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Dana Bananna, 19 y.o.
Location: Madrid, Spain
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Way to choose to ignore the entirety of my question.
Brother has been confronted. Now brother is going to be aware of OP wanting to correct this. Meaning Brother isn't going to want to meet OP with Sadie present.
I don’t disagree, but this post left a lot of questions unanswered, even with the updates, which leads me to believe it is fake. If I am right, what was the intent behind the post?
100% always trust your intuition. If it feels off, it's off.
Lil side story, I was (cheeky) face timing a guy last year and was thrown off by some sort of odd conversation in the background, followed by a swift hang up on his end. He said there was a blackout, but everything about it felt SO off. The story I ran with was that he lived with his girlfriend who had caught him lol. I blocked him and got on with my life. Truth being I don't really know what actually happened but I do know my gut was on fire with ” this doesn't feel right”. Moral of the story, always always trust your intuition.
First of all, I want to apologize in advance for how mean this is going to sound, but:
How do I move on? How do I forget him? I never worked cause he made plenty. How do I enter the work force at 31?
Why have you waited until now to ask these questions? You've known for a while now that he's sick and dying. Even if he didn't have the affair, you have known for a while now that your time together is coming to an end and that you need to plan for a future without him.
My advice: stay married until he dies. In the mean time, plan for the future. You can start right now by applying for jobs. In fact, doing it now while you still have his income will be better, because it takes the pressure of finding something quickly off.
At 31 with no work experience you can still apply for jobs at the grocery store, clothing stores, McDonald's, burger King, taxi driver, nanny etc.
If you're comfortable with it, you can try making some money on OF.
It’s totally normal, so long as it’s discussed beforehand. My husband and I both have iPhones, so we just share our locations through there rather than a 3rd party app. But it was an established boundary that we started doing after our daughter was born and one based on the idea of safety and not a lack of trust.
Maybe don't be messing around with the mother of your good friend's child. Seems pretty simple
Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is a common sexually transmitted infection. More than 90 percent of sexually active men and 80 percent of sexually active women will be infected with HPV in their lifetime.
Frankly it's likely he has it too and just doesn't know. They don't test for it unless you're having symptoms and most people are asymptomatic.
Anyway, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me but I can't speak for him.
He said it’s because he’s something he “deeply desires” so I should just give in, instead of digging in my heels.
For me, this isn't about the name but what he said right here!! Holy red flag batman!!
It most certainly is not
People who were cheated on will likely seek ‘safe’ people to seek validation from, usually of the opposite sex for obvious reasons. I think I’ve read this story one too many times on Reddit by now
OP is right to not feel comfortable with this at all and I would also ask to restrict 1 on 1 meetings with this friend
Is she 24 or 15?
Downloading a dating app is cheating.
Tell her she can date all the guys she matches with cause youre fucking done
Bruh have some spine and call a spade a spade…she’s been cheating on you with your mutual “friend”. They laugh at you together during their post-sex pillow talks. He comes in her mouth during the sleepover and she kisses you with those lips the next morning. He pounding your chick so naked she says she doesn’t love you anymore cause she’s thinking about him when it’s finally your turn for a ride.
Even if it is just for fun, it's just a crappy thing to do to the men on the other side of this. I know men aren't supposed to have feelings or anything, but many of us do! And getting strung along as part of a game is pretty awful, even if they are men are on tinder.
If they won’t talk to you write them a note. But they need to know you feel violated, that you no longer trust them and that you are an adult with your own autonomy. Let them know HOW creepy it is to go hunting for clues of sex. That is NOT okay. They’re employing emotional abuse on you with the silent treatment. Don’t allow it to get to you. Your parents are wrong. The cult of Jesus says to love and accept right?
Thank you for helping, I know it’s toxic and I knew it from the start I just wanted to try help him because he has helped me become more of myself and not let anyone else make my decisions.
You seem like a sensible young man. If you care about your gf please go with her if she insists on meeting this dude. So you don't come off as controlling.
You only care about her safety and facts are she hasn't ever met this man in person and he is a stranger. People are very different irl.
There should be no problem with her inviting her bf to meet her friend. And make it a extremely public place.
There are alot of weirdos who take advantage of younger woman. The kids i speak to on a daily saying how older men tell them they are so mature… it's gross. And predatory. I love the teens i speak to you guys can teach us alot about being more open minded yeah but that's professional capacity. It's honestly super weird coming from a whole different place to meet a teenager who's dad you could've been if you were just a lil bit older and a teenage dad. No.
Please be safe, both of you! And take care! ?
Let us know if there's an update with the creeper.
The look on my face when I read this….
Cut your losses. When I left my first husband, he had drained my student loan account of every cent, left me and two kids with nothing, not even toilet paper or clean underwear, I finally got to the place where I realized it cost me $20,000 to get rid of him, and happiness is PRICELESS
The idea of being the “cool girlfriend” has got to stop. It’s okay to have boundaries and standards for how you’re treated
GET OUT OF THIS
Oh my. You are absolutely right. You are too young to become a caregiver for your girlfriend. I understand not wanting to hurt her. Wouldn’t it be worse if you waited a year? More painful? I think you break up now. This isn’t sustainable. You aren’t a terrible person. I think you have to break up now. It’s going to be painful for her but waiting a year would be dishonest and more painful. I’m so sorry this is happening to both of you.
