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Seriously, how is it fair to judge his actions? He could have been thinking the exact same as you OP… like what?
Why are you acting like a fool it's a girl friend and the thing is your letting them walk all over you tell her how you feel if she can't see the wrong here tell her you are done and leave it's that easy . You can't control what other people do that I'm Clyde's your gf if she's going to be with this guy she will anyway but your just letting it happen with you in the middle
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My boyfriend [M23] and I [F21] have been together for five months and we love and care for each other deeply. However, he is a Muslim and I'm a white atheist girl and this has been consuming me. To be specific, my boyfriend mentioned how his religion doesn't allow dating (so he basically shouldn't be with me) and that his relationship with his parents would be completely ruined if they found out about us because they would never accept me. Ever since he told me, I've been thinking about it and crying over it almost everyday because knowing this I feel like our relationship will lead to nowhere, when I genuinely wish to be with this man forever. We've been talking about this a lot and a couple of days ago he basically said that his parents would accept me and that we could get married if I was a Muslim (implying I should convert to Islam). I said I wouldn't convert because I don't believe in God and he just said that's fine and we left it at that. I can tell that he loves me a lot and that he genuinely doesn't want to lose me and neither do I. This situation is taking a huge toll on our mental health because I need to know that it's worth it and that we're not wasting each other's time. I don't wanna break up with him because I hope everything will fall into place eventually but I also need some advice on what to do in this situation apart from waiting for him to basically tell his parents about me. TLDR; my Muslim boyfriend said dating is not allowed in his religion and that his parents would never accept me as an atheist white girl so I need to know if I'm wasting my time with him and what I can do in this situation.
Okay? I'm talking about the real world though.
Yeah, from all the drugs i have tried mdma was one of the more softer ones, at least in my personal experience.
But to this whole post and almozt any other post on this sub their is 1 clear answer: communicate with your partner!!
I'm choosing to suck it up now. I just need help with doing that, and being able to not care about it. Furthermore, I do appreciate her, and it's normal to feel frustrated about some sexual incompatibilities, right? That is not a reason to split, unless you only care about sex and looks, in my opinion.
Who knows I might not even care in several years, or it might be worse, I can't tell.
I would not be in a relationship with someone who had no ability to hold down a job and, more importantly, no willingness to contribute to the shared housing, financial obligations, future plans…
There is no future here beyond him playing FIFA or LOL or whatever it is as long as he can, on your dime.
It's ultimately more kind to break things off. You spare him your resentment. You are spared his lack of ambition.
I don't mean to come off harshly. I'm just brusque because I recognize the situation from my own experience.
Best of luck to you.
I mean to you everyone is different honestly
Honestly when your friend who hate kissing clearly enjoyed a dream about kissing you and is using every opportunity they get to hug, kiss, pat etc you, it's not a far stretch to say that they're into you yes
Honestly I was convinced that she was into you before you specified that she was bi, at this point I don't really see what you or her could even do to make it more obvious without stating it out loud
But it doesn't really matter : You will probably not be able to hide those feelings forever, so the best you can do is to tell her how you feel and see what happen. It's very unlikely that she will react poorly to that with your current relationship
His own dad is telling you to report him, that's huge!! Listen to him.
As a SA victim myself, we don’t always know what can and will cause triggers. All we can expect from partners is that the will listen when we identify that we have a problem with what they are doing and they stop the behavior moving forward. You didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t sexually assault her.
You don't want to end up being that wall one day.
my last name is a naked one to work with
The kid could take on your fiancée's last name.
Her grandma was a very kind-hearted person and usually I'd say of course, but her grandma literally said on her deathbed that she does not want any child named after her.
What about using a name that is related to the name?
My wife didnt deny but she is adamant it was just 2 drunken hookups and when she realized what she had done she was very ashamed and cut the guy off from her life and severely curtailed her drinking too.
Life lesson – if they say it was 2 drunken hookups, the truth is it was 5.
when she realized what she had done
Did she realize it after cumming on his dick?
I would really like some advise on how to deal with this.
If it were me, I would be divorcing her fast. Even if it were just 2 hookups, it takes a lot of steps to say no, think “I respect OP too much and I don't want to lose him”, then stop oneself from cheating. Instead she said, “fuck it I'm horny, he'll never know anyway”, and then went on to fuck another dude. Pretty selfish. Also, she was sober when they saw each other in the class and flirted.
This was pure premeditation, my friend.
I wonder what the wife’s story is.
She seems to be in fight or flight rage mode, and has chosen fight. 24 is not a girl, it’s a young woman, and she doesn’t see this person as just some teenager because they aren’t.
It’s difficult for you because if you tell her to stop it reinforces all the red she’s seeing.
You need to get someone else involved to tell her to back down and stop immediately, just to stop the bleed and fallout.
After that, couples therapy. Initiate it yourself and don’t let her say no.
She sure doesn't sound into you to me.
“Girlfriend, I don't really feel connected to you throughout the day or week. Not sure exactly where we're going or where you're at in this relationship. You seem to have no problems keeping in touch with others… but not me. And that's OK, but maybe I'm putting too much emotional investment into this relationship.”
…I mentioned it after talking about how they're not 15, which implies I was talking about that age. Not 30…. should be obvious I think?
Honestly, I'm with this one.
Lots of posts wondering why people stay in shit relationships, well, here's the early warning sign OP.
If you talk to him again, ask him how he would feel if you did the EXACT same thing with an older male boss.
Then hang up or slam the door in his face. He knows what he did, and it would be a dealbreaker to anyone with a brain.
So like why are you even still with her
It's very weird! During these 4 years of relationship there were some situations like this one?
You also find yourself single. Could there be any correlation between the 2?
??
