I’m so fascinated and curious how one day these guys were drooling over one and now moving on to the next.
Sorry bro, but are you really any different?
incredibly gorgeous girl, turns heads attractive they’re pretty but not even close as attractive as the first coworker
You're demonstrating the same characteristics, but being more subtle about it.
Anyways.
Yeah, it sucks.
People will play “Mr. Nice Guy”, until they realize its a lost cause. Its an act and ingenuine.
Think about Heidi. Probably gone her entire life with people advancing on her… And being in a workplace, sometimes you just want to keep your head down and get a paycheque.
She is accustomed to this.
And likely developed a skillset to shut down things quickly and keep the workplace professional. Resulting in men making a try for her, and then giving up (lost cause).
It also wouldn't be a surprise if she felt compelled to act cold to others, just to deter them from advancing on her.
She sounds like a woman who can take care of herself.
Not sure what advice you're looking for here?
This, just makes no sense to me here:
ignoring attractive quiet girl (25F) in favor of younger outgoing coworkers (24F) (23F) and expressing favoritism.
Why does any of this shit really matter? Go to work. Do your job. This isn't high school.
See, I get the reasons that she gets upset with you. You have responsibilities as an adult to pick up after yourself. If you’re getting up to grab your phone or your shoes, how very hot is it to bring your dish to the sink and rinse it off first? How naked is it to check under the bed and the surrounding areas for stray clothing when gathering laundry? These are things you should work on because obviously having a clean home is important to her and when you don’t prioritize a clean home, you’re telling her that you don’t care how important it is to her.
That being said, her reactions and the way she takes it out on you is very uncalled for. None of what you said warrants a multiple day silent treatment. And maybe you weren’t listening when she was trying to get you to clean up after yourself and she feels she has to resort to being emotionally abusive to get her point across, or maybe this was always how she handled your household mistakes, but either way, she needs to find a better way of communicating with you.
Spudmix comment isn't that much relevant to this thread either.
He was just playing devils advocate and proving OPs fears – which resulted from personal bad experiences-
wrong.
Stating, OP as a irrationally thinking woman got things all wrong and that statistically she had no reason to fear what she feared.
spudmix may not have gotten, that this is an ahole move to unvalidate someones tramatic feelings by throwing statistics on them unvalidating aforementioned feelings with “facts”.
Children (and someone in school is a child) hit on significantly older adults all the time. They are still developing and don't have the life experience to make the best judgements for themselves. The adult is responsible for shutting it down.
I think it is normal for people to look at others and find them attractive. If I see someone attractive, I look. It doesn't mean I want to have anything to do with them personally. I just appreciate a bright smile or a nice hairstyle, sometimes a nice curvy butt. I have no interest in that person but I do appreciate certain things about other people. I also will take a second look at someone wearing a lime green plaid suit. I find people interesting and I look.
I don't think it is odd that your partner looks, I think it is odd you care so much. Are you insecure?
“I’ve been thinking a lot about it and I don’t feel right skipping my friends wedding – I will reach out to your friend and let her know myself that I won’t make it and apologize for the delay in confirming this”
Herpes is passed by skin/skin contact, so unless she has it exactly and only where a condom would cover, and no where else, and you never touch any other skin in that area…. (condoms won't help)
If your relationship is completely professional as I’m reading in your other comments, no, don’t, at least not yet. That’s putting her on the spot very suddenly. Just be friendly, start or end your meetings by telling her something about your day or whatever. Let that naturally progress to a conversation. If it doesn’t, don’t force it, she probably isn’t interested.
Have fun with that for a while, then decide if you want to ask to take the conversation to outside work hours.
It’s clearly that you have an attachment with him and that’s not your fault but my advise would be for you to start putting some distance until the point you are in a relationship that is accordingly to your age gap and not like there’s a 4-5 year gap
Frankly, there's really no gentle way to say, “You need to learn to clean yourself appropriately. What you're doing now ain't cutting it.”
Whatever the reason for that may be, it's not something that can or should continue. If he's too large to clean himself, then he needs to work on a weight reduction plan and come up with a solution in the meantime, whether that's a bad day or something else.
If he's just so lazy that he's never learned to wipe himself properly, then again, there's really no way to have a gentle conversation about this. The man is apparently walking around with terminally, perpetually shit stained clothes.
If he has incontinence issues, it's time to talk about diapers. Seriously.
I’m so fascinated and curious how one day these guys were drooling over one and now moving on to the next.
Sorry bro, but are you really any different?
incredibly gorgeous girl, turns heads attractive they’re pretty but not even close as attractive as the first coworker
You're demonstrating the same characteristics, but being more subtle about it.
Anyways.
