say “hey, this hurt my feelings because…” and have that conversation. I know for many with issues around confrontation this feels scary, but I promise that conversation feels SOOO much better than what was done here.
There is a book called “Attached” that I would highly recommend to both of you. Discovering your attachment styles will help you understand yourself and why you react the way you do to certain things, while discovering who your partner is and why they react they way they do. It’s a really good one to go through together and discuss. You will learn a lot. It has helped me and my partner (another introvert with high anxiety) understand each other tremendously better than before.
I don’t think you’re done here if you give a sincere apology and talk about how you plan to handle things in the future (not the way you handled this), then also finally talk about how you felt and how he felt. I would then ask him to go through this book with you to strengthen your understanding of each other so this can be avoided in the future.
Paragraph breaks are your friend, paragraph breaks can’t hurt you.
1000% IQ, harnessing every wrinkle in your brain play,
See through the additional time together and print out every word of the common law statute, at the end of your rooming, slap it on the table in front of her
She tells you about people flirting with her hoping you will get jealous, as that’s how she would react (we now know). Some people think jealousy is a way of showing love. Those people are toxic people. Have the conversation about trust, and if she doesn’t agree to cool it, run, this will not end, and she will likely up the things she does to make you jealous after this.
How did you reach the conclusion that he deserves the ownership of your home when you’re paying majority of the bills?
He's been lying to you this entire time. “Men and women can't be friends but I am obviously the exception to my own world view because I am the best”. This is why we don't date men with a gigantic age gap. They can't date women their own age for a reason and they bank on the “older wiser” bullshit. You're almost 30 c'mon please don't act like you don't know what's going on.
It's a trap.
So I don’t “allow” him to be treated the way they treat him and I have tried in the past to tell them to stop, and they turned it back around on me and also him at times (not to his face). I complain to my dad when my mum says something out of line to him and he will tell her off for it and goes quiet, but then turns it around and makes it my fault somehow.
I’ve mentioned in my post we’re currently looking for a house that’s affordable. We’re in the process of making an application for one house, and viewing another next week so hopefully we’ll be out of our parents’ homes soon!
Your partner said it was accidental and didn’t intend to upset you or hurt you. He cared about you immediately and took steps to prevent it from happening again.
I’m assuming you don’t let him finish in you without consent, you gotta understand sometimes things misfire. If you’re agreeing to engage in unprotected sex then you need to understand the risk that comes with that. The pullout method isn’t 100% fool proof if you’re not trying to get pregnant. You’re being a bit unfair because from what you described you both agreed to the pull-out method and an accident occurred.
Lol you can eat anything and do anything you want to. I always crave salty snacks before it starts and then during some caffeine and chocolate help with the cramps
“It’s not like I don’t like giving blow jobs. They’re arousing, but they don’t make me come. I have a clitoris and you need to find it.”
Wtf that’s exactly what is supposed to happen. What does he think sex is supposed to feel like?
On that note, Fisher Investments is a top tier fiduciary investment firm. They look out for their clients best interests. Might be worthwhile for you to take a look at them.
If he said he'll change inly after you broke up with him, he's lying. He'll change for just as long as it takes for you to let your guard down, then go right back to his old ways. Don't buy the BA he's trying to sell you.
I mean, you just diagnosed your wife with a personality disorder but are gleefully anticipating blindsiding her with divorce despite having a child involved. Maybe take a look in the mirror..
She won’t give you a proper response. It’s never their fault. It never is what it seems. Listen my guy, you need to get out of that life with your cheating ass wife. This is typical behavior of a shitty spouse. Befriends someone at work. Out til 1am with kids at home? With your children at home? And I don’t want to hear the needs a break shit. Its bullshit. You teach her what you’re okay with. And you’re okay with disrespect. Fuck her.
i can’t believe you called it an open relationship when contextually it seems prettt clear you cheated.
i think if you left her it would be good for her. she deserves to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have one foot out of it
A paltry distinction
I’ve also tried really extended foreplay or being the dominate one which works the first time, but it doesn’t work when I try to do it the next time.
Your sister is old enough to know she shouldn't be sleeping with her sisters boyfriend
Thank you. He does do things for me here and there and he takes me places. But when it’s something that I only want to do and he doesn’t like going to a ceramic studio and painting stuff together for example it’s always a very hot no because it’s not something that he also enjoys which I find very selfish. Then he tells me that he never forces what he wants to do on me and that I choose to do the things he wants. Yeah I choose to do something he wants to do because it makes him happy. I just want that same energy in return
If he cannot provide a comfortable life now how will he do it for me plus children in the future.
When you started dating, did you discuss your expectations? Because nowadays, having a stay-at-home-spouse is less and less common…it's also a dangerous position to put yourself in because you don't know what the future happens, and being out of the work force for years has a huge impact on your social benefits/savings/pension.
I bring a lot given I earn 3.5x more at the moment and fund my lifestyle.
That's the case now. However, you're only in your early 20s, and this man is clearly showing a LOT of potential. Srsly, he could have simply stayed back home in his country, working as an accountant, but he pursued a MA abroad, mostly financing it himself, and working as a carer!
Being with someone should be additive and not the same as being single. My lifestyle has become more simple and that is not what I envisioned.
Good god…. it's the norm to have a “simple” lifestyle when dating at your age.
I worked towards becoming a secondary school teacher when I met my husband, working abroad for peanuts (requirement for my license). 7 years of uni, and numerous teaching placements (unpaid). All while he was working as an engineer, making good money.
We did ld for quite a while, and yes, he definitely had to “live a simpler lifestyle”, but for him it was worth being with me.
You and your bf might simply not be a good match if all you care about is money.
He’s mad that i still like pictures of that artist on Instagram bc we had dm’d each other briefly 6 years ago