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Did she help him fill out the forms?
It is a possibility that it could help, but at the same time its likely it could make it worse. it's more recommended to stay off of everything and hopefully the body will heal itself over time. anything else, and you greatly risk making any recovery take even longer
He doesn’t have to lie to you, because if you love him enough you’ll lie to yourself.
Women experience significant bodily changes much earlier than men. Someday he’ll have a beer paunch and a dick that doesn’t work. And nary a love around to comfort his cold, hateful heart.
Time to go and share your splendor with one who adores you. If he loved you one way and you changed looks, he only had a crush.
Thank you!!! I will try my best
Leaving all emotion out of it…you're all living with your parents. I don't understand how he wants to manage this in a way that doesn't involve putting a divider down the middle of the house and having set times to use facilities, and set times to visit the baby.
You are where you are I'm afraid, but I'd have some concerns about the level of entitlement here – he's living with your family (presumably at low or no cost if you're saving for an apartment) but resents their involvement in your lives, and also wants to turn down offers of help that would only have benefitted you.
I really think that it's worth investing in some counselling here. What he's annoyed about doesn't feel rational at all, and I think he might be feeling out of his depth (which could be a reason he wants his Mum to be closer, to be fair).
You’re admitting that you want to reach out, so that you feel better, not him.
“Before you speak, always ask yourself: 1) Does this need to be said 2) “Does this need to be said by me? 3) Does this need to be said by me now?”
Give him space, trust me.
My tires were also wet
So what's your theory? He took his car off-roading, got it dirty, washed it, then came back home and took your car off-roading too?
Condensation makes total sense. It's winter. I online in Seattle; if I spotted a car that wasn't wet, including the tires, I'd be wondering how that happened.
Your death is not a big deal.
You were with a 17 year old when you were 21? Stay away from her. You are a predator.
By telling her that you are not into it and its a dealbreaker for you. I dont think anyone can answer that. Will you be ok with it when she dates men much more frequently than you date other women? You will have to completely change who you are as a person and learn to let go of your ego and jealousy. Is she worth that? Up to you.
Your boyfriend is in the closet.
True I tried to leave before though, well I did leave and was out living my life, and he sucked me back in
I think your insecurities are showing. It's a group photo, not an organization.
I guess I'd ask how you know, when you say, “stop me from speaking because she is afraid I will say something that will emotionally damage her child.”
To me, when you say that, it reads as though you know there is a boundary there. You specify when she shushes you and why. So, in my mind, there is obviously a boundary that you crossed. It may not be the clearest boundary, but it is clearly there.
To me, it sounds like you need to sit down with her and try to talk about where these boundaries are. I don't read your post and think that she is being controlling. I 100% agree with her shushing you if you cross a boundary with her kid, in that case, I am not afraid to admit I am on her side with aggressively shushing you. It just sounds like you both need to be more clear with each other and figure out more precisely where that boundary is.
Find a time when you and her can talk, privately, and importantly without the kid around. If it were me, I'd wait for the kid to go to school, offer to go get some coffee and then you can find a neutral place where you can privately talk to each other (a park bench away from others for example). Then, just be honest. Just sum up what you said here and say that you want to find the boundary. Either she is open to talking or else you can just walk away and just not talk about that. Period.
And if this continues to be a problem, you have to remember that you shouldn't burn yourself to save others. You tried to help, but if the situation is toxic for you, you can just walk away. You aren't a bad person if you do. That can include walking away entirely or else just walking away from talking about those types of topics altogether.
You cant force someone into parenthood
Do not engage with the Infamous Vagina Spammer (as they call her on r/relationship_advice) / Gross Vagina Evader (as they call her on r/sex).
I don't take issue with him being a joiner. he was one before I met him – when I said just a joiner, its because I also do volunteer work and other stuff and when he's not working, he goes to the gym and runs but doesn't have other things that he does. so when I said just a joiner, I meant in that context.
Wow, you are so passive, borderline weak. You are accepting open abuse. Your kids are gonna think this how they are supposed to act. Find your backbone, she doesn’t respect you at all.
Just lie to him and keep him out of your life.
You're very observant, this will serve you will in your relationships.
I think you hit the nail(s) on the head. On the one hand she IS isolating you from female company. Which reeks of a lack of emotional maturity, jealousy and a lack of trust.
You're allowed friends of any gender, as long as you're respectful and sensitive to your partner's feelings. Which you appear very much to be. Admittedly, if you're super close emotionally to a female friend, it can be very very hot to discern your relationship for your partner, even if it entirely platonic, so I can understand this singular friend worrying her. But not the rest.
I didn't think she was manipulating you until the last passage. It's 9 to 1 odds that she is. It's the oldest trick in the “I'll make him jealous to get my way” book. I wish she had just been honest with you instead. But she made her choice.
Beware. She shows the tendencies of someone who isn't emotionally well-adjusted. This is fixable.. but it takes time, self awareness, and a willingness to change. And if you're with her during that time, a loooot of patience on your part. So you have some thinking to do about what you're willing to tolerate, and whether or not she's willing to grow as a person and as a partner.
Guys like this enjoy the ego boost from getting attention from a younger woman. The age difference gives him the advantage as well, because his brain is done growing, while you still have up to a few years of brain growth left. It makes you more vulnerable. Both my husband and I tend to walk around without our wedding rings on, but that is a sensory issue for us (we are autistic). It sounds more like this guy is trying to hide his marriage status at work because most women will ignore a married guy. This guy does not want to be ignored.
Whether or not this guy is a narcissist, I can’t tell because I don’t have enough information, but it’s often narcissistic type people who cheat because they need the attention. Dr. Ramani on YouTube is an expert on narcissism, I suggest looking her up.
As far as getting over this guy, you need to start grey rocking him. Ignore him when you can and be boring and robotic when you can’t. Narcissists can’t stand being grey rocked and will often do something to try to shock a reaction out of you. So be prepared for that. But honestly, if he does something to shock you, you have more evidence of narcissism.
She's not that into you. Her actions are clear: cancelling last minute and ghosting speak volumes. On the rare occasion I've had to cancel a date with someone I'm interested in at the last minute for legitimate reasons, I make damn sure to schedule an alternate date and to communicate my regrets. No one is so busy that they can't send a text.