Yeah, it sucks.
People will play “Mr. Nice Guy”, until they realize its a lost cause. Its an act and ingenuine.
Think about Heidi. Probably gone her entire life with people advancing on her… And being in a workplace, sometimes you just want to keep your head down and get a paycheque.
She is accustomed to this.
And likely developed a skillset to shut down things quickly and keep the workplace professional. Resulting in men making a try for her, and then giving up (lost cause).
It also wouldn't be a surprise if she felt compelled to act cold to others, just to deter them from advancing on her.
She sounds like a woman who can take care of herself.
Not sure what advice you're looking for here?
This, just makes no sense to me here:
ignoring attractive quiet girl (25F) in favor of younger outgoing coworkers (24F) (23F) and expressing favoritism.
Why does any of this shit really matter? Go to work. Do your job. This isn't high school.
So it's justifies controlling and sexist?
See, I get the reasons that she gets upset with you. You have responsibilities as an adult to pick up after yourself. If you’re getting up to grab your phone or your shoes, how very hot is it to bring your dish to the sink and rinse it off first? How naked is it to check under the bed and the surrounding areas for stray clothing when gathering laundry? These are things you should work on because obviously having a clean home is important to her and when you don’t prioritize a clean home, you’re telling her that you don’t care how important it is to her.
That being said, her reactions and the way she takes it out on you is very uncalled for. None of what you said warrants a multiple day silent treatment. And maybe you weren’t listening when she was trying to get you to clean up after yourself and she feels she has to resort to being emotionally abusive to get her point across, or maybe this was always how she handled your household mistakes, but either way, she needs to find a better way of communicating with you.
Spudmix comment isn't that much relevant to this thread either.
He was just playing devils advocate and proving OPs fears – which resulted from personal bad experiences-
wrong.
Stating, OP as a irrationally thinking woman got things all wrong and that statistically she had no reason to fear what she feared.
spudmix may not have gotten, that this is an ahole move to unvalidate someones tramatic feelings by throwing statistics on them unvalidating aforementioned feelings with “facts”.
Children (and someone in school is a child) hit on significantly older adults all the time. They are still developing and don't have the life experience to make the best judgements for themselves. The adult is responsible for shutting it down.
I think it is normal for people to look at others and find them attractive. If I see someone attractive, I look. It doesn't mean I want to have anything to do with them personally. I just appreciate a bright smile or a nice hairstyle, sometimes a nice curvy butt. I have no interest in that person but I do appreciate certain things about other people. I also will take a second look at someone wearing a lime green plaid suit. I find people interesting and I look.
I don't think it is odd that your partner looks, I think it is odd you care so much. Are you insecure?
She thinks you’re a roommate, not her bf.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about it and I don’t feel right skipping my friends wedding – I will reach out to your friend and let her know myself that I won’t make it and apologize for the delay in confirming this”
Herpes is passed by skin/skin contact, so unless she has it exactly and only where a condom would cover, and no where else, and you never touch any other skin in that area…. (condoms won't help)
Glad I'm not the only one to get that vibe! Also hi fellow SW, small world lol. high five
Please don't do this to appease him you're not compatible just leave and get on with your life. You will hate yourself and him if you don't.
If your relationship is completely professional as I’m reading in your other comments, no, don’t, at least not yet. That’s putting her on the spot very suddenly. Just be friendly, start or end your meetings by telling her something about your day or whatever. Let that naturally progress to a conversation. If it doesn’t, don’t force it, she probably isn’t interested.
Have fun with that for a while, then decide if you want to ask to take the conversation to outside work hours.
okay, FOMO means “fear of missing out”, so this had me confused for a sec before I started reading
It’s clearly that you have an attachment with him and that’s not your fault but my advise would be for you to start putting some distance until the point you are in a relationship that is accordingly to your age gap and not like there’s a 4-5 year gap
Dump this loser
EXACTLY!!! Enforce the boundary with a restraining order OP!! These people are delusional and delusional is Dangerous!!
Should I just confront her directly again? I feel like I get really weak when she starts crying.
Serious question: is your husband plus sized?
Frankly, there's really no gentle way to say, “You need to learn to clean yourself appropriately. What you're doing now ain't cutting it.”
Whatever the reason for that may be, it's not something that can or should continue. If he's too large to clean himself, then he needs to work on a weight reduction plan and come up with a solution in the meantime, whether that's a bad day or something else.
If he's just so lazy that he's never learned to wipe himself properly, then again, there's really no way to have a gentle conversation about this. The man is apparently walking around with terminally, perpetually shit stained clothes.
If he has incontinence issues, it's time to talk about diapers. Seriously.
I guess marriage vows mean nothing.