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Why do you need her boyfriends phone number? Is he texting her inappropriate? Flirting? Did he cheat on you in the past?
It sounds like you're in a difficult situation. It's understandable that you're confused and uncertain about how to interpret the way this guy is acting. It's nude to tell from the outside what someone else is thinking or feeling, so it's important to trust your own judgement and intuition. It's also important to remember that even if he does have feelings for you, it's not okay to act on them if he is already in a relationship.
And she's choosing to want to smash more
He’s just telling you what he knows you want to hear. That’s what manipulation is. He is taking advantage of you because you are young and inexperienced and this will end badly. Don’t do this to yourself.
Yes, I agree. A direct, serious conversation about boundaries without being accusatory.
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Why does he have so much to say about her? There’s so much going on that he could talk about instead. Ask him that he keep those thoughts to himself.
You told her. She made her choice. Get your apartment back and if she wants to be a cat lady then let her.
It sucks but when two people are living together they have to compromise sometimes so everyone can be happy. This time it’s a cat but what else would it be in the future? Move back out.
So your opinion would not change at all even if OP said that they hadn't had sex in a year and she was regularly trying to initiate but he rejected her every single time, many of those times very dismissively?
Everything I come up with is insecure.
I want to get to know him better and go out again if he ends up moving back.
And normally I’d joke but I have nothing
We really connected with each other on snowboarding
I didn’t like babies or young children either. I’ve got an 18 yr old. I love him and I’ve loved him from the minute he was born. Up to that minute I was worried I wouldn’t love him.
I still don’t like other peoples children and I found it nude to reciprocate and say nice things when people with young children said nice things about mine.
There’s a big difference between not wanting children at all and not really being sure whether you like them.
I know people on this sote are quick to jump to ending things, but how many times is he going to break your heart before you get it through your thick head that he doesn't want you? He. Does. Not. Want. You. He may not even be attracted to women! Hell, he may be asexual! Both are valid reasons to not sleep with you! But there's no reason why you should havd ever put up with this for five years! Wake up and break up, move on!
Yeah. Sadly there's enough men watching their garbage, otherwise they would have faded away.
Ask her if she'd like to take penetrative sex off the table for a while…and just be intimate in other ways. Sometimes the pressure of being penetrated needs to be removed…then she might relax more. Being penetrated is a full on thing….its actually something that takes a lot of trust. Even in women who haven't been raped
Sounds like victim blaming to me, and removing his accountability.
OK, let me turn it around on you. Be honest with yourself, op, even if you deny it on here.
Your wife does exactly what you've been doing.
You stay home with the kids on weekends now while your wife goes and gets trashed at the club with friends. She doesn't include you in her plans. Why should she? You know the drill.
You watch her get dolled up and leave. Every single week. No word or reassurance from her. She kisses her babies bye and joyfully exits to have fun out on the town.
You become accustomed to her being out past midnight. Not knowing what she's up to really truly.
Then she doesn't come home until 4am. Oh, where was she? The male strip club. For several hours.
And you've been at home week after week, night after night, being told she's just binging with friends. But who knows really. You're at home. Kids asleep. Your wife in that cute sexy outfit out there on the club. Or not. And then she's at the strip club.
How's that feel? Alone in bed in your undies with the TV on not really watching it bc of the what ifs in your mind.
She told you she kissed some random stranger and would have done plenty more of it weren’t for the fact that you’re in a relationship. She clearly admit sorry about it and I am pretty sure she added the extra detail to make it hurt all the more. She then tells you she needs space when you on-line together and what you’re doing is too little too late. It’s like she is begging you to dump her.
They were violent enough to permanently damage a pan?! Not ok in any way, a massive over reaction. Do they often show this level of violence?
How else would someone react to me feeling zero emotions for 2 years and now being so obsessed with him that I follow him without him knowing sometimes
Figures:
Anyhow, your pov is more than selfish. Yeah, Life sucks. Shit happens. But you've seemingly got someone Close to you who cares about you.
You say you don't want to break Up, cause it'd Break his Heart. But you'd be willing to just vanish. Please explain this logic to me. Because i don't get it.
