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Model from: pl
Languages: en,pl
Birth Date: 2000-02-10
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Yeah that's called lying. You don't need to waste time on liars.
I’m not sure why the advice of talking it out has to involve her stopping what she does in her private life. If she’s isn’t being a bad roommate by bringing home random people, her friend’s hang ups on her sexual exploits are HIS problem to deal with. Yes, they should talk out what the actual problem is, but she’s not doing anything wrong so there’s really no need to change her lifestyle until they talk through his issues.
We can’t pick our family
Cannot say definitely ever until a paternity test. We were together pretty much every day during the window. But because of the split after it will be paternity
Haha, totally. This reminds me of the SNL sketch about Pandora charms (it's under “Holiday Jewelry” on YouTube).
If you dont have trust, you dont have anything.
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Why do you care about what your parents think about your proposal with 40? You’re a grown man and they seem really disrespectful and superficial. Go nc till they learn they can’t do what they want trust me.
You cannot make her do anything. Tried that with my mother but I accepted that she was happy the way she was. Leave her be, it’s only making your relationship harder to always judge her. I know you do that in her best interest, but she doesn’t want to change. She doesn’t want to. Let that sink in.
the problem is, you don't love him. he conditioned you to think you love him.
Vegan = pro life
Or she realized that she had actually been impregnated by Satan impersonating her husband
So…you guys got together when she was 18 and you 26? That’s really all anyone needs to know here to see that you’re controlling af.
It's a regular catholic church and her friends state that the retreat included no mention of cheating on their partners
But that doesn’t mean she didn’t meet someone from a different group. A lot of Catholic retreats bring different groups together. The person she met may, have been in a separate group. Either way someone put the idea in her head and convinced her.
Especially since the last Update of her is about how HE doesn't want HER to go on their honeymoon with her friends, now that he got his wish to postpone the wedding. This man is trash and selfish to the max. He extended his reach far too greatly by wanting to prevent her from going on a trip because he is incapable of prioritizing his fiancé and subsequently can't go with her.
He made his bed, he has to lie in it. Better yet, he should lie on the cold street ground after she kicks his trash butt to the curb. God I hope OP finds her self respect before she makes the mistake of marrying this man.
my dad was like that to my mom and whittled away almost all her preferences and self confidence, hang in there and stand tall
You're a grown woman, if you want to swim instead of run just go get in the pool. He's controlling which usually either is a precursor to or part of abuse. He's not a good man and you can do better.
I understand that your husband must be upset and frustrated from trying to convince but this is quite literally the most shittest and selfish thing he can suggest.
I can see you defending him, but yes he’s disgusting and thinks like an degenerate.
“Stop telling me he's a serial killer or a rapist” men don't handcuff you and leave you fucking screaming because they're a GOOD person. Deranged thinking. Seek help
I have a rule of thumb that I might possibly forgive a drunken moment in context. The context is most important though. It's that the relationship had gone on long enough for me to have invested in it past the point where forgiveness deserves consideration, that the cheating is immediately admitted to and honestly regretted, and that the regret is genuine enough to persuade me that it's a singular event that won't happen again. It's all dependent on the situation, but I would struggle to forgive and forget even with those conditions. You haven't been together long in the grand scheme of things, you weren't told, you found out, and now her regret is clouded by whether it's regret at losing you as she should or regret at what she did. Is she sorry she did it or sorry at the outcome? One is some small measure of return for the pain caused, the other is selfishness. I don't think this would pass any of the conditions I expect to reach forgiveness.
I think you'll find you committed felony assault and kidnap my man.
It's giving streetcar named desire…
Your sister should press charges and you should get a divorce.
Close your door. Put “do not disturb” on it. Is that allowed?
Say “I’m actually busy. Can’t talk right now.”
Right? Just because someone chooses to imbibe and then does shitty things doesn't mean I have to be OK with it.
To start, I have two questions around your logistics argument; first, friends as an argument doesn’t make sense. Your ultimate plan is leaving them anyway. Second, what are the career connections, and where would said opportunities be located? The financial argument is absolutely reasonable.
