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Cutie pie Izumi, ♥ Tits rules the world, 19 y.o.
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You say you have nudes of her. Does she have nudes of you?
What about tik tok?
Move on she’s looking at other options, forget about the gig she’s a major ?backpedaling on what she says and also showing that when conversation runs dry she’s looking to others for comfort not you. You can salvage it if you set clear boundaries and slow tf down but it looks like an uphill battle from where I see it.
You’ve only dated a month that is nothing and the behaviour from her says she wants to sleep around and she is in her right to do so. She’s not looking for exclusivity and is already lying to you.
Using a picture of her as walpaper not even a month in is a no no IMO. It’s too early to be that deep, if I was a woman that would put me off
A good tip is to look at a persons actions vs what they do because it’s a lot more telling of their character
Maybe get a financial advisor…savings for a retirement…savings for a home…savings for a vacation…etc that he needs to put money in every month then maybe he will be more responsible and not spend money on stupid stuff.
You may not have”meant” to be rude and condescending. But everything you wrote back to me was, and was taken that way
You really know nothing about human beings, or how to deal with them, particularly your husband.
We will try this again. If you want something private its on you to make sure it stays that way. Its your fault for making it accessible
When you write about someone and they read it they are always going to focus on that portion of the writing.
Honestly the way you are putting it i think you wanted him to find it so he could say “poor, poor you” and your just mad he didn't
Why did you listen to the lawyer? Why do you refer to your son as “the child”?
You need marriage counseling from this description. Specifically a professional to navigate this situation. You need training on how to argue in a way that the both of you can accept. A therapist can mediate this as well as model it.
Apparently, your partner has no sense of humor! No playful bone! Gracious such a sensitive Ninny! I see nothing wrong w what you did! Your partner on the other hand should call the physiologist!
ENM can still be a problem. Humans will do what benefits them personally in the long run. Being non monogamous doesn't mean you can't be cheated on or used. Probably just makes it easier.
That's fucked ,
Sexual incompatibility is grounds for break up
If you'd have said yes, all of a sudden he'd want it again
Sounds like your GF has made your trauma all about her. Of course she would have hoped you told her earlier but she must not understand how childhood sexual assault (especially by a parent) inhibits trust and affects every part of a person. Has she done any reading or counseling on how to help you and in turn herself? It makes sense that you turning away from sex has taken a toll on her ego and self-esteem but to call that you “not respecting” her body is a disingenuous leap.
I’m sorry your father is a POS and did that to you. You are not your trauma. You deserve a partner that will walk this recovery path with you. Maybe this gf is the one or maybe not.
The hike sounds amazing. Hope you carry all you learned about yourself with you forever.
I asked here, and it sounds pretty bad. Pasting her answer below.
Some of what he said to me that hurt me the most:
“You can't possibly be so stupid that you didn't realise he's been into you (for some time).”
“You must love the attention.”
“Is he (his brother) more important than me (boyfriend)?”
And some really inappropriate ones I'm not really comfortable typing out here, sorry.
I know i wouldn't do it if i was your bf, i honestly think breaking friendships becsuse of a SO is extremely controlling, no matter how toxic that friendship might be, i'd be ok if it was suggester or we had a conversation about why i'd do it, but if you expected me to do it, i wouldn't because i don't really like being manipulated into being or not being friends with people
You're correct in that you have no right to change his beliefs, but you can limit the impact of those beliefs on your life. Do not let him convert you, and I hope you're able to push back very hot on any subtle attempts to do so.
The best thing you can do is show him that life outside the JW cult is not the desolate hellscape he thinks it is, which is a narrative that's been drilled into his head since he could understand language. And, it has you in it!
Ouch OP. Unfortunately I think he's been planning this for a while now. With the new job not making much more and moving, yeah he had an ulterior motive here. The electric was just an excuse for him to finally say he was done. Sorry.
Doesn't that mean then he isn't a Muslim anymore?
Ya I felt like a total dork and apologized if that put pressure on her. She’s pretty rad and has a lot of stuff she’s worked through and has such support here. I completely respect where she is coming from.
I don't understand how this conversation could have gone more than 3 or 4 sentences. You wanted to know what was in his drink. He didn't want to tell you. That's two sentences. Maybe a third and fourth to clarify that he was serious.
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“I am my penis”
??
The fact you gave it serious consideration and acted on by conversing with the people would be concerning to many people nonetheless.
When I didn't immediately accept it, she got upset and said I'm giving her anxiety and ruining her morning by not accepting her apology. I then spent the rest of our morning commute consoling her.
Please don't do this people. I don't care what the situation is it's super shitty to make someone console you for hurting their feelings.