Also there's absolutely no need to change ages on reddit. There are so many users one couldn't link your real person to any of this unless you're giving your real Name, address or similar. You're just making yourself untrustworthy.
How bout a female trainer
Therapy would be my go to. You get out of it what you put in.
I’d start looking for another therapist.
The comment he makes isn’t a statement about his feelings
Being told as a guy … is extremely hurtful.
If you re-read his comment, he is making a statement directly about how this can make men feel. The feeling they experience is extremely hurt. He is not judging or demanding in any capacity here. Women are justified to express themselves, but words can be hurtful if they're not expressed with tact and care. Two things can be true at the same time.
This is something to seek therapy for
It is not women’s responsibility … It is their responsibility to learn that.
I totally agree with you. As I mentioned in my last comment, this insecurity of men is not an excuse to avoid healthy communication, and it's not a healthy mindset to begin with. I agree with you that therapy could greatly help.
Everyone has insecurities because it's human nature. I have insecurities. You have insecurities. Maybe you're insecure about your appearance, or maybe you're jealous. If you're in a relationship, would you want your partner to scrutinize you for your insecurities, tell you to just get over it, dismiss your feelings, and question your sexuality?
That's not how parters are supposed to treat each other in a relationship, and that's not how you support someone to overcome an insecurity. It requires patience, love, understanding, compassion, reassurance, and some time. It is also possible to express your needs and feelings while also respecting your partner's needs and feelings.
We're all humans. We're not perfect and we all have flaws. We should try treat each other as we'd hope someone would treat us.
That seems a bit impersonal for 5 years together
Strong leader: yes.
Good man: no.
Is he doing what he believes is necessary for his country, yes, but is it the morally correct thing to do: in my opinion no. War should never be the answer to any problem; and yet in reality it is.
Sadly though I have no real perspective on what is actually going on over there because I don't on-line there. I am ignorant of the lives of those people, their hardships and their happy moments.
Your son is in the same camp. He does not, nor does he need to, understand life for your common Russian/Ukraine person. All he sees is the wars, the hardships, and the pain of the innocent people forced to fight for a cause not their own.
From his, what I'm assuming very liberal ideological view, Putin is satan incarnate. And if Putin is an absolute evil than anyone who sides with him, even those who has no choice but to side with him, are evil.
Face it your son thinks you're both evil, either change your ideals or accept losing your son. In civil discussion there is always other means of communication, but in the world if global politics and civil discourse diplomacy will always fail.
Says who? Ambition somehow makes relationships with women stable? Women need ambitious partners?
What an immature AH your girlfriend is. Anyone in a committed, monogamous relationship should not be on a dating app for any reason. Honestly just get rid of her.
Your new girl crazy, homie. Don’t try to fix her, just peace out.
But they're the same perspective. Neither is lying. Just holding back some stuff. There is nothing contradicting in there. Just the wife failed to mention her abuse.
Leave ! He emotionally cheats on you, tells you it is your fault. Manipulative! He is emotionally and physically abusing you. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change him. It will get worse! Please listen to people's advice they all mean well. You are young with a whole life ahead of you. Do not stay in this garbage relationship. If you on-line with him and have children just imagine what kind of life you'll give them.
I don't understand how guys don't seem to understand that who they follow on Instagram reflects on them PUBLICLY. Their mom sees it, their partner sees it, their partner's mom sees it, and everyone sees it. This is what “alt accounts” are made for, so you don't publicly broadcast that you are looking at thirst traps.
That's how you can get over it, by telling him this, but in your own words, haha.
Gross. If he thinks calling you derogatory words are cute start calling him derogatory terms back and see if he is fine with it. Better yet, just toss him in the trash and move on.
Love this. OP is rightly sceptical to move in with someone as per his own boundaries but is just here shitting on his GF and making his lack of interest clear.
I can see why it would feel a bit unfair if one person is shouldering majority of the bill, but taking out the $ amounts for arguments sake, if you wanted to move in with someone you love and circumstances just expedite the situation, you’d want to move somewhere you wouldn’t instantly outgrow.
Bro she’s the type of girl to ruin your life and then dance in the flames. Run as safely as you can