As for the ultimatum, I think it’s unreasonable from a timing perspective but I think the real truth is that you’re not sure you want to move at all. Take a step back and be honest about that. She could also move to you if being with you was so important. Good luck.
Don’t use the number and pretend it never happened. If he keeps hitting on you then report it to his boss.
My partner and I after 20 years last year and a relationship on life support we decided enough is enough, that this year it's give it a real healthy chance and go to couples counseling, or end it already. No more wasting prime time in our lives.
I let him pick the place and he went to the first two sessions first, then I started going with. It's been two and a half months of going once a week for an hour.
It's actually going better than I expected. She gave us ideas and options we never thought of. Made impossible things we have ignored or put off due to it being easier to ignore seem like easy fixes we were only cheating ourselves out of. Made us realise all the good things we do have and can still have even more of.
I admit I went into it thinking I know this is just going to be a big rehash of all the crap I already know and have accepted but if wasting my time and resources going at least I can say I gave it a healthy ending. That was actually my mindset.
So far it's been worth it and it's not been overnight magic but I've felt a lot better in our relationship and a lot more valued and I've felt my closed off crappy dead end additude start to change. I wish we had at least given this a try sooner.
We have a few other friends couples going to different family and couples counseling and I thought it was like admitting failure. Or people just doing it because it's the popular thing to do now. It's helped us get out of the not feel traped at a go nowhere dead end or break up already cycle. It's helped us help each other and us both feel better about ourselves.
It's an option that's worth it after all you've put into your relationship thus far. Even if my partner and I end it at some point down the line, at least I know we tried by exploring healthy educated options before we threw it all away.
This shit actually happens for real in the UK far too often.
This sounds a lot easier than it will be, but just go. If you live! together, you'll have to stay with someone or get your own place. Don't tell him. He will just gaslight you more. When you leave, block him on everything. Leave a note, if you feel the need, but don't let him contact you or you'll go back. If his family or friends reach out, ignore them.
Start over, and please stay single until you believe in yourself again.
Honestly I think you should enjoy the photos.. my mother did a boudoir photo shoot with one of my family’s friends so she could make a calendar for my father for his private workshop… guess what? He LOVED it.
I think the problem is your stuck on “MY wife” “MY friend.” You’re not thinking about the fact it’s your wife’s body and no one touched the other he was fully professional. If she was uncomfortable she could have told him no, she wasn’t, yalls friend knew these photos were for you. Enjoy the photos.
yeah, that’s definitely what happened my friend, and I’m so slighted
Lol i’ve never done a boudoir shoot but it could be cool, I just don’t personally have enough confidence in my particular body after childbirth and cancer. I know that if i did, I wouldn’t have to ask for permission though.
The point I’m making here is absolutely relevant to the comment I replied to. You think it’s about the wife, that’s fine, but it’s not. the problem lies with the ‘photographer.’ If OP considers boudoir photos to be cheating, then that is on him and he should’ve established VERY clear boundaries from the beginning. Looking at OPs comments, he did no such thing and is now upset because he feels like his ‘friend’ has now seen the most personal parts of his wife and is worried that photographer is getting off to it/trying to get close to his wife. According to OPs comments, photographer was the one pushing for more sexual photos. hence why the fault lies on the photographer-perhaps he was being a creep. But the wife clearly had no ill-intent, as evidenced by her willingly showing OP. this was not something hidden, not a secret, not an affair.
Idk why you think my take is based in my own insecurity, I’m not sure what me not being confident to do a boudoir shoot for myself but openly supporting the women that DO, is giving you this idea but… maybe it’s you who’s projecting..? who knows man. It’s reddit. I don’t care what you think, and you don’t care what I think, and we’ve both given our opinions here. You good? Cause I’m good.
I’d just say your piece like you said above I’d also add to it your done and leave it at that. Block his number it’s over.
It comes down to your particular morality.
Nobody I know would have a problem with this. (including my wife. we both look at thirst trap Instagram posts from time to time) that being said, my friends and I typically don't do this.