I understand the words, just doesn’t make sense to me.
Sorry for the formating
You know her better than we do, but based on that I’d actually lean to it being intended cruelly. Especially because she isn’t responding to tell you what she wants you to do.
And my advice is to block her number.
He didnt feel this way at the time, but sure if time travel existed that would be an option.
The passive-agressive shows of support would be next trip to buy him the pretzel at the mall. Give him a dessert while she is sitting there, or just saying something like ” oh he is just so cute the way he is ” and give him a hug when she is harranging hin.
Please update us!
She's not a real friend, she's a sad and petty human..
What is accepting to you, not being mean to them? Because other than refusing to not be nice, she hasn’t said what he’s doing wrong. That shit is toxic.
You don’t have to be so passive. You can actively deal with this situation. If they’ve crossed a line, you can demand zero context outside of work, open device policy, or any number of other safeguards. Quitting her job may also be in the cards if you believe it’s necessary.
You don’t have to sit around and wait for the affair to mature, but you must be willing to cut her loose If you intend to save the relationship.
Those are his bodily fluids, he can do with him what he wishes.
As someone in their early 20s who's seen a lot of elderly people act ridiculously selfish… some people even get worse with age.
Yeo, thank you sm for the advice :3
Wow, he is having a straight up emotional affair and lying to you.
No worries! Hope the cooking goes well and you get to enjoy some really good food together~
This isn’t about her. This is clearly bringing out your own insecurities so that’s obviously something you need to work on. Ask yourself why you’re actually mad about this? Because she’ll have the same fun you did? Because it’s not you? Because you think you’re the only one who deserves more than one person? Because literally none of those are viable reasons.
This really sucks. Your wife sounds irrational and cruel. And unfortunately there may be no way for you to clear this woman's name and be believed, and not get accused of something shady too; your wife would need to be the one to publicly retract what she's said. It doesn't sound as though she's likely to do that.
I'd have trouble staying with someone acting this way too. The situation really seems to show some serious character flaws, truly major concerns in the areas of her judgement, her trustworthiness and honesty, and her capacity for cruelty. Maybe she'd be willing to take back her accusations if you tell her that what she's doing is making you question if you even want to stay with her, that you don't think you can be with someone who is so vindictive, and you need her to fix the damage she's caused.
I feel like there must be information missing here, that something else happened to make your wife flip out so very hot towards this woman. You may not have been given the truth about your wife's reasons, like maybe she did something wrong that she wants nobody to know about. Or maybe your wife is having a mental crisis of some sort and could benefit from seeing a doctor.
Odd questions but devoid of any context I wouldn’t see any problem in responding to them.
I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree then.
Relationships aren't a switch one can just flip, they develop over time. So at just a “couple days” of dating it's probable that she didn't really think she had a “boyfriend”. The concerning part here is that she told you about it. Women get hit on constantly and most of us can blow it off as just an annoying part of life. So you have to consider that she reported this to you (whether it really happened or not) just to make you territorial and possessive. Some people just thrive on drama.
Echo chamber of truth**
Lol just because y’all downvote and continue to bury your head in the sand – doesn’t mean the truth won’t continue on being the truth.
Brother.
You've been taken advantage of and now you're being abused.
I know you're scared, I know you think you can just ignore it.
But you should not.
You should never render yourself powerless.
Tell the police. Tell social media, tell your friends.
Tell them how Pete not only raped you.
Tell them how he tried time and time again.
Tell them how he began abusing you, all these things he's done to you.
Do not let him walk away, do not le him do to somebody else.
You know these types, you know who they are.
It's no longer their world, they can't just hush the internet away, they can't hide the shame forever.
But you can choose to do what must be done.
You can choose to make the world a lighter brighter by bringing a monster to the light.
I wont judge you if you end up simply leaving, I don't know what'll happen then.
I understand how very hot it is to do such a thing
Yet I believe that no decent man could see what has been unleashed and try not to contain it.
Be at peace brother, and good luck.
Yes my ex kept saying he planned to move in the next few years he couldn’t be bothered to organise his life to enable it.
Yes its very dangerous. It can destroy health and some molds make toxic compounds that can cause cancer. If you already feel sick I would avoid her place. Wash your clothes well when you go home so you dont carry the spores home. Then you can try to get her to see how serious it is to not on-line that way. You can only try she may not listen.
Block her again. And I’m sorry you’ve had a tough time over the past few years
School first. Always. You are going to be an entirely different amazing person in these three years coming up and even after. Your heart might still be aligned with his, and if it is then he will help and support your dedication to your career. Being a doctor is a badge of honor, service and very hot earned commitment, he should be proud of you not diminish you for his own gain.