I'm 19 years married and while we were dating i was a practicing alcoholic who cheated on and verbally abused her. Early into our marriage the shame was eating at me and destroying the relationship. I got therapy and turned it around and we have a rock solid marriage. The most important mental hurdle for me was realizing that my ongoing shame was hurting her and I needed to work towards self forgiveness if I was going to be a good partner. My brain kept telling me I didn't deserve to be forgiven and I kept telling it back that this isn't about me at all its about showing up for her. Self pity helps nobody and doesn't aid us in being present for our partners. It's good you are aware your behavior was wrong and have empathy for your partner but the best thing you can do for him is stop beating yourself up, learn his love language and be loving and reliable. He chose you despite your flaws, focus on giving him the best version of you. You've learned what you needed to from your guilt and it no longer serves you but more importantly it doesn't serve him.
You are not responsible to resolve this. He is the one who needs to try to apologize to you.
You should probably listen to your mom on this one
I've considered no contact I'm not going to lie. When I was a teen I would think “just wait until I'm 18. you'll never hear from me again.” But it never happened that way. I've just kinda put up with it. But I'm getting to where if I work myself into a good mental state, it gets demolished immediately upon her entering the room. I feel like our relationship is unhealthy, but only on my part. She can't see it and it baffles me.
From the person who use to be late all the time, just want to give you a slightly different perspective. Don’t be the person who changes a lot of little things to accommodate differences – that is not ok in any relationship, be yourself.
when I was late, it’s because I lost track of time and no matter how many alarms I set, there was something in my brain that said “5 more minutes and I’ll leave” and then the time flew. It is not about disrespect, because I would be horrified when I arrived late, and apologized like crazy.I just was unable to think differently. Not excusing, just telling you don’t be angry or feel disrespected. It’s really not that. For people who are always early and on time, that is how you think, not how my brain worked.
Lastly, you always should leave a relationship if your core values are not aligned. Being punctual is not a core value, but it seems you are always trying to fix the problem with suggestions and he doesn’t understand your feelings – that is a problem. There are many ways to solve the tardiness issue, like stop waiting for him. He meets you at the place where you want to go and if he is late, you start without him. Or you break up because it’s causes you stress. All valid and completely ok.
you are enjoying the situation, there is no trust or respect in a relationship that has been broken up more than once,
From now on, there will be relations outside, you will also suck.
this is your normal
So many red flags.
I think a lot of times when people are adolescent they form bonds like that aside a friend in school like this, too, when I was 16. And when you were describing a relationship, it kind of reminded me of that.
But I’m not gay. And I just grew out of it. And I suspect that’s kind of what happened with you guys. If it wasn’t, you would not have been so uncomfortable when somebody accused you of being a couple and want to know who is on top. Let it be…unless you want to be in a couple with him because I think there’s a dynamic they’re already established where it’s gonna be naked to be friends on a different level like your guy friends. And.
i don't know why like 2 comments aren't visible but could you like message me your responses id appreciate it right now
There’s a very large toy I bought while buying a vibrator live! because it was on sale, looked fun, and I wanted to reach the free shipping threshold. It turns out it was a lot bigger than I imagined and I was a lot smaller lol, and I was not physically capable of using it. Nevertheless, it’s still sitting in my toy bag because I feel weird throwing it out and what am I gonna do, donate it?
Sometimes we buy toys that we wind up not using or that don’t work for our body, or that we use maybe once a year when we’re in a particular mood. It’s not a statement on your preferences for penis size and it’s just not comparable to sex with a person who loves you and cares about your pleasure. Just talk to your girlfriend— not in an accusatory manner, but just ask her about it. Have an open conversation with her, but realise that her sex toys are not your competition.
Rip that band-aid. Do it as soon as possible.
The second paragraph really sounds like a summary of Berserk from Griffith's perspective. Don't mind this, op.
Listen to your body.
I wouldn’t believe that he did this on purpose to teach you a lesson. He got busted and made up some bullshit on the fly to deflect blame onto you.
He asked for her snap while you were in the bathroom? Yea that’s shady and not “friend” behavior from him. She seems like a headache man. Is the juice worth the squeeze here?
It sounds like you’re not listening to/not understanding her needs which (in part) increases her frustration.
Op, if some stranger walked up to you on a street and said they’ll murder you are you gonna stand there and wait? Would you run and make sure your daughter has a mother??? Dafuq, lady. This is not the time to hesitate mama.
This is clearly not what you signed up for. Also, how do you date someone for 3 months and not know he's a father? That's a red flag. What are you going to learn at 6 months?
Omg. You don't have a boyfriend. You have a dog that's not housebroken, pissing on all your stuff.
He needs therapy.
I wouldn't be able to tolerate having all my stuff pissed on and I'd be gone. So fucking disrespectful.