So he may see this as totally normal and that's fine. And you may see it as a deal breaker. Which is also fine
What’s concerning with the age gap? I don’t think it’s too far apart. Me and her share the same passion for history and Chinese opera not many people my age like Chinese opera lol
So technically she could’ve requested $4 from her lol
“Hey I’d like to talk with you. When is a good time?”
That literally sounds like a nightmare scenario out of a tasteless comedy.
They treated you like an animal and totally defiled an activity that's sacrosanct… using the restroom. If that's something they consider as a joke then they've shown that they don't respect basic human boundaries or your feelings. Your BF also showed that he doesn't really value you or your feelings by how he acted after the fact. (Also, he and his friends sound 16 not 28 lol)
To me what they did would be unforgivable and I'd never want to associate with any of them again.
This is textbook “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
This is a guy who will complain that you're embarassing him when you're in labor and screaming. Do you want that to be your person?
What kind of a poor guy sees a vag pic from his girl and talks about her vagina like this whether it is hers or not? How can one talk about a vagina like this and not be an AH?
You are the kind of girl I hate.
To continue, I am just saying I just don't get the point of her asking me what I want from this moving forward. When on her side, its clear already, she just sees me as an acquaintance. And I told her I have no choice but to honor it, then she felt guilty about it and even asked me what I want after that statement
This is rape. It's not normal. You tell him by leaving, and if needed making a police report.
Yeah fair; I’d be asking questions too.
It’s disrespectful but I’d still give her the chance to explain herself and probably wouldn’t get too caught up with it
I've gotten so many, “you aren't allowed to have friends?” I know they aren't interested in just friendship, they're just trying to be a plan B…. And they can fuck right off.
I just had to reply to you because I actually checked the date of this post to make sure that your reply wasn't actually me from a while back. Mine was a wonderful, laid back and caring partner for over 5 years. I was so sick with my pregnancy that I had to take leave from work and this was the first sign of things to come- no support whatsoever. I was on my own. In a million years I had never imagined that he would respond to my need for emotional and physical support this way. Mine also simply walks away, refuses to respond, and follows with a long period of the silent treatment whenever I am sad and cry in front of him, mention that I have had a bad day, or otherwise show any type of emotion that indicates I am anything less than joyful, content, and focused on giving him emotional support instead. It also took me years to accept that the problems in my life and with my marriage weren't actually because I was such a bad, stupid, lazy, etc. person like he had made me believe. It was because he was emotionally abusive and I couldn't change that by being better. Anyway, I truly feel your pain and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The worst part is that he reserves this behavior for me and me only. To everyone else he is this great guy who is friendly and helpful and interesting. I never would have thought before all this that someone could be that consistent and good at portraying himself to be a really great guy, while being so manipulative and unempathetic at home. (when I say at home, I mean just me. He is great to the kids, too) Nobody would believe me, I am absolutely sure of it. It's a lonely journey.
Updateme!
I’ve been with my husband for 25 years, and he called me a bitch once when we were having a huge fight. He apologized profusely after. I would never have stayed married to him if he just randomly said I acted like a bitch. It IS name calling. And it’s not normal for him to call you that!
I know lots of other people have commented, but this isn't specialist time, this is emergency room time. I'm not usually in favor of ultimatums, but in this case I'd tell him he's going to the ER or you're breaking up because you're not going to sit there and watch him die without trying to help him.
Thanks for the good laugh I just had ?
Ma’am, to put it simply, you traded one asshole for another. From what I can see, as an individual that has had to look inward and work on myself in order to break a toxic cycle, you need therapy. You literally jumped from one person to the next after your divorce. You’re pregnant again. You’re repeating the cycle. I highly suggest seeking out therapy in order to identify why you are pulled towards the same type of people and situations.
Why are you still with a person who puts you through this kind of abuse?
No, I think the fiancé found out and was ok to try and reconcile. She was cheating on both guys. You guys should have broke up then. Very seldom does the betrayed truly forget and move on completely. Sounds like a pretty crappy relationship. Probably better for both of you.
thank you so much for the answer, really puts things into perspective for me. I do feel really hurt, but I think thats just cause it just happend yk
how do I make myself move forward and make her amend her mistakes with me? we've had a perfect relationship until this point, no fights whatsoever.