I get like this when my blood sugar is low. By ‘like this’ I mean I get nauseous, headache, stomach ache, it becomes nude to think and then almost like I’m going to pass out. i do my best to preempt it with snacks etc but shit happens sometimes. I start acting very impatient because it’s very unpleasant and I know it’s only going to get worse. If I’m out with a few friends and they’re taking ages to decide where to eat, I will get snappy and try to rush them. My alternative is to just leave and get my own food, but people tend to find that rude too!
Because I know I’m being snappy (and annoying, rushing everyone) I feel guilty about it and want to lighten the mood. I’ll try to crack jokes but they’re always terrible and miscalculated. By that point my prefrontal cortex is impaired and has one goal: make the pain stop—> food.
Obviously it’s still MY responsibility, but I’m never actually that rude and people eventually understand. I’ve never made anyone cry but I can see how someone who is a decent person can turn into a dick (or sound like one) when in that state.
The way she spoke about him reminded me of how dismissive some people can be. ‘Mr hangry’ etc. At the same time, he was very mean to his gf who was trying to do something nice for him.
He should apologise and learn from this. When I’m in that state the less I say the better.
Id give him the benefit of the doubt just because of my personal experience If he does take the lesson, then great. If he dismisses your feelings about it, or if this happens again, in any context, I would strongly urge OP to reconsider her relationship.
Why should YOU compromise when she doesn’t want to do the same.. who cares let her be mad, your daughter may even decide in the future to change her name who knows
Why should you choose to stay with an abusive man when you can leave and find one whose not. Don't waste your life dealing with someone like this. You are doing nothing but subjecting yourself to trauma and negativity. Horrible times you do not have to suffer through
He told you flat out he isn’t ready. He is dead serious when he says that.
In the future, he may make the most amazing dad ever. But if you rush that – he will never forgive you. And frankly, he shouldn’t forgive you if you get pregnant on purpose when you’re supposed to be on the pill.
I get where you’re coming from but I think your response may have come off as cold and high minded. When someone tells you they are in pain, regardless of whether you’re part of it, your response should be empathy; not “let’s talk about this when we are more mature.” That comes off as uncaring and suggesting that she is the one who is immature. I’m 51 and haven’t spoke to my brother, who was once my best friend, in 5 years because of defensiveness and the need to wound in order to win.
Do whatever you can to mend the fence and get things out in the open before too much time goes by and you grow complacent. Because it will happen and you will be strangers in short order.
It took me 10 years to even begin to think about repairing the relationship with my dad after his recovery from alcohol abuse. Sometimes it takes a looooong time. Good luck bud.
Thank you, that’s great advice.
Two words MAN CHILD
Time for a different partner imho
If he’s autistic he likely just doesn’t understand why you need to be “cared for” if your physically okay.
I get like this when my blood sugar is low. By ‘like this’ I mean I get nauseous, headache, stomach ache, it becomes nude to think and then almost like I’m going to pass out. i do my best to preempt it with snacks etc but shit happens sometimes. I start acting very impatient because it’s very unpleasant and I know it’s only going to get worse. If I’m out with a few friends and they’re taking ages to decide where to eat, I will get snappy and try to rush them. My alternative is to just leave and get my own food, but people tend to find that rude too!
Because I know I’m being snappy (and annoying, rushing everyone) I feel guilty about it and want to lighten the mood. I’ll try to crack jokes but they’re always terrible and miscalculated. By that point my prefrontal cortex is impaired and has one goal: make the pain stop—> food.
Obviously it’s still MY responsibility, but I’m never actually that rude and people eventually understand. I’ve never made anyone cry but I can see how someone who is a decent person can turn into a dick (or sound like one) when in that state.
The way she spoke about him reminded me of how dismissive some people can be. ‘Mr hangry’ etc. At the same time, he was very mean to his gf who was trying to do something nice for him.
He should apologise and learn from this. When I’m in that state the less I say the better.
Id give him the benefit of the doubt just because of my personal experience If he does take the lesson, then great. If he dismisses your feelings about it, or if this happens again, in any context, I would strongly urge OP to reconsider her relationship.
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Oh Christ this age gap. My god.
Why should YOU compromise when she doesn’t want to do the same.. who cares let her be mad, your daughter may even decide in the future to change her name who knows
Then. Don’t. Look.
You need to leave the guy who doesn't respect you. Once you've done that you can start fixing yourself. This might require some professional help!
Why should you choose to stay with an abusive man when you can leave and find one whose not. Don't waste your life dealing with someone like this. You are doing nothing but subjecting yourself to trauma and negativity. Horrible times you do not have to suffer through
You can’t change him.
He told you flat out he isn’t ready. He is dead serious when he says that.
In the future, he may make the most amazing dad ever. But if you rush that – he will never forgive you. And frankly, he shouldn’t forgive you if you get pregnant on purpose when you’re supposed to be on the pill.
It just depends on what you want in life.
It is NOT easy to be a single mom.
I get where you’re coming from but I think your response may have come off as cold and high minded. When someone tells you they are in pain, regardless of whether you’re part of it, your response should be empathy; not “let’s talk about this when we are more mature.” That comes off as uncaring and suggesting that she is the one who is immature. I’m 51 and haven’t spoke to my brother, who was once my best friend, in 5 years because of defensiveness and the need to wound in order to win.
Do whatever you can to mend the fence and get things out in the open before too much time goes by and you grow complacent. Because it will happen and you will be strangers in short order.
You need to see a therapist.
It took me 10 years to even begin to think about repairing the relationship with my dad after his recovery from alcohol abuse. Sometimes it takes a looooong time. Good luck bud.
I’m so sorry. Personally, I wouldn’t go forward marrying someone who broke my trust in this way. Best of luck to you.