You need to break up. If you try to please her and do it, you will hate her and yourself. You will never trust her again, or feel as if you can in the future. She ended the relationship with her suggestion. By the way, when monogamous relationships open up they usually end quickly for a lot of reasons. Always be true to yourself.
High percentage of mothers only have photos with their kids because they are selfies. Is it that very hot to snap a photo and put your phone away??? Can’t be as hot as being in the army ? it’s ain’t rocket science either.
Her reaction is extreme but probably from asking you for a while and never getting just 1 picture. She boiled over.
She lied about you not being invited. Who is to say that she isn't lying about her brother's gf ? Maybe your gf is the one causing issues.
I'd be honest and say that I have seen the message and prepare for open combat. It is 1 year and, if you guys on-line together, there is no reason for you to be her secret.
What makes you call OP volatile? because she stayed the night with her childhood friend and apologised afterwards?
If you've been sleeping with a woman, you shouldn't be surprised when she turns round and says she's pregnant. The ex just said the baby must have been fathered by someone else even though there wasn't anyone else. He didn't ask for proof the baby was his or say that he'd step up if it were his. He assumed she'd have an abortion, he could have helped out with that but didn't.
OP could maybe have tried to have another convo with him, but given that he'd been nasty and controlling, I honestly can't blame her. I only wonder why she kept the kids, but it's not like it's something to blame her for.
If they were recent like very recent pictures being sent to him then yes it’s weird but most guys going to be 1000% honest after taking a picture or being sent on after like 30 min that picture gets completely forgotten about until someone brings it up and by the looks of it’s that relationship was in 2017. So this mostly likely be that situation you will just have to bring it up and show him and if he has literally no reaction to it then that means yea he completely forgot those existed but if he starts lying and getting really mad about then then that means he has recently been looking at them. But I am going to go with the first option since I am a guy and tbh I don’t even know what my old google photos have I just don’t delete photos or ever really go back and check
I'd say leave, but your abusive wife needs to gtfo of the house and go on-line alone with her anger and abusiveness since that's what she prioritizes every time she raises her hand to you.
A guy I know stayed until he was forced to flee the house half hot in pajama pants and bare feet, with their child in his arms, through the snow after his now ex wife stabbed him.
Abusive people will never change, because deep down, they feel entitled to abuse you. Maybe they were victims of similar abuse once, but they make a choice to continue the abuse cycle, just as thousands who suffer even worse abuse never choose to abuse another.
Yeah maybe it’s as easy as that and I can’t do anything about it
If someone develops an addiction to cope with abuse, how do you expect them to kick that addiction without addressing the abuse? You have to tackle the root cause of addiction to permanently manage it.
Or let's say maybe OP had a problem before the relationship, abuse isn't going to make it any more feasible to deal with. It's like saying someone with pneumonia who just got pinned under a fallen tree should worry about their lungs before their legs. One has to come before the other, or at the very least at the same time.
You need to speak with a lawyer about custody.
If you don't want to be with her, you should break up now. Stringing her along for the next 4 months isn't good for either of you.
You let it go. She should have told you, but she didn't cheat on you, and you've had great years together. Does it really change how you feel?
Do you really want to destroy your marriage, put your kids through a nasty divorce, for something that happened years and years ago, and wasn't even her cheating on you?
Does it really diminish everything else?
Furthermore, are you going to give your brother the satisfaction of ruining your relationship? Really?
Here's the facts. You have a beautiful family. Your wife loves you. Your kids love you.
Let it go.
That's good for his sake, regardless of whether you stay or leave. I figured I should respond though as, while I still stand by the advice in my OC, something that completely went over my head while writing that up was the fact that he's held this relationship for years while with you, the entire relationship even…. THAT is very concerning, and doesn't bode well for his “honesty”. He lied to you for your entire relationship and you were non the wiser… Why he felt the need to cut this off now and tell you, and why he felt there wasn't an issue with this 2nd relationship are two very important questions for him.
Beyond that, if you are leaning towards trying to mend the relationship, I'd advise to think long and very hot on the fact that he maintained and lied about this relationship for all this time. For his sake (and yours if you decide to stay) I hope he's being 100% genuine/honest, but this is a pretty severe level of infidelity….
So simply don't marry him then
Instead of going home, go to a café and start looking for flats. Just find anything that allows cats. If you lack down payment, start saving and selling anything. Borrow from friends and family. Find a new hobby to do after work. Go to the gym everyday.
2 MONTHS.
Run.
And don't look back!
Yeah, it can be a difficult talk. I hope it goes well.
I would be extremely tempted to show up towards the end of the night to “offer a ride” to my loving wife! This sounds very shady to me.