If this college were really to do this knowing you're married it would be such an egregious intrusion that she probably deserves to be reported to HR. But if you don't want to take this step you'll just have to tell her that it's crass beyond belief to hit on someone who's married (with a kid no less). There's absolutely nothing positive that could come from telling your wife about this – 'cause she'd probably insist that you either report it or find a new job. But you don't have to hold back on telling this coworker off if they make a pass at you. She wouldn't deserve the avoidance of “undue embarrassment” if she does this. In fact she deserves to be made as embarrassed as possible.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and reply to this. It has helped a lot in viewing things differently as well as I am more awake too. You are right I cant control people nor stand up for them. They need to do so themselves. I think I just have to communicate my discomfort and up to them to do whatever with the knowledge. I guess I was viewing things more so in a consensual view because of my past experiences that I didn't stop to think it might all be innocent. If things happen that I am even more uncomfortable then sadly I guess I will have to remove myself from the group. Which is very saddening to even think about.
Oh absolutely agree with you, at the end of the day it's a job that has demand, if there wasn't a demand there wouldn't be a supply.
We are thank you, it's still tough some days but each day is a better day
He wants to eat his cake and have it to. Reality is as a 19M he wants to and hopes to sleep with other people and that might mean more to him then being in a relationship right now.
Don’t try to hold on to a guy with this mindset and don’t do thinks you are uncomfortable with. A threesome isn’t going to do anything to prolong the relationship really, just make it end more messy.
Thank you! That's so kind 🙂
Forget “Family ” names, begin your own personal lineages.
Keep your surnames and then name any/all male kids Sembower & female kids Fox .
This would create a new and equal Matriarchal & Patriachal lines.
Sexist grandparents don't get upset by this because the “males' are still being named after the father ( all they actually care about) and realists/historians know the only true line is the female one anyway ,so girls should rightly inherit their mothers name.
Historically 1 in 4 kids is not fathered by the person on the birth certificate.
My wife has a brain tumour. Her personality has changed loads. And we don’t get physical anymore although we still love each other. It’s something I’ve resigned myself to as her carer
Any changes in the brain can be weird and permanent.
You know when they removed her tumour they also removed healthy brain? They’ve taken away “something” of her whether you can see that or not.
Brain tumours make people do strange out of character things. She may be cheating as others have said, or the BT may be in effect still. Or it could be both!
I feel sorry for you OP, but you need to clue up on the BT side of things.
We are statistically worse off when we marry men.
So she does have an incentive to divorce him and take everything he has then? Which would then make him correct and smart not to get married at all and continue doing what they're doing. Sounds like they both benefit.
I didn’t… I feel it was too early to say those things as we just know each other for like about a month. Also, he will sometimes hold then let go of my hand while we holding hands, i’m not sure what he meant by that
I dont think she is doing a good job at communicating her feelings here and what she needs from you to be able to process it. She seems to know it shouldnt bother her, but it did, and she seems to be trying to figure that out on her own, and its stressing you out.
I also notice that the one thing she asks for is time to process, and you seem to really struggle with that. She was silent the day after so you forced her to talk to you about it because you couldnt stand it. She said she needed time to process. After a few days you couldnt take it any more and broke down sobbing, forcing another conversation. She again said she knew it was fine and needed time to process. Now after a week you are resentful. It seems like you dont see the big deal with what you did, so she is taking too long to process for your liking, so you keep forcing and pressing the issue.
Walking in on my partner masturbating would be a bit weird, I might need a second myself to just go through the motions and not be awkward about it. If my partner then kept on hammering on about me being over it, forcing a convo the next day, breaking down crying after a few days after being reasured I just needed a bit of time, and now a week later start to resent me because they thought I was beeing unfair, that would honestly consern me more and make me more closed off. She could honestly be having a naked time processing it because you keep resetting the process for her when you force it before she is ready.
Her being silent and short isnt helpfull or productive, if she needs space and time to process it seem like you need more concrete things to hold on to and work with. I also dont think you are doing the situations any favours by pushing, forcing, breaking down, feeling shes being unfair, feeling resentfull because she isnt just over it yet. Those are a lot of pretty impactfull actions and feelings over a situation like this and her needing space before she can go back to normal. This might be something you want to look closer at, as it seems to be stressing her out, as well as it being pretty rough on you emotionally as well.
You were already flirting with Jason while you were with David. You did screw him over. You left him to have sex someone else. Now you want him back after it didn't work out with the other guy.
You don't do that to someone. You'll do it again the minute you become bored again. You need to grow up. Leave him alone. It's over with him. He will never trust you again.
Ummm explain what you mean when you say your husband gets violent?
How is it insecure to think it’s a red flag if someone is having sex with more than one person while I’m dating her? That just means she doesn’t value sex the same way I do. Meaning it’s a red flag
That's exactly why he's breaking up with you. You aren't dumb, you see through his bullshit extremely clearly. He dangled getting back together like a carrot on a stick. Once he realized you wouldn't meet his unreasonable demands, he took it away. Also, please remember he also only reached out again about “dating” when you went no contact. He knows his control over you is slipping, and he's desperate. Please, for the love of God, go hang out with your friends and ditch this immature controlling guy.
I can't go to funerals typically. I look at death differently than most, and when I don't get all emotional it upsets people. I do my best to look somber but I'm, not a great actor. It's shitty and I don't want to disturb people in their mourning so I usually avoid these kind of events.
Not saying your friend is the same way, but she may have had a pretty good reason for not going. I would not worry about it. If she is a good friend, then she is. Going to a funeral or not does not determine good friends.
I'm not sure if he's really cheating or it's just mainly my thoughts. I don't know what's real or not at this point.
Lol it's 6:30am here. I took them at 10:30 last night, per usual. Idk what's going on with me lately but my days and nights are totally flipped.