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I mean if you are looking for a reason to break up you have the list all ready. Personally I wouldn’t put up with being torn apart for things I like let alone be hit because I suggested something for the other to enjoy. She’s trying to make you fit into her mold of what a “real man” is. Which if she has no issue causing issues in public then she’ll do worse at home and will get worse as time goes on.
Glad this was high up.
This dude isnt mentally stable and is using his past as emotional blackmail/abuse. Just because he had a shitty past doesnt mean he cant become the type of AH who possibly hurt him.
OPs role as a girlfriend doesnt include therapist and punching bag.
OP should go to the hospital to see if the injuries did anything significant, plus they would be able to contact a DV advocate, document injuries (while they are visible/'fresh') and the police (ehich I highly recommend pressing charges which can possibly make it easier to get a restraining order iirc?).
I think hospital should be the first stop tbh
What you should do is not approach your girlfriend in a way that blames her, but from a place of care. “you said you didn't notice he was holding your waist and I'm worried this guy will do so again when he notices you are too distracted to notice, and that he will try again to hold you in a way you aren't comfortable. Is this worry right?” (maybe when this guy is at another person's place and you can stop him from being there).
That way you approach this problem together as a couple instead of pitching her against you. This is under the assumption she was indeed too focused on the story she was telling, but if your girlfriend never did anything before and you trust her, I would definitely give her the benefit of the doubt.
But if she responds to this with that you worry too much, that he was “only” holding her, etc… Well, that's when you start putting down your own boundaries. But even then say “well, even if you are okay with him doing that, I am not. So I'd like to know how together we can make sure this doesn't happen again”. Work together on the problem.
Only when she then says “well, I don't care, as long as I am comfortable it is okay”, it becomes a problem with your gf. Then it warrants a deeper discussion about respecting each other's boundaries.
Kinda sounds like she will cheat on you one day, even if she didn’t cheat on you that night
Give it another month or two. Try not to have many of these overwrought conversations. In two months, if he's still unsure and you aren't loving that, dump him.
Take pictures of all the broken things to remind you, him, anyone else why you need to cancel this wedding to protect yourself and your KIDS.
Wedding planning is stressful but it's also a good pre-wedding test to see how people deal with stress and life.
If he couldn't keep himself together for an engagement, he won't for a married life.
Don't put yourself or your kids in further danger with this guy. He's shown you what you need to know.
Oh do tell, how a generalization of men is not sexism?
Pick a race and put that race into your comment and let me know what that is.
Idk man. Even my mom said not to tell her.
Not that kind of help. Professional he'll.
About all that you are doing is prolonging his childhood.
He needs to be single to realize the amount of effort it takes to adult. Then, maybe, he will be able to cohabitat and be a partner and nit a dependent.
In all kindness – block her phone, her email, her IM, DM and whatever other M there is. Her life is no longer worth your time and energy. She no longer exists in your world.
What she said a week ago is irrelevant. It could be true, it could be a lie, she could have been sparing your feelings. It honestly doesn't matter which.
Go eat food she hated, what movies you like, go on-line your own life.
Stop letting her online rent free in your head.
He is not going to say it. I was with my ex for 3 years, he said he loves me long after we broke up, and at this point, there was no going back. He, like your BF, claimed he shows love with acts of service and strongly believed words have no meaning and is better to show his love, instead of saying it. And while I somewhat agree, this raises a bigger question you need to think about: If your BF's love language is acts of service, isn't saying “I love you” one, if that's what is making your SO happy? Is he doing other things to show his love and commitment to you, the way you understand it, or he is always acting as he, himself, sees fit? And, most importantly, if you see him as the person you want to spend your life with, are you ready to accept you might not hear those words, like, ever?