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Don't be in a relationship.
If that is the case then yes, I would concede that she must seek refuge but as I said before, OP is not being forthcoming with information. All I can do is offer the most objective unbias opinion I can.
Taking sides in any therapeutic setting is a dangerous precedent to set and im trying my best not to but apparently anytime you try that on this subreddit ostracizm is the norm.
So again I guess I'm concerned about what unknown consequences
None whatsoever
So again I guess I'm concerned about what unknown consequences
All of them
Less than a week after she started we were already sleeping together. I knew it was wrong but I didn't know what kind of relationship they had.
Your lack of integrity on display.
But when I've asked if she would ever leave him for me she says she could never.
Over the past week or two though the honeymoon phase has kind of slipped away between us. Her true colors have come out.
You're an asshole. You got rejected and now you're retaliating. You lack integrity and when you dont get what you want, when you want it, you try break it for everyone else.
Turns out she just a gold digger and is with him for his money.
And you were just the other guy, why are you surprised? Oh wait did you think you could become her number 1.
Yup this is over.
It’s good to make a game plan and give people chances to be reliable or not be reliable. Just listen to actions sooner.
Not responding well to honesty or needing more is a good sign they aren’t ready. So is taking a lack of intimacy personally. We all need breathers and alone time.
Most of us men do need the affirmation, but not with all the other you’ve mentioned. It shouldn’t have to feel like yet another chore, but should be genuine appreciation otherwise it’s worthless. For him that shouldn’t be good enough.
Sorry you’re going through this.
She grew up learning to lie. Old habits die naked. She will be a habitual liar for years to come. Longer, if she makes no effort to change that. She's not ready for a relationship that requires honesty and communication; she needs help and you can't give that to her unless you happen to be a licensed therapist. Do both of you a favor and split while it's not too ugly.
Is it possible for her to get a job and put the kid in daycare? You sound burnt out and no one should just expect their partner to take on the full burden of saving up for a house.
That’s a good idea. It would take the “burden” off of me while encouraging him to be more involved. Relationships are naked ugh
boyfriend does this for 2 years. you stay with him.
hello, red flag. have we met.
They were not both shitty to each other. It's very important to acknowledge that in order for them to move past this.
If you genuinely really actually want to hide this from your partner you are a bad person. He needs to know this and you need to kick this friend out.
He will need to be humbled in some fashion to make that change.
So should I just not say anything about it and stick alongside him? Will his quest throughout CC and university teach him enough to help him mature? I know we are just at the beginning of college but I don't want to stand by and do nothing when I could be convincing him to build up his resume.
And I have no guarantee I will be successful…it's just that by being in the honors college I am constantly around med school hopefuls and see what they are like, and currently my boyfriend is not at all like them.
Reminded me of the time my father walked in on me(30m at that time) balls deep in my girl(26f at that time)
Your husband continues to give his live! friend precedence over your marriage. Regardless of whether they have feelings for each other, his behavior is affecting your marriage. If you took this woman out of the equation and he was just gaming all the time and ignoring you, it would be a similar problem.
I don't know what the answer is, but you should consider your own happiness and whether he's capable of truly respecting your boundaries, which are very reasonable. You are trying to save your marriage – is he?
Is this Tagalog???
He doesn't love you. Are yall on a lease together? Can you move or kick him out? It's better to be alone than to feel alone when you are with someone.
I’m not trying to be rude but why did you marry him?
You don't have to doubt paternity to get the test. It's just good practice.
probably men in your life. what does that say about you?
We dated for a month. We were like soulmates.
You lost me here, OP.
You only dated for 4 weeks. You definitely were not soulmates, and realistically, you don't even know him.
Maybe you were led on, used & dropped. Maybe he got caught up in the excitement of everything & went too fast, realised what he had done and ended it. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. What is done, is done.
Dwelling on it won't change things, or magically make them make senses. I don't think that this is something that you will ever fully understand, and that is OK.
All you can do is work out what you want in a relationship, work out your likes & dislikes, work out what your boundaries are (or what is a “hard no”). Next time, stick to your guns and if it is meant to be, it will.
“Is she being insecure and overreacting or should I just stop being myself”
You clearly don’t want advice you want reassurance. Do you expect someone here to say “yeah you should stop being yourself”. No one is going to say that.
Yep. She sounds insecure. But, you sound full of yourself a bit so. Who knows.
Doubtful, but it's not fair you to to deal with it.
If he won't do that, it's up to you how much longer you want to put up with him being like this. You are free to leave at any point, for any reason. Don't tolerate unfounded anger. There's too much of that in this world, it needs to end.
Exactly! Especially with something this intense and after no prior ramping up session. Like, maybe start with a “hey can I blindfold you with this soft cloth?”. Nope, first ask is straight to the fully bound, gagged, and TAPED eyes.
And then the “aftercare” is being ignored on the couch with zero context, gentle contact, or dialog. No emotional or physical support.
OP, this sounds traumatizing. Again, you were not treated as a friend here, but a thing to be toyed with and your health was in danger. Please be cautious!
yep
Based on your comments, it makes sense.
I don't know you but I'm really sorry you don't feel safe around your siblings. I can't imagine how lonely it must feel if you cant even trust your brother. so sorry
I mean, why stop now in my opinion. It’s going to hurt either way, you may as well live! in the moment and spend the remaining time with him.
He'll lose his vacation time if he doesn't take it now. It's understandable that OP is feeling fomo but he's not selfish for going.
What a loser. And imho it's two fold: – doesn't give a shit about you and your recovery from a very recent operation. Are you just there for his sexual gratification? – doesn't feel upset about your recent miscarriage. It's his baby too. Doesn't he care?
Sounds like she'll resent you if you keep her around.
I would just tell him, I don’t think your long time gf would like us flirting. Tell him you have no SIDE CHICK ENERGY and that’s that. Don’t feel bad for him, feel bad for his girlfriend who has no idea she’s dating a cheating loser.
How do you know if he deletes his text messages? Are you watching him as he uses his phone or going through it? If so, then maybe this isn’t the right situation for you, because that’s not normal.
This guy has more red flags than a Beijing Olympics. Breakup with him. You deserve better.
You are naive to think you can train medical service dog. You are just a rando 21 year old girl, wtf do you know? You would most likely just end up with a poorly behaved dog that you and your partners responsibility when it's obviously not a service dog and getting into trouble out in public.
If you are working already that’s good. See if you can find a roommate situation that will allow you to keep your kitties?
DONT YOU GODDAMN PAY FOR THE TICKET!!